The Psychology of Guitar

GuitarDrummer

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Some of you may remember when I said that I am afraid to play a guitar in the music store. Since then, I've seen one other person declare this, so I thought that maybe a thread on the psychology of guitar might be interesting. We'll see.

There was some simple advice given, which was "do not care what others think." It's good advice, but the issue is complicated, so I think it's worth a thread. Not caring can be as difficult as the Buddhist not desiring. Do not desire to not desire.

I've also experienced some issues with learning guitar, from how to learn, to how to practice, to how to think about the guitar. If others are interested in this type of thread, then I'll get into more detail about those issues and what I've learned.

At the same time, I'm interested in learning from others.

What issues have you encountered that are related to guitar? From learning to performance, and anything between. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts, because I never became a worse person for knowing more.
 
time, motivation, frustration...

I know I'll never be as good as the players that inspire me...I've spent my life learning about my profession, not the guitar as they have ===> frustration that I don't "sound like my guitar heroes"

Remarried a little over a year ago, 5 kids of our own now and ya never know how many others. Trying to start a new business. Studying for a board exam. So finding time for quality practice when my mind is into it is difficult. ===>time and motivation ... where is it??

I get the trepidation playing in a store. It's easier said than done, but I like to remember the book title "Your Opinion of me is None of my Business". It helps:)
 
Definitely an interesting subject. I find that with age I care less about what other people think :) I believe it's also due to learning this lesson in OTHER areas of life, which then spills over to the "playing guitar in the store" area. Like, if you're afraid to play in the store, learn to speak your mind at work... Stuff like that...
 
I'm not afraid to play in a store, but I'm extremely self-conscious of playing, even if I'm there to legitimately test out gear for purchase. Usually play at low volumes, and don't really care for the guys that go in there and crank amps just to crank them. I mean, I used to do it, but that's neither here nor there....:cool:

One thing that you didn't really touch on is how to practice (and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it). I've always thought it was an interesting thing, because people's playing advances and moves forward at many different paces. For myself, there's times I can work on a particular solo or lick for quite a while and not get it, and other times where it just comes naturally. I've even found if I learn the correct way to play something and have problems with it, I can not play that lick, riff, or what have you for days or even weeks, then attempt it, and can more times than not nail it at speed. There was a study I saw recently talking about the affect of practice for basketball players. I don't remember where I saw it, but the study took two control groups, got their baseline free throw percentages, then told one group to practice as much as they could through the week at a court, and the other group to not touch a ball at all, only "pretend" to practice (air guitar anyone?). Both groups increased their free throw percentages by similar amounts after the week had closed.

As silly as it sounds, I wouldn't doubt that this can sometimes contribute to whenever I can get a lick or riff down without practicing. I frequently (albeit shamefully and while trying to hide it) play air guitar when I'm bored. Usually when a song comes on and I go "Hey! I know that...." or "I know the notes, but can't play it clean yet", I dust the old Air 24 with a Floyd off. Gotta keep the chops up, even in the air ;)

Hopefully my babblings contributed something....
 
When I was young, I had no problem at all. Heck, in the 90s, I even wrote an album for a singer, and supervised the hired guns.

But then I started learning more. The more I learned, the more I realized I did not know. Meanwhile, there was also this attitude that the shredder is king, and if you cannot shred, then you are worthless.

Of course, in the guitar store, you are most likely to encounter shredders.

Part of me does not care what they think. But then I wonder if I really want an encounter with any of these people. So if they are present, then I do not play.

I've also had some anxiety related to learning guitar, learning music theory, and my attitude about how to measure progress.

For me, it's a complicated issue.
 
I'm not big on playing songs that people know well and have probably heard others play better. I don't think I've ever played a popular song in a store.

I think I was always at peace with what I played, which is sometimes derived from something people might recognize. When I was a young punk I had to play in a store to try anything because I couldn't afford to buy anything, certainly not buy it and hope I liked it. Now I mostly go to a store when there isn't likely to be many people there wanting to demonstrate the hot lick they listened to often enough to copy. I just sit and listen to what the guitar will do for me. I just play original stuff, so they don't really know if I make a mistake - if I do it might just be part of the 'song'.

I think of the guitar as my voice. My real voice isn't good enough to express myself, so I do it with guitar. Its how I communicate what I feel. I've never had to be better than what I am (was) to do that, but over time I got a bit better. Only my wife would know if I've gotten more expressive.
 
