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Delphi, we have a problem.

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You laugh now, but The Yeasting comes for us all, when we shall rise like dough into the cosmic oven. Woe I say, woe and oregano. The human race is running out of thyme.

(I dunno how long i can keep these f'in puns up before I run out of Italian Herbs)
You are the Sage (hardee har)... Are you sure the crust is not stuffed?
 
You are the Sage (hardee har)... Are you sure the crust is not stuffed?
Sage...lol!

Ahem...the crust was stuffed by astrodimensional-cheese-beings ten million years ago, then pressurized when they landed in Greece in 32 BC, which is why they call it Greece (cuz its greasy and theres a film about it called Grease) and discovered by Nikola Tesla in 1906 using magnets (how the **** do they work). The earthquakes we experience are caused by pressure differentials from cheese oceans locked inside the flaky rim of the Earth. Man tries his best to alleviate the pressure through fracking, but eventually the stuffed crust of the Earth will implode, drowning all humans in a delicious yet boiling mozzarella/romano blend.

Do you even science bro?
 
Sage...lol!

Ahem...the crust was stuffed by astrodimensional-cheese-beings ten million years ago, then pressurized when they landed in Greece in 32 BC, which is why they call it Greece (cuz its greasy and theres a film about it called Grease) and discovered by Nikola Tesla in 1906 using magnets (how the **** do they work). The earthquakes we experience are caused by pressure differentials from cheese oceans locked inside the flaky rim of the Earth. Man tries his best to alleviate the pressure through fracking, but eventually the stuffed crust of the Earth will implode, drowning all humans in a delicious yet boiling mozzarella/romano blend.

Do you even science bro?
Ten million years? WTF dude... Everyone knows that Jeebus was riding dinosaurs though the valleys of pepperoni 2000 years ago. Dayum...
No way the crust is THAT old!
But you may be onto something... I read on the internet that they started frying Turkey in Greece, and selling it to Hungary. That may be BS though... Needs more research.
Now I'm Hungary again...
 
Ten million years? WTF dude... Everyone knows that Jeebus was riding dinosaurs though the valleys of pepperoni 2000 years ago. Dayum...
No way the crust is THAT old!
But you may be onto something... I read on the internet that they started frying Turkey in Greece, and selling it to Hungary. That may be BS though... Needs more research.
Now I'm Hungary again...

You silly fool. You dare mock the yeast? Jesus was an Anglican translation of the Aramaic "Cheezus". There are lots texts detailing his explanation of the true cosmology of the Pie, but he returned to the Cheeselord in 30 minutes or less. Julius Caesar was "crisped" as well for the same reason. This is why Little Caesars chose him as a mascot.

The crust is regenerative. That's why it's always popping fresh. The Pillsbury dough boy tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. You just want to keep poking him in the gut. Shame.
 
You silly fool. You dare mock the yeast? Jesus was an Anglican translation of the Aramaic "Cheezus". There are lots texts detailing his explanation of the true cosmology of the Pie, but he returned to the Cheeselord in 30 minutes or less. Julius Caesar was "crisped" as well for the same reason. This is why Little Caesars chose him as a mascot.

The crust is regenerative. That's why it's always popping fresh. The Pillsbury dough boy tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. You just want to keep poking him in the gut. Shame.
OK, now you're just sounding pie-ous...
 
Will this make you shut your pie holes?

Newton knew about the Pie, but his apple fetish prevented him from being able to thoroughly explain the Pie to the public, and so he projected his secretive desires in the laws of motion to trick peasants. Consequently, this gave rise to the symbolism of pineapples on pizza. They represent the spaceships landing on the pizza plane to take humanity to safety. This was Newton's vision. The jazz apple + the pines of Nova Scotia is the key to his plans.

The public has been indoctrinated to hate pineapples on pizza, thus they cannot fathom the genius of the pineapple generation ship plan.

The yeast commands you.

#nasaliedbacteriadied
#pinapplespaceship
#researchpizzaearth
 
I Wonder If Those So Quick To Dismiss And Discredit Will Be Just As Quick To Admit They Were Wrong?
Absolutely, when real evidence is presented.

Galileo proved that the sun was the center of the solar system, using observations about the world around him and sound reasoning (that the reasoning is sound is key). He was persecuted by religious leaders who refused to accept the truth presented to them. These days the vast majority of christians accept heliocentrism, but it took them much longer than it should have. This is one small historical example among many of science gaining ground and religion refusing to concede when it's wrong.

As pedophilia cases within the church keep piling up, the church (various denominations but I believe mostly catholic and baptist) responds by protecting the abusers and silencing the kids. The victims are told they need more religion and the abusers "are good people who would never do such a thing". For some reason, the church leaders favor the status quo over protecting children from abuse by adults in power. When will they realize there is a massive problem and they need to do something about it? They seem quick to deny all evidence of what's clearly happening in front of them.

Last week was supposed to be the rapture. Lots of people were unironically preparing to be raptured and were convinced beyond all reason that it was going to happen. Clearly it didn't happen. Will those people admit that their approach to interpretation of the bible is incorrect? Will they think that if they got this wrong, maybe there are other things they're wrong about too? They really should be thinking that, because they were dead wrong about the rapture.

The conviction of a christian is so wholly unconvincing because of the track record of religion being both belligerent and dead wrong on nearly every scientific issue throughout history.

Science, on the other hand, requires proof. A few weeks ago a team of scientists claimed they had made a superconductor at room temperature and pressure. The initial reaction in the science community was tentative excitement tempered by a LOT of skepticism. Immediately other teams started working to independently verify the results. And the thing is, if it's real, we will verify it. And if it's false, we'll figure that out. We don't need to believe what one scientist says. If we're motivated enough, we can find out for ourselves.

