There's a very old joke:
"What's the definition of foreplay?
Two hours of begging that precedes two minutes of sex."
Even in the best of times, string changes here require some foreplay:
There's digging in the storage room to find the foam rubber guitar work mat with neck rest, and setting it up. There's bringing out the guitar tool bag that contains the essentials - strings, small wire cutter, electrical tester, stuff to clean the fretboard, PRS cleaner, polish if needed, microfiber cloths, blah blah blah. You know, the usual stuff!
This takes a few minutes. Fine!
But the bag doesn't have the little tools that come with the guitar. No siree, those I keep in the pick and spare string pack wallet, and there's one of those for each guitar in each guitar case. Might have to change a string away from home, right?
OK, I never actually have to do that, because I never break a string, but as a child eons ago, I was a Boy Scout, and there was that motto, Semper Paratus...
I have one guitar that PRS did in a limited run that has locking SADDLES. They're a pain in the derriere, but the guitar sounds fantastic, so I'm not messing with them. The locking saddles require a very small Allen wrench that's different in size from the usual PRS tools, and this very guitar came with just such an Allen wrench.
Yesterday this guitar required a string change. I got everything set up. No idea how long this took, but it seemed to take some time. Nonetheless, I'm ready to get started.
Wait. The little Allen wrench for the locking saddles is missing. Not in the pick case. Not in the tool bag. Not loose in the storage compartment. Not loose in the case.
Commence two hours of additional foreplay! I look everywhere. Maybe it's in the wrong case? I look through all of them. Nope. Maybe it's with the plastic envelope of stuff that comes with a PRS that I save because buyers want all that junk? Um...nope.
This goes on. I spend lots of time looking and not finding. But dammit, now I am going to change those f#cking strings if it's the last thing I do!
I finally remember: Somewhere in one of my large studio tool boxes, I have a case with a lot of Allen wrenches. I have three of these tool boxes. I look through them all. Can't find the case! Pull everything out of each tool box. At the very bottom of the last one, underneath a bag of swabs to clean tape machine heads (!) is the case with the Allen wrenches.
I have metric. I have US/Imperial. I have what seems like ten zillion Allen wrenches. Lots of them are smaller ones that get used with electronic gear. They're loose in the case. The sizes aren't marked. I start trying every small Allen wrench I have looking for one that fits.
Finally, FNALLY! After trying what seems like 50 of the damn things, I find one that actually fits the sockets of the locking screws in the saddle.
I look at my watch. A couple of hours have passed since I started my quest for the Holy Allen Wrench Grail.
The string change takes maybe five minutes because I'm going slowly.
So. What's the definition of a string change?
Five minutes of changing strings, preceded by two hours of searching...
"What's the definition of foreplay?
Two hours of begging that precedes two minutes of sex."
Even in the best of times, string changes here require some foreplay:
There's digging in the storage room to find the foam rubber guitar work mat with neck rest, and setting it up. There's bringing out the guitar tool bag that contains the essentials - strings, small wire cutter, electrical tester, stuff to clean the fretboard, PRS cleaner, polish if needed, microfiber cloths, blah blah blah. You know, the usual stuff!
This takes a few minutes. Fine!
But the bag doesn't have the little tools that come with the guitar. No siree, those I keep in the pick and spare string pack wallet, and there's one of those for each guitar in each guitar case. Might have to change a string away from home, right?
OK, I never actually have to do that, because I never break a string, but as a child eons ago, I was a Boy Scout, and there was that motto, Semper Paratus...
I have one guitar that PRS did in a limited run that has locking SADDLES. They're a pain in the derriere, but the guitar sounds fantastic, so I'm not messing with them. The locking saddles require a very small Allen wrench that's different in size from the usual PRS tools, and this very guitar came with just such an Allen wrench.
Yesterday this guitar required a string change. I got everything set up. No idea how long this took, but it seemed to take some time. Nonetheless, I'm ready to get started.
Wait. The little Allen wrench for the locking saddles is missing. Not in the pick case. Not in the tool bag. Not loose in the storage compartment. Not loose in the case.
Commence two hours of additional foreplay! I look everywhere. Maybe it's in the wrong case? I look through all of them. Nope. Maybe it's with the plastic envelope of stuff that comes with a PRS that I save because buyers want all that junk? Um...nope.
This goes on. I spend lots of time looking and not finding. But dammit, now I am going to change those f#cking strings if it's the last thing I do!
I finally remember: Somewhere in one of my large studio tool boxes, I have a case with a lot of Allen wrenches. I have three of these tool boxes. I look through them all. Can't find the case! Pull everything out of each tool box. At the very bottom of the last one, underneath a bag of swabs to clean tape machine heads (!) is the case with the Allen wrenches.
I have metric. I have US/Imperial. I have what seems like ten zillion Allen wrenches. Lots of them are smaller ones that get used with electronic gear. They're loose in the case. The sizes aren't marked. I start trying every small Allen wrench I have looking for one that fits.
Finally, FNALLY! After trying what seems like 50 of the damn things, I find one that actually fits the sockets of the locking screws in the saddle.
I look at my watch. A couple of hours have passed since I started my quest for the Holy Allen Wrench Grail.
The string change takes maybe five minutes because I'm going slowly.
So. What's the definition of a string change?
Five minutes of changing strings, preceded by two hours of searching...
