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jxe

babe en der wood
Joined
Apr 12, 2018
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Location
portland.or.us
everyone here is an old professional (engineer) so why not?:

my wife needs to quit her job at a tiny small business but doesn’t want to deal with the guilt and hate. what’s the best way to let them down?
 
A business is going to fire her the moment they have financial problems without thinking twice, why should there be 'loyalty' one way but not the other. There's no reason to feel guilty about leaving a job.

Is there something to feel guilty about? Are these people more important than why she's leaving?

Hate is on them, if they are so selfish that they resent someone leaving for something better, you don't need those people in your life.

I have no idea of the circumstances, so none of this may apply.
 
If she is leaving for a better opportunity then it should be easy for all parties to understand.

If the move is lateral or backwards then that obviously indicates issues at her current work place. As uncomfortable as it may be, issues that drive her out really should be expressed.

Good luck
 
Her well being has to come first. If she accepts that, there should be no guilt. She has no control over hate if that is how they choose to react. In fact, if they respond with hate, that tells her the relationship was not in her long term interest.

So...just have a polite and candid conversation with them. If it is viable, she could offer to be available for consultation for a short period of time - a few hours a week - while they adjusted to her absence.
 
Bill SAS 513 said:
I tell my kids...ALWAYS give 2 weeks notice, via letter, or Email...That way, you're not burning that particular bridge. If they want to get rid of you sooner, that's on them.
Click to expand...
Same here but the rule is 'no less than 30 days' in my house.

My resignation is always short and to the point:
1) I have accepted a position with another organization.
2) I will depart this position effective [date and time].
3) Thank you for the opportunity to be here, to learn/grow, and to work with a notable group of professionals.
 
thanks everybody, it’s a bad situation (terrible hours, annoying work environment, no unpaid(!) leave until june) i have been bugging her to drop, but she is a team player and doesn’t want to leave them in a bind. the only detail i didn’t mention is we live in an apartment upstairs from the business, so seeing them in the lobby could be weird for a minute.
 
jxe said:
the only detail i didn’t mention is we live in an apartment upstairs from the business, so seeing them in the lobby could be weird for a minute.
Click to expand...
As long as they aren't your landlord, where it could cause your living arrangement to be a problem, then she shouldn't have an issue leaving. I am the owner of a small business myself. And, unfortunately, small businesses can be a revolving door as far as employees go. As soon as you think you have a good one, they go somewhere else. Or, you as the boss have to get rid of someone who isn't working out well for your business. But, that IS what business ownership is. If they can't handle losing an employee, then maybe they should go back to working 9 to 5.
 
Kudos to her for being a team player, that’s a rare gem of an employee in this “it’s about me and what’s best for me/my family/anything but the job that’s providing for all of it” state of affairs in the work world. In my final job before retirement, I had over 60 employees in my department. Those team players are gold, and I did my best to show them appreciation for it.

She’s been there as a good employee, and that’s how she should leave. Give them a full two weeks notice, thanking them for the opportunity of being employed there and wishing them and their business the best in the future. A reason for leaving isn’t required, but that’s your call. Sometimes it helps them to understand, other times it just spurs jealous or defensive reaction.

Be who you are. In this circumstance, actions are your responsibility and reactions are out of your control. Do what’s right and move on. As her partner, you make sure she knows how special she is that she cares enough about people to be fair even when she didn’t get the best treatment.
 
Bill SAS 513 said:
I tell my kids...ALWAYS give 2 weeks notice, via letter, or Email...That way, you're not burning that particular bridge. If they want to get rid of you sooner, that's on them.
Click to expand...

]-[@n$0Ma☩!© said:
Same here but the rule is 'no less than 30 days' in my house.

My resignation is always short and to the point:
1) I have accepted a position with another organization.
2) I will depart this position effective [date and time].
3) Thank you for the opportunity to be here, to learn/grow, and to work with a notable group of professionals.
Click to expand...

Lots of good advice in all of the responses. I'll add in with Bill and Hans as it is exactly what I would do/expect people to do. With the added caveat that after I give notice, I bust my a$$ for the next 2 weeks (or 30 days) to show them I'm still "invested."
 
jxe said:
thanks everybody, it’s a bad situation (terrible hours, annoying work environment, no unpaid(!) leave until june) i have been bugging her to drop, but she is a team player and doesn’t want to leave them in a bind. the only detail i didn’t mention is we live in an apartment upstairs from the business, so seeing them in the lobby could be weird for a minute.
Click to expand...
Ha ha ha would not bother me one single bit running into them in the lobby on a regular basis.

I'm pretty much a happy cheerful guy most all of the time so I'd shower them with cheer and kindness!
 
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