Today’s Astrophysics Report

[László]

You’ll all be very happy to know that science has recently confirmed that Uranus smells bad.

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.

According to the latest astrophysics report, its atmosphere is mostly hydrogen sulfide, which is the chemical that causes rotten eggs to reek.

“What’s that noise?”

“It’s the sound of every 9 year old on the planet giggling, plus everyone who thinks like a 9 year old.”

“That would be everyone, then.”

“Yes. Best science news ever.”

“Uranus smells bad.”

“What do you mean? I just got out of the shower!”

Oh, the jokes, the jokes, the jokes. To think that are folks who think science doesn’t get things right about the universe!

 

[veinbuster]

Do you think they knew it smelt bad when they named it?

 

[Alnus Rubra]

Almost unable to type!

In a fit a laughter, you know that laugh that is just a soft wheeze! Your breath is escaping and you’re unable to inhale. Panic starts to take over as you realise you’re depriving your body of oxygen!

And then tears!

Thanks Les

 

[Boogie]

Hey, he who smelt it, dealt it.

 

[László]

One day on the Enterprise...

“Captain...”

“Yes, Mr. Spock?”

“We’re receiving a signal from Uranus.”

“From my...anus? Bahahahahahahahahahah...oh gosh, I didn’t think anyone could hear it or smell it! Hahahahaha! I’m gasping for breath....behahahahammmfffftttt....hahahahaha!”

“Captain, I wish you Earthlings wouldn’t act line nine year old children...mmmffff....haha...baahahahahahahahaha!heheheheheheeeee hahahahaha!”

“Captain...seriously for a momen...heheh...bahaha...heh...Star Fleet wants us to beam down to...hahahahababahahaha...Uranus...heheheheheheeee....and [gasp] check...haha...heh...heheheheheeeeee...bahaha...to Uranus and check it out!”

“Bahahahahaheeeehhhhheeeeeehahahaha! Beam down to my....hahahahaha...anus? Hahahahaahhheeee!”

“Captain, I think you should know that...mmmffff....hahahahaha...ha...Uranus smells awful! Heheheheheheheahahahaha...”

“Mr. Sulu....hoooohahahahahahaha...set a course directly for Uranus! Hahaha...baha...heh...heh...whew!”

“Shall we....heeeeehahahahahahaha....put up our shields, Captain...haha...heh....”

“Scotty, this is Kirk. We’re heading for Uranus...heheh...hahaha....um...mmmmfffft....giver her all she’s....haha....got! Hoohahahahahahaha!”

 

[Tonart]

To these guys Uranus is the new frontier, to boldly go where no mutt has gone before.

 

[László]

To these guys Uranus is the new frontier, to boldly go where no mutt has gone before.

Bahahahahaha!

 

[Alnus Rubra]

Scotty cannae push her any harder Captain, else she’ll blow!

Bahahahahaha!!

Enterprise rear ends a Romulan Battle Bird!!

 

[László]

Do you think they knew it smelt bad when they named it?

I think they were kinda hoping.

 

[11top]

 

[László]

Scotty cannae push her any harder Captain, else she’ll blow!

Bahahahahaha!!

Enterprise rear ends a Romulan Battle Bird!!

This stuff is too easy, right? I love science!

 

[Alnus Rubra]

Without watching it, I assume it’s -

Oor-anus

Which doesn’t help in Scotland!

 

[László]

In late 1942, the Russians encircled the Germans at Stalingrad in Operation Uranus, and put it to the German Sixth Army.

You can tell what the Russians thought of the Germans just from the title of the operation.

 

[Alnus Rubra]

In late 1942, the Russians encircled the Germans at Stalingrad in Operation Uranus, and put it to the German Sixth Army.

You can tell what the Russians thought of the Germans...

Bet that Operation stunk!

 

[Tim S]

Beware the Klingons around Uranus. They must be wiped out!

 

[Alnus Rubra]

Beware the Klingons around Uranus. They must be wiped out!

Nice one Tim, people are now looking at me like the crazy person I am, as I burst out into raucous laughter!

 

[Deleted member 5962]

When my daughter was in 4th grade she was doing a report on the solar system. I said "did you know that scientists have discovered human hair on Uranus?"

The next day while giving her report in front of the whole class, she pronounced "and scientists have discovered human hair on Uranus." The funniest thing being, none of the kids got it, but her teacher sent a note home with her that day. She knew it was me that told her that (somehow ) and said nobody got it and the kids thought it was true. And she said "you can imagine how embarrassed I was to have to tell them "well that is not verified yet so I wouldn't tell people that."

 

[Alnus Rubra]

When my daughter was in 4th grade she was doing a report on the solar system. I said "did you know that scientists have discovered human hair on Uranus?"

The next day while giving her report in front of the whole class, she pronounced "and scientists have discovered human hair on Uranus." The funniest thing being, none of the kids got it, but her teacher sent a note home with her that day. She knew it was me that told her that (somehow ) and said nobody got it and the kids thought it was true. And she said "you can imagine how embarrassed I was to have to tell them "well that is not verified yet so I wouldn't tell people that."

I can’t pull a rabbit from a hat, but I can pull a hare from.....

 

[Tim S]

I can’t pull a rabbit from a hat, but I can pull a hare from.....

Now, if you’re about to tell us that you can pull hares from Uranus...

 

[bodia]

When my daughter was in 4th grade she was doing a report on the solar system. I said "did you know that scientists have discovered human hair on Uranus?"

The next day while giving her report in front of the whole class, she pronounced "and scientists have discovered human hair on Uranus." The funniest thing being, none of the kids got it, but her teacher sent a note home with her that day. She knew it was me that told her that (somehow ) and said nobody got it and the kids thought it was true. And she said "you can imagine how embarrassed I was to have to tell them "well that is not verified yet so I wouldn't tell people that."

Ha!

I have a buddy with a 30 year old son. When said son was 3 he knew the names of the members of Kiss. His favorite band was "Juda Preez"; and if you said to him, "Hey, Little Tony, Little Boy Blue....". He would respond with, "He needed the money." Classic stuff. Although, pops may regret his teaching Little T the "finer things" as he still lives at home with mom and dad!