Good luck! I went though what you are going through for several years starting about 15 years ago. What I found were groups composed of pretty much professional musicians who wanted someone who could hit the ground running with their entire song catalog or guys like me who had demanding careers and children who really did not have the time to commit to a band, but wanted to play. I finally gave up and did the jam scene to get my music fix.
I recently retired early and would like to play more. I do not need the money. I did not need it back when I was searching for a group. I am just looking for musicians who have grown up and understand the value of compromise. Being in a group means doing your best to perform songs well that you personally cannot stand to play. An example of such a song for me is "Roadhouse Blues." That song bored me to tears, but we had a harp player and vocalist who loved playing and singing it, so I did my best to make him shine. There have been other songs in other groups that did not trip my trigger, but I have to say "Roadhouse Blues" was the worst for me.