De-Acquisition Mode - I'm Hearing That A Lot Lately.

ruger9 said:
I had to reply to this.

I came to a point in my life where I had to decide: stay with the woman I loved and marry her, or move to Nashville to continue trying to "make it" (at that time, Nashville was the hot bed... NY and LA had dried up for the most part. Austin was cooking, but no way I could stand the heat... Nashville is bad enough LOL).

I decided to put "life" before "career". I suffered a job I hated for 13 years, then started my own company, which I also learned to hate quickly, for another 15 years. I never loved my work. On my best days, I liked it "enough." But I actually wrote a letter to myself, and I titled it "I don't need music to save my life." I had a GREAT wife, GREAT friends, great social life. While my dad had passed, I still had my mom and siblings, my wife's family is great. I gave up music for several years, I mountain biked, backpacked, became a runner, got into firearms, went on great vacations (nothing expensive; no trips to Europe... just magical places we could drive to every year, that became magical because of the COMPANY. I wouldn't trade those trips for anything.). I loved my life.

As time went on, subconsciously, doing something I did not love started to eat away at me. It culminated with me having a mid-life crisis at 51. Alot of other stuff happened simultaneously: mom diagnosed with cancer, best friend cancer, sister in law cancer, wife aneurysm, dog got sick and died... it's been a rough few years around here. Wife is fine BTW.). But during the lockdowns, I went into a very dark place. Started questioning my life decisions. It was scary, truly scary.

Long story short (if it's not already too late for that LOL): I do not regret "giving up" on professional music and marrying my wife. I still consider it the best decision I ever made. Decisions have consequences, and I've had to learn to live with them. I am very fortunate... I have people who love me, I am not totally healthy (I have active Lyme disease, foot problems, fatty liver, EBV reactivation, am unable to exercise due to the foot).... but I realize things could be worse (my best friend is undergoing her 3rd round of chemo for a cancer that keeps returning). My wife's aneurysm was surgically repaired, she's fine. However, back to the music thing...

I realized that, in a way, I DO need music to save my life. It's simply who I am. I don't have to be a professional musician, but I have to be immersed in music. Listening to it constantly, playing it as often as possible. Just before the lockdowns I formed a band with some old friends, and not only are we still going strong today, the once a week we practice is like my weekly therapy. We don't gig that often, but the "Tuesday night music club" has surely saved me to some degree. IDK what I'll do when the band comes to an end.... but I'll have to figure something out.

This mimics my father: he wanted to be a pilot since he was a young boy, and when he got out of the Navy after WWII, he did become a pilot. He also began building his own airplanes. He did it his whole life. Take a few years to build one, fly it several years, sell it for a profit, build another. He needed FLYING to save his life... he was a construction electrician for most of his life. He didn't love it, but he didn't look at it that way... he married the woman he loved, they had children, and you take care of your family. He wasn't bitter about it; he was happy to have a well-paying, steady job to provide for his family. And he could afford to indulge in his flying hobby. That made him happy. I do remember conversations where he said if he had it to do all over again, maybe he would have become a commercial airline pilot, but that's not really the kind of flying he loved, and of course he wouldn't trade his family for anything, in hindsight.

I guess it all boils down to:

If you love what you have, you have everything you need.
Click to expand...

Thanks to everyone that felt moved or related to my story. What’s fascinating to me is that regardless of how long or short your stories have been, each of you have shared so many of the facets of man and music (females equally included). Seems like each of us has experienced a part(s) of the whole and our collective knowledge and experiences just shows how DEEPLY music and music instruments/gear resonates with our innermost being. The short story is as quoted above:
I realized that, in a way, I DO need music to save my life. It's simply who I am. I don't have to be a professional musician, but I have to be immersed in music. Listening to it constantly, playing it as often as possible.
Click to expand...
Like many of you have shared, I too have musician friends who “set aside” their musical pursuits, their passion for playing an instrument. They instead went down that “American Dream” pathway, college, romance, decent jobs, marriage, house with the white picket fence, children, family, grandchildren, more family, etc. Those of us who are in our late 50’s to early 60’s, the children are typically gone to live their lives…and the opportunity to rekindle those flames of repressed feelings and love for playing an instrument, being in a weekend or monthly band, etc. Perhaps not all of it, but a pleasing portion of your innermost musician is free to fly again.

