Interviewer: "Lesteban, why don't you bring a spare amp to a gig?"
Lesteban: "I started gigging in 1965. I've owned an awful lot of amps that I've used on gigs and sessions. Not one has ever gone bad or so much as blown a fuse! We are, after all, talking a half a century of my experience with tube amplifiers here. They are very reliable devices. I don't bring a spare car to gigs, either.
Did you see spare amps at a Beatles show? Take a look, videos of Beatles shows are all over YouTube. No spare amps. Hendrix - no spare amps! Cream, no spare amps.
And if you've gotta take spare amps, what about spare pedals? What if a drunk spills poo on your pedals? You see where I'm going with this. It's a slippery slope, starting with spare amps. Soon you'll need to take spare amp covers, spare road cases. What if the power goes out? Spare generator."
Interviewer: "That's fine for some, Lesteban, but have you thought about professionalism? Don't you worry about how your audience would feel if your rig did go down for the count?"
Lesteban: "The audience would no doubt be very relieved that I stopped playing. I don't bring a spare guitar, either...Fifty years of audiences just wishing that something would make me stop. All disappointed that it hasn't happened."
Interviewer? "Wait...you're saying...that your audiences hate your music? Then why do you bother playing?"
Lesteban: "I am by nature a sadist."
Interviewer: "And your audiences?"
Lesteban: "Well, it takes all kinds, obviously. Some are simply too polite to throw vegetables. Some are my relatives. And there are people who enjoy pain. Serious music lovers do not attend my shows. They attend actual concerts."
Interviewer: "If your amp did go down, would you return the venue's money?"
Lesteban: "Pardon me? Did you mean to imply that venues pay...money...for this? In advance? You are hysterically funny, interview person. By the way, I just stole your wallet."