With apologies to the pure historians among us...
"6 score and 1 years into the future our children will bring forth on this continent, a new guitar, conceived in genius, and dedicated to the proposition that all guitars are not created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great economic war, testing whether that company, or any company so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that competition. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those inferior F&G brand guitars that didn't measure up. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men and women of Maryland, who struggle here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they do here. It is for us the consumers, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who toil here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored guitars we take increased devotion to that cause in which they continue to give their full measure of musicality—that we here highly resolve that these guitars shall not hang on the walls of Guitar Center in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of R&B, Blues, and good ol' Rock and Roll—and that guitars made of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
Adapted from the Gettysburg Address...