One thing that you didn't really touch on is how to practice (and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it).

For the longest time, I'd work to "get something down," whether it's modes, triads, arpeggios, or whatever else. I approached it like a little kid who has a plate of food, where I'd eat the peas first, then the beans, and so on, while keeping everything separated.

This approach became obvious in my current lessons. During one lesson, I was given a sheet about the five scale forms. What I did was sit with the first form and work on it until I had it memorized, and then move to the next one. I did this because my understanding was that I could not move forward until I had these mastered. Before I knew it, I was blasting through all five scale forms in G Major.

At my next lesson, we start with a "what's up" or what's on my mind. I was so proud of myself as I declared, "I got the five scale forms down."

I was quickly interrupted with a question. "Do you move them, or do you stay in G?"

That was one problem. The other problem was the idea of "getting things down." He warned me that he had other students who took this approach, and they ended up with tendon issues.

The first correction I received on this was that you never really 'get' anything down. You just do things and gradually get better at them.

The second correction was more universal. "Do not try to master the guitar, because you will not. Nobody will." Instead, you can find a path and work toward getting better at the things that are on that path, and ignore the rest. For example, I'm never going to shred like Van Halen. Ever. And if I tried, then best case scenario, if I got good enough, then I'd be that guy who sounds like Van Halen. There is no point in that. It's better to find my own path and voice.

What I've learned about my own learning, so far:

1. Do not have high expectations. Letting go of expectations and committing to work is the best idea.

2. Do not try to get that one thing down. Take the lesson pieces and give them some work. Spend 5 minutes working on Drop 2 chords, then 5 minutes on something else. Give it a good 15-20 minutes every day, which is better than one hour a few times per week. I really have no idea how this is supposed to work, so I am just trusting the professional as I take the advice.

My take-away, in general, is that the guitar is an Eternal Instrument, with an endless amount of paths, and each path has an endless amount of doors.

The never-ending voice that is guitar learning was initially intimidating and very depressing for me, at first. Recently, it has become more liberating, in a way.

My teacher said, "My worst students are doctors and lawyers, because they need steps. Do this first, then this, then this, and then that." He said that this is not how you learn guitar. My take on that idea is that, initially, there might be some important steps. But at my level, which is "eternally stuck at just about entering the world of the Intermediate," I'm already past those initial things that one must understand just to get started.

As for his best students? They're "full of hormones and zits." They just absorb anything, like a sponge.

Not much I can do about the latter. As for the former, what I can do is consciously reject the idea of getting this down, then that, and so on, with the idea that I'll reach X as a goal.
 
For the fear of playing in the music store, I have to remember that I'm not there to put on a show. I'm not there to impress anyone.

Where did this fear come from?

It has three sources that I can identify.

One source was related to learning guitar. The more I learned, the more I realized I did not know. And with this, the less skilled I felt. I play better now than I ever have, and yet this felt paralyzing.

The second source was seeing players in the store be competitive. I don't approach music as a sport, and don't even like sports. Seeing this gives me an ugly feeling, in a way. I can understand band members or friends challenging one another, in a friendly way. But these guys were out for blood.

The third source is unique to my experience. I was trying out this Gibson guitar, and I did not know that it had one of those G-FORCE robot tuning systems on it. It's a system that was forced upon Gibson guitars at one point in their history, and I was about to learn that people had some strong feelings about it.

I'm playing this guitar and minding my own business. I was actually about to put it back, because I did not know how I felt about these tuners, and I did not know enough about them. All of a sudden, this guy comes over and accosts me, completely unprovoked.

He said that I was a "loser who obviously did not know how to tune a guitar," and he recommended that I learn how to tune a guitar if I want to be a real guitar player. He was nasty, angry, and I guess "triggered" is the word that the kids use these days.

Initially, I stood up to him. I literally stood up from the stool, looked him in the eye, and said, "I'll take it." I didn't even really want the guitar. I just bought it out of anger, because screw you!!!! I later returned it, and they understood.

This experience messed with my head in a bad way, even though I taught myself how to tune a guitar without a tuner, by using the dial tone on the house phone, and working from the A string. I KNEW that he was wrong, and yet the experience had a negative impact.

After that day, I had an uneasy feeling about doing anything. I eventually got over the idea of just picking up a guitar, and now the playing part is slowly opening up. We go into the "expensive guitar room," which is always locked, and I will play in there, at a lower volume.

So probably PTSD.
 
