Gosh...I want a SE CE24 satin...but

Exactly! Just leave it in the car as a spare or something.
Did that for a summer in LA long ago.

Lived by the beach, worked in the Valley (daytime temps up to 110) and needed a guitar in Hollywood after work. Didn't want to subject the LP to the heat so got a cheap Squier superstrat. It withstood the frequent thermal shock pretty well and turned out to be a great MIJ guitar from the Fujigen factory, especially nice after it got a Pearly Gates.
There are so many $500 or less that don't have this issue. Whether you think they compare us another topic...but classic Vibe Squiers, Epihones and import Gretsch quickly come to mind. Moving a splice over an inch is really an issue? The wood is really that much of a leftover scrap?
I'd rather a 3 or 4 piece vs an off center 2 piece. That seems an easy solution to just a "thrown together" appearance of scrap mahogany.
Do these other guitars play or sound as well? Your call…….
But can't they get the wood splice in a place that doesn't freak out my OCD? IOW...down the middle or at least symetrical, if using 3 pieces. Plus..the splices in some models are so visible, it just attracts your attention to it and it isn't subtle. Back sides are not so much an issue...but some awful crazy ones out there on the front.

Almost ALL the ones I see, the splice is 3/5ths (or similar) off to one side...going thru the knobs with a major dark/light difference..etc....or just about a 1/2" off center.
It's crazy.... Does not this bother Paul...or is he oblivious to this?
I had exactly the same issue when I was looking for a SAS - so just waited until the right one came along...
Do these other guitars play or sound as well? Your call…….
Differently...but I favor my SE now because some things about it cover a lot of my first choices of what I want in a guitar. I have an Epi 60s SG that is fantastic and easily is equal quality to the Gibsons. Same with some of my lower cost guitars. Of the 25 guitars I currently have...if they don't play well or have issues, they get moved along. That's been my policy for my 60s years of playing. As a kid, I still did the same.