stuffs just wearing out even if the desire is just as strong.
The physiology of music seems to be unpredictable, and I felt a genuine sadness in your story. My teacher [I should say mentor] and I discuss this as well, in the context of practice. Still, there are times when there is nothing you can do.
I've had physical issues relating to music. There was a labrum tear in my right shoulder that took me off the drums, so I gravitated to guitar.
There was another time, when I had ended up with Tendinitis, thanks to a workstation that was designed by an artist instead of ergonomic engineers. I was drumming with some guitar players, when I dropped a stick. I went to pick it up, and it fell right out of my hand. I had no grip. Physical therapy was helping, but I feared that I would never return.
I ended up going to a meet-and-greet, where Premier drums had Marilyn Manson drummer Ginger Fish, autographing posters. When the crowd died down, I approached him and told him about my story. He owed me nothing, and yet we spent 90 minutes talking about warm-ups, stretches, and ideas on what I could do to get back into the game. I found anti-vibe sticks, did as he said, stuck to my workers' comp therapy routine, and got back into the game after about a year, with full power returning in about three years.
My focus is on guitar these days, because of the physical toll associated with lugging gear around and playing.
A friend of mine, a hard-hitting pro drummer, got the news that he had a heart condition and needed to "take it easy." He did not want to take it easy, and had been active his entire life. At his next gig, he blasted the hell out of those drums, until he died from cardiac arrest. He was six months older than me. Because of this, my wife isn't too keen on me drumming again. He was also into playing guitar, and had custom guitar picks made. He gave me one over 20 years ago, and I always keep it in my pocket. I saw one on Ebay for $100, but there is nothing that could get me to part with it.
To tie this in with the psychology of it all, I know that there is a chance where something could start going wrong, I'll have to stop, and there will be nothing that I can do about it. In the back of my mind, I sometimes wonder if I would be prepared for that.