Dream Theater news… Portnoy returns!

[László]

A harmonica and kazoo at the same time??? Always trying to one up us all, aren’t you, Les? My “ two kazoos at once “ trick would immediately lose its charm if you did that!

Please, for the sake of my upcoming world tour, DON’T!

No worries. I would never play a kazoo under any circumstances, not even for One Million Dollars!

One Day Walking Into The House...

"Wait, you're saying you turned down a million dollar offer and all you had to do was play a kazoo?"

"That's right, dear. I have certain standards of musicianship that must be upheld that are worth more than mere money! Is...um...is that a gun you're holding?"

"Yes. This gun kills IDIOTS."

[SFX: Gunshot]

Later that day...

"Hello, Laz, you idiot. Welcome to Hell."

"Thanks! Is there a band here I can join?"

"Yes. We have two bands here. We have the all-kazoo band and the all-accordion band. Would you like to join one of the bands?"

"Yes, I'll take the all-accordion band."

"Great."

[aside] "Take this idiot away and chop off one of his arms."

"Wait...how can I play the accordion with only one arm?"

"Laz, the way we do it here is all you play one side of the instrument and pull the bellows on that side, and the other one-armed player pulls the bellows and plays either the keys or the buttons. Remember, this is Hell, and it's not supposed to be fun."

"What if I choose the all-kazoo band?"

"We cut off your lips. What's it gonna be?"

 

[DreamTheaterRules]

No worries. I would never play a kazoo under any circumstances, not even for One Million Dollars!

Wait, not even for One Million Dollars? US?

Ok, take it back. You're OK by me.

And, I'm not assuming it's just because "some" people have trouble "tuning" their kazoo, if you know what I"m sayin.'

 

[alantig]

And, I'm not assuming it's just because "some" people have trouble "tuning" their kazoo, if you know what I"m sayin.'

I once told someone their kazoo needed tuning. That date ended abruptly.

 

[DreamTheaterRules]

I once told someone their kazoo needed tuning. That date ended abruptly.

I once joked that I could never date a woman who couldn't sing. But boy, I sure did marry one! That girl can't carry a tune in a bucket! However, she does have many other fine qualities.