Confidence

[BigChrisW]

I've been a musician for as long as I can remember (I'm 54 now). Started on drums at six and took up the trombone at 7. Found the guitar after my sister received one for Christmas when I was about 14 ("whatever you do, don't let Chris get hold of it" - quote from my sister). I'm naturally quite musical and have a good ear for melody. I took to the guitar immediately and, aided by the passion of bands like The Alarm and Big Country, headed into a life of obsessive guitar playing. I've had some of my best experiences with a guitar in my hand and played some amazing gigs. I'm ok at it; good enough to entertain a pub full of drunken customers singing along to the songs my band (Milky Joe) chooses to play.

The thing is, and maybe I'm not alone, is my confidence takes a nose dive on a regular basis. Recording is a nightmare for me as I can't relax and let it flow; I'm the same in a gig if I know there are other guitar players in the audience. I'm terrible in a music shop... I sound like a beginner! Is this normal? I think it's basically imposter syndrome and it hits me hard in all walks of life. What a shame!

The purpose of this post is not to garner sympathy but to remind me that I should enjoy my guitar playing just because I'm alive and still able to enjoy it! It's too easy to overlook the fun that I have and the enjoyment I give to others through my guitar playing and singing. I'm fortunate that I own some lovely guitars and other related gear and I still get out to play regularly. Even if I didn't get out to play I can spend a happy hour or two simply noodling.

To hell with moments of doubt; I will enjoy my guitars and all that they bring!

(this post is sponsored by whisky)

 

[László]

Happens to me all the time!

I've been playing forever, but I'm trained on piano, and played it since 4. On piano, pure confidence. On guitar, pure 'OMG-I'm-Gonna-Screw-Up'!

The worst part is that clients occasionally come to sessions. If I'm alone in the studio, easy-peasy. If anyone's around...uh-oh.

(this post sponsored by a cheeseburger I shouldn't have had)

 

[Frank McNerney]

I can’t play at all if I even think someone is listening
Some people call it performance anxiety
Some people call it “choking”
I can’t argue either

 

[bodia]

Same boat. If my wife walks in the room, I’ll stop. I go local forum members houses and barley play. I’m in my head.

BTW….this reply sponsored by gin?

 

[Mr bean]

I have this too but my source could be different than yours and my solutions might not work for you.

My fear of failure took root as an infant while being raised by an alcoholic = insecurities galore and self esteem issues that almost never subside.
Add ADHD and you have a pretty bad situation.

Fast forward 60 years.
I have done some reading and have had some light counselling; enough to know the source of my issues.

Once you know the source you become more aware of it’s presence.

With meditation I am ‘this close’ to being able to intercept the negative voices regularly and go about my day in a more Zen like way.
Meditation has also taught me to recognize physical cues like tight neck muscles and irregular breathing.

That’s all I have so far but…so far so good.
Good Luck.

Sorry…musically it has helped me calm my learning enough that I have made some pretty good progress since I retired 3 years ago.
It doesn’t hurt that I love practicing cause it keeps me Zen.
It also doesn’t hurt that I quit drinking and got off the THC.

Now I’m done.

 

[BigChrisW]

I have this too but my source could be different than yours and my solutions might not work for you.

My fear of failure took root as an infant while being raised by an alcoholic = insecurities galore and self esteem issues that almost never subside.
Add ADHD and you have a pretty bad situation.

Fast forward 60 years.
I have done some reading and have had some light counselling; enough to know the source of my issues.

Once you know the source you become more aware of it’s presence.

With meditation I am ‘this close’ to being able to intercept the negative voices regularly and go about my day in a more Zen like way.
Meditation has also taught me to recognize physical cues like tight neck muscles and irregular breathing.

That’s all I have so far but…so far so good.
Good Luck.

Sorry…musically it has helped me calm my learning enough that I have made some pretty good progress since I retired 3 years ago.
It doesn’t hurt that I love practicing cause it keeps me Zen.
It also doesn’t hurt that I quit drinking and got off the THC.

Now I’m done.

Thank you!

 

[veinbuster]

BTW….this reply sponsored by gin?

Are you afraid you’ll lose the sponsorship?

 

[László]

I can’t play at all if I even think someone is listening
Some people call it performance anxiety
Some people call it “choking”
I can’t argue either

Same boat. If my wife walks in the room, I’ll stop. I go local forum members houses and barley play. I’m in my head.

BTW….this reply sponsored by gin?

In the day of amp stacks, I played keys in a band with a fantastic guitar player who could not face the audience and play. He'd literally go hide behind the amps.