Another issue I had with learning guitar was an anxiety that was attached to the music theory aspects of it all. I was so stressed out, that I got professionals involved. One was a French composer who is a music theory instructor. He said that I suffered "mathematics anxiety." This is the result of getting by without theory for decades, by absorbing Western music via immersion, and then trying to later apply music theory to it all.

His advice was to treat music theory like a language, and do not expect to "get it" overnight. I'm doing better now.

The other professional I hired was a psychiatrist, who wanted to test for various things, including an intelligence test. The test results indicated that a lack of intelligence is not a problem for me, but that I have "Asperger's Tendencies." Great new to get before one's 53rd birthday. Suddenly, many of my life's issues and challenges make sense.

This definitely has an impact on my learning, in certain areas. It's why I can learn new songs quickly, note-for-note, and retain them in memory. But it's also why I'm struggling with music theory.

I've only recently let my guitar teacher know about this, and I actually regret that I did not bring it up sooner.

It's also why I'm highly verbose on forums.
 
I too get nervous playing in a music store, and also in front of people. No idea why, although as your thread title implies, it is clearly "psychological". I've played in a little R&B band, and been at some open mics. I'm definitely better if I'm not singing. But it's still pretty weird - I'm not great, but I know how to make it sound at least listenable! But nerves overtake me.

BTW, I'm a college professor, so it's not "in front of a crowd" fear, it's "playing guitar in front of a crowd fear"...
 
Before I moved to California, at the end of 1985, I played a show with one of my bands, as the guitar player. We had a full house of 5,000 people.

I'm not so certain that I'd be so eager to do that now. Drums? Sure. Bass? Yep. Guitar? eeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... [sneaks out back door]
 
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What issues have you encountered that are related to guitar? From learning to performance, and anything between. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts, because I never became a worse person for knowing more.

The biggest issue I encounter is being pleased with where I am NOW as a player. There is so much I think I should know and be able to do at this point. As I stated before, I have LOST skill in certain areas. However, something newer/cooler/more mature always replaces what is lost. Finding satisfaction in THAT can be difficult at times. Often I will get depressed about skills replacing one another instead of ADDING to one another. Meh, whatever. As stated in the other thread, a lot of it health/medical related, so I can't totally get upset - but I am human and I still focus on the "losses".

There are other things too....

I have a few things in my musical life that I take for granted, and my wife regularly (and lovingly) reminds of it. The first, and the one I take for granted the most because it has been a CONSTANT in my life since I was 13 years old, is that I gig ALL the time - at least twice a month, every month. The other thing she has to remind me of (again, because I take it for granted) is that I am playing national shows and legit venues quite often. She has to remind me that I am always performing my own music. She has to remind me that I am creating and sharing my art. Typing it, I feel like a jerk saying it - like I am bragging or something - but this IS something I struggle with. I try to stay humble and have some humility - not name dropping or over-pimping my accomplishments. It makes me ashamed to talk too much about what I do and have going on. Often I feel like it's a joke because there are SOOOOO many players better than me that aren't doing what I do. My wife constantly has to boost me and tell me I am better than I think I am. I STILL didn't totally "get it" after something cool happened in the Fall of 2017.......

In the Fall of 2017 I was nominated as "Musician of the Year" by a songwriter's group here in FL. I didn't pay attention to any of it because I DO NOT consider myself as "musician of the year" caliber, lol. One of my bandmates saw it and told me. I thought he was winding me up. Nope. I was actually embarrassed!!! I didn't win, but it was a neat thing, lol. Was it a confidence booster? Not sure. The awards ceremony was the culminating event at the Deland Music Festival (the one where my band played on top of plywood and cinder blocks, lol). We played, had a nice crowd and a great gig. Even though I didn't win, it was a cool day!

I have another issue that makes me terribly uncomfortable. It is kind of the opposite of your music store problem. I often end up with small crowds when I am playing in the music store. I was in Sam Ash last week playing an S2 Singlecut. I was having a good ole time when a guy walked up and asked how I was getting all those sounds. I gave a demo of the controls. He asked if I was switching amp channels. "Nope." I was just using a single channel Orange amp set with a good amount of drive. he was stunned that the guitar could do so much. More people started walking over. Soon, I had 5-6 dudes standing around watching me play, asking questions about the guitar. It was distracting, lol.......