I was born in 1963 and when I started watching The Monkees, that’s when a switch clicked on inside of me and I “knew” I wanted to be a guitarist and perform live. My father owned and played several Instruments as well and would get together every so often to jam around on old classic country songs with his other musical buddies. Watching them play in the living room only fanned the flames of my musical side. Those flames turned into an uncontrollable inferno…all of “me” (and I mean ALL) became psychologically obsessed with music, playing guitar, keyboards, violin. All self taught by ear and a few Mel Bay chord books. My parents became concerned about just how “driven” I was about music and instruments. Every waking moment was spent learning how to play instruments, in particular, the electric guitar. I would daydream all day in school about being a famous musician. I would sketch images of guitars instead of doing my homework. There literally was NO WAY TO TURN ME OFF. I was on auto-pilot and there were NO DISTRACTIONS which could capture my attention away from music and playing.

I was in 5th grade when I started telling my parents “I’m never getting married or having children, because they would only be unwanted distractions.” My parents replied “You’re too young to know that or even think that” but boy were they wrong. My passion, perseverance, determination, and flat out stubbornness kept me laser focused on music and guitar. By Junior High, I had formed my first band and by my Senior Year had formed a much better band. I had a high school sweetheart I really loved and dated for 3.5 years. I thought she was on board with my musical goals until the day she gave me an ultimatum. She said I must decide, it’s either her or my band. I replied there’s no reason I couldn’t have both and that giving me an ultimatum like that was unfair. But she was determined. So as we stood outside her parents house, she said, “So what’s it going to be, me or your band?” Without hesitation, I replied “MY BAND” and I turned and walked away. She came running after me yelling “That’s not what you’re supposed to say.”

Anyway, I have very few “true” regrets following my heart and love for all things musical. I didn’t end up where I dreamed I would but I take pride in knowing that I didn’t compromise along the way. Some pathways we may take in life lead us on a unique journey and towards inevitable outcomes. But it was still all worth it.
 
I Am Telling You All That The Way This De-Acquisition Bull$hit Works Is To Run Out Of Money. Nothing Else Solves It And If You Do By Chance Slow Down On Gear You Will Find Something Else And Most Likely It Will Cost More.
 
Bogner said:
I Am Telling You All That The Way This De-Acquisition Bull$hit Works Is To Run Out Of Money. Nothing Else Solves It And If You Do By Chance Slow Down On Gear You Will Find Something Else And Most Likely It Will Cost More.
Click to expand...
I don't know man... I seem to have found a different formula. I have more money than I've ever had in my life, but haven't bought a guitar in a couple years. My wife is in full blown "scale down for retirement mode." And I am "mostly" on board. I want a few guitars and a few amps, but don't need any of it. Don't play half the guitars I have now and thus SHOULD be in de-acquisition mode. Just keep putting it off. I did sell one guitar in the last two years but have 3 more I've meant to sell and never done anything but offer them to friends and if they pass, I let it set.

That said, there are a few things I'd REALLY like to at least try and IF I fall in love, might buy. But I stopped chasing things, so I haven't played a Santana, or 594SC, or a few of the Louis Electric amps, or Splawn, or bigger Bogners...
 
DreamTheaterRules said:
I'm sensing a pattern here. A complete lack of commitment. In this instance, I approve! ;)
Click to expand...

Well, I can console myself that I sold a Gibson and ordered a PRS......:):):):):)


.......and a little SSL desk, another S-type, a second FTT reverb pedal, and a whole bunch of tubes.....



Anyhow, at least I'm intending to head in the right direction :rolleyes:
 
Try as I might , when I see a gorgeous guitar at a great price , it's near impossible to say no . Once they get proficient my grandsons are in for a real treat as they get older .. 15 really sweet instruments each and some great amps. Wish my parents/grands had been so nice....
 