Let's face it, performing in front of people can be challenging. The more you do it, the easier it gets, but there's that initial hurdle: we judge ourselves, and we think we're gonna be judged by others. And we get that feeling of. 'better not try this'.

I have an 11 year old granddaughter who does professional musical theater, and gets good roles. 11! Last summer she did a tap dance in a talent show for the kids at her camp, but she had just started tap a few weeks before.

I said, "Gee, I'm surprised you didn't sing one of the songs from your shows; you're just starting out in tap."

She said, "So what! None of them can do it."

Out of the mouths of babes...

Playing in front of people I now tell myself, "So what, none of them can do it."

 

[sergiodeblanc]

"So what, none of them can do it."

Except when they do!

Lol! Man, I can’t tell you how many times my sphincter contracted when looking out into the crowd or to the side of the stage to see who was watching me.

My old hip hop outfit was the worst for this stuff.

 

[RickP]

I always remind myself that the audience wants to be entertained. They want you to do good. Sure, you get the occasional ass with his own confidence issues shouting “Free Bird” after every song, but you can rest assured the crowd ain’t loving that guy. Otherwise, they’re on your side and ready to be taken for a ride. You just join in their fun instead of taking it all on yourself. We are always our worst critic, and biggest source of doubt. I try to put myself in the audience mind space and play what I can that I think I’d like to hear Out there. Smile, have fun, laugh off mistakes… even the best make them.

The more you do it, the better you get.

 

[László]

Except when they do!

They don't. I create my music and my parts.

They can't do what I do the way I do it.

"Oh sure, tell yourself that, Les."

"I do. It's how I get myself through the day!"

 

[sergiodeblanc]

They don't. I create my music and my parts.

They can't do what I do the way I do it.

"Oh sure, tell yourself that, Les."

"I do. It's how I get myself through the day!"

You know what I meant.

 

[Ovibos]

I was just telling some inexperienced band mates this last night:

You know when you’ve f’d up, but 98% of the audience doesn’t. I am so critical of myself - I come offstage and my wife says “that was great!” while I’m like “I forgot this line, my voice cracked, that solo sucked, we didn’t stop together”. She’s not blowing smoke; she heard none of that.

‘Fake it til you make it’ is real. If you can pretend to have confidence, then you’re selling that it’s good. And then it will become good.

 

[aphantomvaper]

"Just remember everyone is here to have a good time. But if they smell fear, they'll want blood!"

Words before stage performance that rings in my head every time.

 

[bodia]

Are you afraid you’ll lose the sponsorship?

Nah. I slurred enough in my post that I think I’m safe.

 

[Involt]

I think it's basically imposter syndrome and it hits me hard in all walks of life. What a shame!

Really! If you want to bring a syndrome into, turn to the Dunning Kruger effect: the less confident you are, the smarter you are

 

[JasonE]

I used to get performance anxiety but there came a point in time after having it many times that I realized almost nobody watching could tell if I made a mistake or they didn't care that I did. I started focusing more on building a stage presence to be more entertaining. That helps sell things even if you do make a mistake.

As far as music shop playing, I have never really been great at that. I don't like doing it but I will if I really want to check out a piece of gear. Depending what the gear is, I can usually figure out what I need to know without trying to get too fancy. I have occasionally ended up doing some jamming with another guitarist just for fun. That showed me that people like to watch and listen even in a music store. I still don't do it often but I do when I need to. There is a thing that some friends of mine call Guitar Center Syndrome. That syndrome makes those that are lower on the learning ladder play louder than those higher on it. It is a strange thing but I have definitely noticed it to be true.

After so many gigs I just got to the point where I didn't care if one person in the room thought they were a better guitar player than me. I was the one playing the gig, not them. If the made friends with me, I would let them come up and play a few songs on my guitar. I get asked to do this all the time. That was another area that I had to get over this anxiety thing. I decided one day that if someone asked me to come up and play I would just do it. I have had fun every time I have done it so why not? I try to get into the song and interacting with the rest of the band. That seems to work for me. It doesn't hurt when everyone watching gives you a big applause after each song.

 

[László]

You know what I meant.

Yup! You know what I meant, too.

 

[Alnus Rubra]

I love gigging, I lose myself in the moment.

Recording not so much. However when I recorded the vocal track for PRSWill, I tried to lose myself in the moment again.

Music shop playing, I always forget everything I can play. Who needs to go to a shop to buy a guitar now anyway?

 

[Birdsofprey]

I’m awesome at the music shop, Sandman, Smoke on the Water and I usually finish up with Stairway you know for the ladies.