Scoring you own funeral

veinbuster said:
I didn’t find planning a funeral that stressful in the few times I’ve done it. Perhaps only because I didn’t have a family member arguing with me about how it should go. I probably overspent a bit, each time.

The first: there was lots of warning, though the end was sudden. The warning allowed time to understand the wishes of the deceased and service them.

The second: unexpected, but in casual conversation well in advance, I came to understand the wishes of the deceased and see them through. Two family members disagreed (another path was more convenient and to them made sense). I just told them I had explicitly asked and was doing what my mom said she wanted. They could have made it stressful, but chose not to.

The third: completely unexpected and a very short time line. And annoying Covid restrictions. When I got a 3 month warning, I visited a couple of places to get a sense of options. 3 months became 3 weeks, so lots of quick decisions to pull something together. Honestly, I was probably better off doing this than sitting on my butt being sad.

This isn’t to say not having a funeral is wrong. That label isn’t that important to me. I do think a conscious acknowledgment of the passing of someone you care about has value. Sharing that acknowledgment can be beneficial. We are a social species.
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Don't get me wrong on this. We spent time with family all together after the passing. The less stress part is that we didn't have to all go through the planning and visitations that we did with my parents. That is the stressful part. The service was also stressful. We found it much less stressful to be able to spend time with the closer family members reminiscing about old times. It was a much more positive experience, which I think all of them would rather have seen if they were still there to see it.
 
I take solace knowing I won’t have anything to do with my funeral.

I won’t be buried in full drag, they won’t hand out puppies to cat people and kittens to dog people. There will be no pressure plate under the knelling pad that triggers a sample of me whispering “I never liked you” or “Help! I’m still alive”, and they won’t play Slayer.

The only thing I can hope for is that I die while trying to blow a fireball while standing in a dumpster filled with old tires.
 
veinbuster said:
Two threads headed me in this direction: the writing one and the played this week one.

And, a good friend's mom is literally on her death bed.

So I sat down and recorded a quick version of a song I have always liked, but never really listened beyond the vocals - which are captivating. Guitar was the highlight of last week in the 'what are you playing' thread.

Then I started contemplating what might be good for myself. Not that I expect to know or care after I'm dead, but every choice I make in advance has potential to make the whole thing easier for whoever is left behind. I could be wrong though. Putting together a slide show with music for my wife was good therapy.

Anyway, I started playing the mood that I thought would be appropriate and may formalize that into a soundtrack for visuals I have already gathered. I'm contemplating two different collections. One somber and thoughtful. One more upbeat and fun - wakeish if you like.

Feel free to tell me its a terrible idea. Or too morbid.
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Well done. Really.

I don't know what works at funerals; I suppose that'd be different for everyone. But I loved the emotion in this.
 
sergiodeblanc said:
I take solace knowing I won’t have anything to do with my funeral.

I won’t be buried in full drag, they won’t hand out puppies to cat people and kittens to dog people. There will be no pressure plate under the knelling pad that triggers a sample of me whispering “I never liked you” or “Help! I’m still alive”, and they won’t play Slayer.

The only thing I can hope for is that I die while trying to blow a fireball while standing in a dumpster filled with old tires.
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I will show up with the biggest boombox I can find and blast Reign In Blood doing my best John Cusack in Say Anything.
 
LSchefman said:
Highway to Hell would definitely be most apropos of my funeral, if I believed in Hell. I don't.

But if Hell exists (outside of the two towns in the US with that name), I'm certainly going to be headed there when my earthly life ends!

;)
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My son is really into “The Lord” now.

He told me heaven has electric guitars at dinner tonight.
 
Hey there, I'm sorry to hear about your friend's mom. I think it's a pretty interesting idea, though, to create your own funeral soundtrack. Death is an inevitable part of life, so there's nothing morbid about wanting to leave a specific impression or mood behind. Preparing two collections, one somber and one more upbeat, sounds like a good idea as well. It'll give people who attend your funeral a chance to experience both emotions, and it could help make the grieving process easier for them. By the way, have you thought of any Flat Headstone Ideas? That could be another cool way to personalize your funeral.
 
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