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why I prefer the company of guitars....​


.Guitars will never leave you , and are ALWAYS there to comfort you
  • Guitars don’t whine… unless you want them to.
  • You can share your Guitar with your friends.
  • Guitars don’t care how many other Guitars you’ve played
  • Guitars don’t care how many other Guitars you have.
  • Guitars don’t care if you look at other Guitars.
  • Guitars don’t care if you buy Guitar magazines.
  • Your Guitar doesn’t care if you never listen to it.
  • Your Guitar won’t care if you leave up the toilet seat.
  • If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don’t have to apologize before you play it again.
  • You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
  • You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won’t get frustrated.
  • Guitars don’t get headaches.
  • Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars...well maybe ...
  • Guitars don’t care if you’re late.
  • If your Guitar doesn’t look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
  • Your guitar is always happy when you buy it nice things
  • You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
  • When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.
  • You can mute your Guitar and it won’t complain.

​

 
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Nathan Shane said:
Thanks to everyone that felt moved or related to my story. What’s fascinating to me is that regardless of how long or short your stories have been, each of you have shared so many of the facets of man and music (females equally included). Seems like each of us has experienced a part(s) of the whole and our collective knowledge and experiences just shows how DEEPLY music and music instruments/gear resonates with our innermost being. The short story is as quoted above:

Like many of you have shared, I too have musician friends who “set aside” their musical pursuits, their passion for playing an instrument. They instead went down that “American Dream” pathway, college, romance, decent jobs, marriage, house with the white picket fence, children, family, grandchildren, more family, etc. Those of us who are in our late 50’s to early 60’s, the children are typically gone to live their lives…and the opportunity to rekindle those flames of repressed feelings and love for playing an instrument, being in a weekend or monthly band, etc. Perhaps not all of it, but a pleasing portion of your innermost musician is free to fly again.

I was born in 1963 and when I started watching The Monkees, that’s when a switch clicked on inside of me and I “knew” I wanted to be a guitarist and perform live. My father owned and played several Instruments as well and would get together every so often to jam around on old classic country songs with his other musical buddies. Watching them play in the living room only fanned the flames of my musical side. Those flames turned into an uncontrollable inferno…all of “me” (and I mean ALL) became psychologically obsessed with music, playing guitar, keyboards, violin. All self taught by ear and a few Mel Bay chord books. My parents became concerned about just how “driven” I was about music and instruments. Every waking moment was spent learning how to play instruments, in particular, the electric guitar. I would daydream all day in school about being a famous musician. I would sketch images of guitars instead of doing my homework. There literally was NO WAY TO TURN ME OFF. I was on auto-pilot and there were NO DISTRACTIONS which could capture my attention away from music and playing.

I was in 5th grade when I started telling my parents “I’m never getting married or having children, because they would only be unwanted distractions.” My parents replied “You’re too young to know that or even think that” but boy were they wrong. My passion, perseverance, determination, and flat out stubbornness kept me laser focused on music and guitar. By Junior High, I had formed my first band and by my Senior Year had formed a much better band. I had a high school sweetheart I really loved and dated for 3.5 years. I thought she was on board with my musical goals until the day she gave me an ultimatum. She said I must decide, it’s either her or my band. I replied there’s no reason I couldn’t have both and that giving me an ultimatum like that was unfair. But she was determined. So as we stood outside her parents house, she said, “So what’s it going to be, me or your band?” Without hesitation, I replied “MY BAND” and I turned and walked away. She came running after me yelling “That’s not what you’re supposed to say.”

Anyway, I have very few “true” regrets following my heart and love for all things musical. I didn’t end up where I dreamed I would but I take pride in knowing that I didn’t compromise along the way. Some pathways we may take in life lead us on a unique journey and towards inevitable outcomes. But it was still all worth it.
Click to expand...
Reading this made me feel like I needed to share what happened last night. I was talking to my wife about a couple of PRS Studio guitars I am looking at. These are the first guitars that have excited me enough to think about buying a new one is about 5 years. As part of that conversation she tells me that she would really like to see me get out and start using my guitars again. I asked her to add more detail to that statement. She said she wants to see me playing for crowds of people again. She sees how much I love it and she loves watching me do it. She has been my biggest band groupie for many years. She comes to all of my gigs and most of the practices. She has to genuinely love it because she has voluntarily showed up to almost as much of it has I have. :) Now I am thinking of how I want the playing situation to look like. I am in my late 50's and would like to not be up all night on the weekend and have to flip back to work my day job during the week.
 
