One day at the customs office...
“So, Mr. Doe, I see on your application for the position of Customs Inspector that you have a PhD in the identification and use of wood species.”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Did you ever obtain a degree in Being An A$$hole?”
“Why no, I didn’t.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s a prerequisite for service in the Customs Department. See, it says so right here in Section 1,976, Paragraph Two, Subsection 6 (b) (24) (iii) in the
Code of Federal Regulations and Other Stuff We Can Do To Make Your Life Miserable. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to take the required course, unless you have applicable work experience.”
“What other experience would apply?”
“Well, have you ever been, say, a prison warden?”
“No.”
“High school guidance counselor?”
“Sorry, no.”
“Drill sergeant?”
“I haven’t.”
“Terrorist?”
“Only as a hobby.”
“What about...Member...of the Spanish Inquisition?”