Sometimes my fans get their way, and as a result, I've agreed to do a series of concerts!
Tonight I kicked off the tour with a sold-out show in my living room. My girl friend bought the ticket. Well, actually, she loaned me some money to go buy strings. And she fixed a small tear in my puffy shirt and loaned me a few bucks for a hat with a big brim.
I figured that entitled her to the ticket.
Everything was going great during the part where I tune the guitar and tell the audience a few funny stories about my past, but as I got to the sixth tuning peg, my audience said she had to go watch Dancing With The Stars.
Yeah, apparently she'd bought the ticket a while back, and couldn't return it. I don't know, I don't watch much TV, I didn't realize that cable charged extra for that show.
Unfortunately, the noise from the TV spoiled the purity of my concert, so I had to really play loud. But I finally had to stop because she got mad and said I was disturbing her.
Tough crowd!
But I still got through my repertoire of 30 second guitar tone demos, including a complete run-through of all of my different kinds of picks. I think if my audience had stuck around, she'd have enjoyed the show. Fortunately, it was an acoustic show, so loading out was pretty easy. I managed somehow to get the guitar into the case without a roadie. My living room is small enough that I didn't need to put the guitar into an airplane to get it back to the room I keep it in, so I didn't have to worry about damaging it in flight.
My next concert is scheduled for Sunday. This time I'll have a better audience: my mom. She's always very supportive. Which is great, because I plan to do the show in her basement. She hasn't exactly bought the ticket yet, and for some reason her phone doesn't seem to work, because she isn't answering my calls, so I need to check on that.
You know, even though she's 89, she always has a kind word for me after a show. Like, "You have to play louder, I am a little hard of hearing." Imagine an audience asking for you to play louder at a show, huh? That's so great. I love when that happens.
She has all of my albums. Really! Because I keep all 20 boxes of unsold CDs at her place. Maybe I can get her to buy another CD and some merch at the show. I have to find some merch, I guess. I can always make a sock puppet with one of my old summer camp socks with a name tag sewn on. Fans love handmade merch. Especially handmade antique merch from 1965!
I'd bring a PA for her, but my girl friend says she's over being my roadie, which I don't really understand but whatever. It's her car, she can do what she wants. Well, technically, it's her PA, too, because I haven't paid her back for it yet.
Anyway, I'll let you all know when my tour stops in your area, or your part of the world.
Meanwhile, let your life be like, oh, I dunno...uh...like...cherry bombs and rainbows!
Lesteban
Tonight I kicked off the tour with a sold-out show in my living room. My girl friend bought the ticket. Well, actually, she loaned me some money to go buy strings. And she fixed a small tear in my puffy shirt and loaned me a few bucks for a hat with a big brim.
I figured that entitled her to the ticket.
Everything was going great during the part where I tune the guitar and tell the audience a few funny stories about my past, but as I got to the sixth tuning peg, my audience said she had to go watch Dancing With The Stars.
Yeah, apparently she'd bought the ticket a while back, and couldn't return it. I don't know, I don't watch much TV, I didn't realize that cable charged extra for that show.
Unfortunately, the noise from the TV spoiled the purity of my concert, so I had to really play loud. But I finally had to stop because she got mad and said I was disturbing her.
Tough crowd!
But I still got through my repertoire of 30 second guitar tone demos, including a complete run-through of all of my different kinds of picks. I think if my audience had stuck around, she'd have enjoyed the show. Fortunately, it was an acoustic show, so loading out was pretty easy. I managed somehow to get the guitar into the case without a roadie. My living room is small enough that I didn't need to put the guitar into an airplane to get it back to the room I keep it in, so I didn't have to worry about damaging it in flight.
My next concert is scheduled for Sunday. This time I'll have a better audience: my mom. She's always very supportive. Which is great, because I plan to do the show in her basement. She hasn't exactly bought the ticket yet, and for some reason her phone doesn't seem to work, because she isn't answering my calls, so I need to check on that.
You know, even though she's 89, she always has a kind word for me after a show. Like, "You have to play louder, I am a little hard of hearing." Imagine an audience asking for you to play louder at a show, huh? That's so great. I love when that happens.
She has all of my albums. Really! Because I keep all 20 boxes of unsold CDs at her place. Maybe I can get her to buy another CD and some merch at the show. I have to find some merch, I guess. I can always make a sock puppet with one of my old summer camp socks with a name tag sewn on. Fans love handmade merch. Especially handmade antique merch from 1965!
I'd bring a PA for her, but my girl friend says she's over being my roadie, which I don't really understand but whatever. It's her car, she can do what she wants. Well, technically, it's her PA, too, because I haven't paid her back for it yet.
Anyway, I'll let you all know when my tour stops in your area, or your part of the world.
Meanwhile, let your life be like, oh, I dunno...uh...like...cherry bombs and rainbows!
Lesteban
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