It was distracting because I suffer from HORRIFIC stage fright/anxiety. This carries through A LOT of what I do as a musician. I started gigging at 13. I am now 44. There is NOT a time when I play in front of others and I do not get butterflies and the fear of getting the squirts. In the music store it is frustrating because I get nervous and feel like I am performing/doing product demos - my focus changes and I get nervous. In some ways it is flattering, but it also gives me butterflies because I feel an expectation to play exceptionally well.

On stage, it is a little easier, lol. I load up with a few screwdrivers before performing and it kind of becomes "devil may care". Lately I have been trying to lay off because sometimes I get TOO "loose" and have bummed a few shows for the guys because I am all over the place. False confidence isn't always the best. It's a fine line and I have to be careful.

The anxiety on gig days starts EARLY. Often as soon as I wake up anxiety kicks in. I practice a lot on gig day - sometimes 2-3 hours if it's not a show on the other side of the state. Despite this I STILL have almost dizzying levels of panic when the lights drop and we're "on." I DO flub notes in solos sometimes. I DO flub through riffs sometimes. I get REALLY mad at myself because there is NO reason for it happen. I just go into the panic that is nearly blinding, sometimes deafening, and always causing my brain to run a million miles an hour - anticipating the next part (often I feel THAT is what causes the mistakes). I realize that I am human and that there is NO perfect show.

The flip of that is that people never have anything bad to say and I am almost always complimented my playing and tone. I just can't come to a place where I am "relaxed" when performing. Kick in some of the health factors and the anxiety increases. It's weird....

The other facet of what I do musically is session/studio work. This happens in a couple of ways - the "easiest" for me is when it is a "cloud collaboration". I play my bit and send it back. No real anxiety there because I am not interacting with somebody. The OTHER way is by travelling to a session at a studio I may not know. This often involves producer and/or artist input and MUCH scrutinizing over tone, parts, HOW I play the part. It is the worst when it is a new client. It takes time to know somebody musically. But things can get heated even after you have developed a musical relationship with a producer/writer. Familiarity often breeds contempt, right? In these cases when there is a work history people can still get "too picky" and are usually a little nastier about it because of the comfort level. I can be VERY sensitive about stuff, especially when I KNOW you.

Anyway, hope this comes across the way I want it to. I apologize if I sound like a jerk. Not my intention.
 
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I’m more comfortable, and believe I play better, on keys than guitar. So I can be shy playing guitar out, or in a session (oh, especially in a session!), or in a store.

I completely get what GuitarDrummer is feeling.

Yet somehow I manage to play professionally on my projects and those of others. Partly it’s because I only play original parts, in my own style, and my own style isn’t all that impressive - but in general it works.

I’m not sure that anyone can ever get over the shyness. But I do know that playing guitar isn’t a contest.
 
The biggest issue I encounter is being pleased with where I am NOW as a player.

Excellent anecdotes. Do not worry about sounding like a jerk, as I took none of it that way.

The bad news is that chances are good that you will never be pleased with where you are now.

There is good news, in that I'm convinced that this is what drives musicians to constantly improve. I'm this way, and my teacher is this way.

My guitar teacher has been playing for over 50 years, and he described the issue in an interesting way. Go write some songs, record the album, and get it produced. By the time the album is done, he's already improved as a player, so he looks back on what he's just recorded, and is not happy with it. He doesn't necessarily declare that he's better now, but he perceives his old self to not be so good. That is true, but how bad the old self might be tends to get skewed in a similar fashion as one's perception about the current self.

I've experienced this in other ways. For example, I hear this riff and decide that I must learn this riff. I secretly send my thoughts to The Riff Fairy... oh, if only I can learn THAT riff and perfect it, then I will FINALLY be happy with myself as a player. ReeeeEEEE!!! I get to work, put in the hours and the sweat [y'all know the drill], and I now have that riff in my tool box.

And yet, I'm not happy. In fact, it changed absolutely nothing.

I think that this is where loving to play the guitar becomes the most important attitude in your head and heart. Picking up an instrument when one does not feel pleased with their current state is not an easy thing to do. I have great respect for anyone who picks up an instrument.

You get to the top of that summit that you've had your eyes on, look around, and see all of those other summits. And you have to acknowledge that you'll never, ever reach all of those summits, let out a sigh, and climb the next one.
 
Steve Van advises to practice it until you can play it blindfolded and then practice it blindfolded!

I saw a video where Mr. Vai said something to that effect, as he was talking about spending 8 hours practicing a pinch harmonic.

You can bet that I'll approach a riff or a song in that fashion.

These other things that I noted are probably going to take significantly longer.
 
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