Science has a LONG history of theories being disproven and that disapproval being accepted relatively quickly. We're very quick to admit when we're wrong because claims of truths need to be proven, and therefore can also be refuted.




Edit to add: scientists are not perfect. People who believe in science are also not perfect. We're all still human. We make mistakes, we can be belligerent, we can be wrong, we can be cruel. There have been scandals in science, especially in medicine, that still have tragic impact in the world today. I won't deny any of that.
 
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Absolutely, when real evidence is presented.

Galileo proved that the sun was the center of the solar system, using observations about the world around him and sound reasoning (that the reasoning is sound is key). He was persecuted by religious leaders who refused to accept the truth presented to them. These days the vast majority of christians accept heliocentrism, but it took them much longer than it should have. This is one small historical example among many of science gaining ground and religion refusing to concede when it's wrong.

As pedophilia cases within the church keep piling up, the church (various denominations but I believe mostly catholic and baptist) responds by protecting the abusers and silencing the kids. The victims are told they need more religion and the abusers "are good people who would never do such a thing". For some reason, the church leaders favor the status quo over protecting children from abuse by adults in power. When will they realize there is a massive problem and they need to do something about it? They seem quick to deny all evidence of what's clearly happening in front of them.

Last week was supposed to be the rapture. Lots of people were unironically preparing to be raptured and were convinced beyond all reason that it was going to happen. Clearly it didn't happen. Will those people admit that their approach to interpretation of the bible is incorrect? Will they think that if they got this wrong, maybe there are other things they're wrong about too? They really should be thinking that, because they were dead wrong about the rapture.

The conviction of a christian is so wholly unconvincing because of the track record of religion being both belligerent and dead wrong on nearly every scientific issue throughout history.

Science, on the other hand, requires proof. A few weeks ago a team of scientists claimed they had made a superconductor at room temperature and pressure. The initial reaction in the science community was tentative excitement tempered by a LOT of skepticism. Immediately other teams started working to independently verify the results. And the thing is, if it's real, we will verify it. And if it's false, we'll figure that out. We don't need to believe what one scientist says. If we're motivated enough, we can find out for ourselves.

Science has a LONG history of theories being disproven and that disapproval being accepted relatively quickly. We're very quick to admit when we're wrong because claims of truths need to be proven, and therefore can also be refuted.




Edit to add: scientists are not perfect. People who believe in science are also not perfect. We're all still human. We make mistakes, we can be belligerent, we can be wrong, we can be cruel. There have been scandals in science, especially in medicine, that still have tragic impact in the world today. I won't deny any of that.
Did you know atheism is a religion?
 
Quick question: Any football fans here? The San Francisco 49ers were on Thursday night football last week. My question is, if the earth is flat, why was it well after dark where I live, but the sun was still out at the football game in California?

Also: Another client of mine want to Vegas last week and had that same experience as my boss... left Cincy after dark, got to Vegas and the sun was out.

How is this possible, in a flat earth scenario?
 
Quick question: Any football fans here? The San Francisco 49ers were on Thursday night football last week. My question is, if the earth is flat, why was it well after dark where I live, but the sun was still out at the football game in California?

Also: Another client of mine want to Vegas last week and had that same experience as my boss... left Cincy after dark, got to Vegas and the sun was out.

How is this possible, in a flat earth scenario?
First off, the 49ers of course take their name from the settlers who spurred the Gold Rush in 1849. What the history books won't tell you is John Sutter discovered ancient nuggets of golden Asiago hidden within the crust. With a burgeoning Italian population in New York, a vast amount of money could be made mining the Asiago and selling it to the immigrants at a high price.

Second, football is a diversion from the Pie, keeping the masses impotent and dull to the coming Yeasting. That's why they call it Football. Foot-Ball. Foot being the location of the Heel, being Achilles weakness as he was shot in the heel. Combining everything we know, "Football" translates to "Shot in the balls".

Third, the 49ers suck. Go Cowboys.
 
Quick question: Any football fans here? The San Francisco 49ers were on Thursday night football last week. My question is, if the earth is flat, why was it well after dark where I live, but the sun was still out at the football game in California?

Also: Another client of mine want to Vegas last week and had that same experience as my boss... left Cincy after dark, got to Vegas and the sun was out.

How is this possible, in a flat earth scenario?
Wow the sun is out at different times in different places. That proves India went to the moon!
 
Did you know atheism is a religion?
Depends on your definition of religion. Frankly, I don't really care. Across my post, I'm mostly using "religion" to refer to christianity, though many other current major religions and historically major religions have similar problems.

For the most part I'm not intending to make statements about atheism, agnosticism pastafarianism, satanism, optimism, or many other isms.

I would think as a 21st century intellectual, our whatever you call yourself, you'd be able to figure out what I'm intending my words to mean.
 
@Draconomics Pixar knew all along. They tried to warn us!
alien-pizza-planet-iris.jpg
 
Wow the sun is out at different times in different places. That proves India went to the moon!
The sun is a portal to the what is known as the high lactose dimension. Through it, radiative energy is released to keep the Pie warm and stable. Einstein discovered it in 1906. He had already concocted his theory of relativity and tried to back pedal, but the Canadian science community, seeing a way to discount Samuel Rowbotham and spite America, propagated relativity and putting ham on pizza. The public has been asleep to the evil Canadians ever since.

#researchpizzaearth
#Canadiansareevil
#maplesyrupisalie
 
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