DreamTheaterRules said:
I don't know man... I seem to have found a different formula. I have more money than I've ever had in my life, but haven't bought a guitar in a couple years. My wife is in full blown "scale down for retirement mode." And I am "mostly" on board. I want a few guitars and a few amps, but don't need any of it. Don't play half the guitars I have now and thus SHOULD be in de-acquisition mode. Just keep putting it off. I did sell one guitar in the last two years but have 3 more I've meant to sell and never done anything but offer them to friends and if they pass, I let it set.

That said, there are a few things I'd REALLY like to at least try and IF I fall in love, might buy. But I stopped chasing things, so I haven't played a Santana, or 594SC, or a few of the Louis Electric amps, or Splawn, or bigger Bogners...
Click to expand...
"Mostly" On Board Isn't On Board At All...So...You Aren't In De-Acquisition Made At All...You Are Fighting It And Delaying It And Truly Deep Down You Want More Stuff, You Are Just Afraid Of The Backhand The Wife Will Deliver If You Gave In To Your Desires And Followed Through On Your Wants. ;) "Need" Is Not Part Of This Conversation As Few Of Us Here Truly "Need" Anything.

"Mostly" "Don't Need" "Should" "Putting It Off" "Meant To Sell" "Let It Set" ....LOL

Come On Man... ;)
 
Bogner said:
"Mostly" On Board Isn't On Board At All...So...You Aren't In De-Acquisition Made At All...You Are Fighting It And Delaying It And Truly Deep Down You Want More Stuff, You Are Just Afraid Of The Backhand The Wife Will Deliver If You Gave In To Your Desires And Followed Through On Your Wants. ;) "Need" Is Not Part Of This Conversation As Few Of Us Here Truly "Need" Anything.

"Mostly" "Don't Need" "Should" "Putting It Off" "Meant To Sell" "Let It Set" ....LOL

Come On Man... ;)
Click to expand...

ok, you've seen right through me. "mostly on board" means... I want stuff! But I'm going along with my wife because she has worked hard and deserves her retirement. I am ok with slowing down on the "luxury purchases" if that's what it takes to make her comfortable.

Not to get too serious, but she grew up very poor, and has done very well for herself but is getting stressed to the breaking point at work due to some very unusual circumstances, so her needs are way more important than my wants. And yes, I could drop $10K on a 594 and a Louis Electric Cobra tomorrow and she wouldn't miss the money at all. But my business has slowed significantly and I'm cool with laying low for a while. My income will go back up when the market improves and more "extra cash" will be coming in, and I'll re-evaluate then.
 
JasonE said:
Reading this made me feel like I needed to share what happened last night. I was talking to my wife about a couple of PRS Studio guitars I am looking at. These are the first guitars that have excited me enough to think about buying a new one is about 5 years. As part of that conversation she tells me that she would really like to see me get out and start using my guitars again. I asked her to add more detail to that statement. She said she wants to see me playing for crowds of people again. She sees how much I love it and she loves watching me do it. She has been my biggest band groupie for many years. She comes to all of my gigs and most of the practices. She has to genuinely love it because she has voluntarily showed up to almost as much of it has I have. :) Now I am thinking of how I want the playing situation to look like. I am in my late 50's and would like to not be up all night on the weekend and have to flip back to work my day job during the week.
Click to expand...

Well, if you're gigging Fridays and especially Saturdays, getting home at 2am isn't too big a deal. Depending on work situation, getting to the gig after work on a friday and setting up might be a little tight.

We practice Tuesdays, I get home by midnight at the latest (it's 45min away from me). Once a week isn't a big deal. We only gig on Fridays and Saturdays precisely because we all have day jobs, we are doing this for the love of it and the fun. If it's not fun, there's no point. If you keep it light, keep it fun, a band can easily co-exist with a day job. Progress might be a little slower, but who's in a hurry? Just lay down one ground rule: if it starts getting stressful, you're out. Period. Keep it light and fun. Life is too short for any more drama, especially at our age (I am 54).

BTW my wife is also a big supporter of the project. We even went on a vacation trip to Key West together- the whole band and our significant others. Great time.
 
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