Bandmates

It’s so awkward when you don’t get a long. Or you don’t trust your band mates. Or, there absolute losers and everything about them is a big red flag.

I can remember one singer not showing up for 6 months and then finally wanting to come back to the fold. I said, “are you serious”? Some ppl are just not worth the trouble regardless of being a band mate or not.
 
I've only been in one band....the one I'm currently in now. Over the 13-14 years we've been doing it, we've had members come and go, but all have been great people.

We all started out as a band of essentially family - four brothers, a brother-in-law, and a cousin....so getting along was never an issue. Creative differences could be pretty strong, though.

Now, just me and our singer are the only "original" members left, and we're a five-piece as opposed to the original six. I would say, right now, we are the most chemistry-compatible we've ever been and I feel so fortunate to have such musically-like-minded bandmates. We get along great, trust each other's musical instincts, give each other room in songs, and generally agree on song structure and feel.

I'd say the biggest issue we've faced was early on, was some members drinking too much at practice and shows to where it hindered progress. It can still be an issue sometimes, but never quite to the extent as it was in the beginning.
 
One thing I have never experienced was too much drinking(I don’t drink period) or drugging. I have had mates come in and light a spliff but it was no big deal. Some ppl are on edge so if they want to imbibe a bit I am good with that. I have seen away more drunk customers then band members.
 
GOOD friends. Despite some of us sharing quite different political views (GASP!! Imagine that???)

We even went on a group vacation together with our significant others (to Key West). All good peeps.

But all of us (except one) have known each other for 30+ years, on/off. Even played together in past years. It was an easy band to put together, because there's no ego, no drama.
 
This is my 7th band I have put together. There was only two bad apples in the bunch. The singer whom I have already told you about. And… another singer female. She was a diva extraordinare. If she didn’t like things she would stand there and not sing. Hands across her chest giving me the evil eye. We would go out in the hallway trying to figure things out. I finally had a pact with the guys to get rid of her. She was a C&W singer but found that rock n roll was not her preference. She made us suffer. The nastiness was beyond fathomable.

Oh there was one guy who was so obsessed with George Thorogood. He thought he was him. Everything, every god damned song had to have that vibe and if it didn’t he would change things midstream to suit himself. That drove me crazy. We would be playing something mellow but not this guy. He was strumming like his life depended on it.

So many other stories and experiences to remember. Mostly good, some not so!

I have made one life lasting friendship out of the bunch. He’s moved to Boston but we talk every week or so. He and I were in my very first band but I got fired from. Such a unique experience. I am glad I went through this even though it was beyond devastating at the time.
 
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No because I have only been playing with them a couple of months.
I only moved down here from NYC not too long ago.
It takes time to become friends with people.

I was and still am pretty close to my former bandmates in NYC.
They were all people I knew for a very long time
I had friends among them.
 
Well three of them are my family, so I have no choice!

The other four are made up of three colleagues, so yes. They are good guys, one of them (guitarist) and I jammed together for about 4 years before the band formed in 2019.

All good people. One of the female singers is a saint because she has put up with me for 23 years.
 
They're just like family, literally. Some are great and I could be around them every day. Some less so, but it’s always good to see them. Some are best in small doses and specific events. I’ve been in a decent number of bands, some for years at a time, one for over 10. I’m still friends with all of them, but there’s a few that are much closer, even though I don’t see them as often as I once did.

I wouldn’t stay in a band with people I didn’t like or trust. That would suck the joy out of it for me.
 
RickP said:
I wouldn’t stay in a band with people I didn’t like or trust. That would suck the joy out of it for me.
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Sometimes good judgement gets trumped by obsession. It’s happened to me. I was miserable with my bandmates in one particular band but I just didn’t have it in me to put together another band no matter how much things were going downhill for me. I continued until I absolutely couldn’t take it anymore. The day I walked in an started to play and the drummer and bass player got into it again. I quietly packed up my gear and left the building. I didn’t say a word. They knew exactly that if they had personal issues NOT to bring themto rehearsal. Resolve it on your own time. At times it got so heated. I was afraid of trying to stop something if it ever started. That was just too much shite to put up with.

Another lesson learned. Do not let things escalate and try to resolve it by myself. Playing peace keeper. Ya, just not having any of it!
 
I've always been 'friends' with bandmates, but rarely to the point where we hung out together.

I've been fortunate to not have been in bands that had weirdness or bad energy between the people, but if that were to happen, I would walk away. I think putting up with that sort of nonsense is for people younger than me.

My current band has 10 people in it and everyone is nice. Some are more dedicated than others, but so far everyone is pulling their own weight. The leader is extremely good with managing people; better than me.

I led my own band for a couple years and decided I'm better NOT leading...
 
Alnus Rubra said:
Well three of them are my family, so I have no choice!

The other four are made up of three colleagues, so yes. They are good guys, one of them (guitarist) and I jammed together for about 4 years before the band formed in 2019.

All good people. One of the female singers is a saint because she has put up with me for 23 years.
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Y'all had to be best buds to rock it like dat.

 
Lola said:
So let me ask you, are you friends with your bandmates?
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Speaking For Myself Only - TO ME, A Proper Band Situation (Not A Weekend Warrior Thing) Is Far More Than Simply A Band. It Is A Business. It Is A Marriage With A Strong Pre-Nup And Of Course It Is A Band (Which Takes Up Less Space Than The Other Things I Listed). When These Things I Mentioned Are Neglected It Is A Downhill Spiral In Some Way, Somehow Down The Line. All That Aside...The Members Needs To Gel In Many Ways Or It Simply Will Not Work. The Band Members Need To Have The Same Desired Outcome At Their Core. They Need To Be Heading In The Same Direction or It Is A Waste Of Time Long Term....(Short Term Wastes Of Time Are Still Wastes Of Time As Well). Everything Has TO Come Together Personally, Financially And Musically. There Are More Moving Parts Than A Traditional Marriage In Most Cases...Management, Labels, Etc. Etc. Etc. If It All Lines Up Beautifully You Are Onto Something. If Any Of These Scenarios Go Sideways Or Multiples Go Sideways It Is A Tough Road And Can be A Disastrous One On Many Levels.
 
Bogner said:
Speaking For Myself Only - TO ME, A Proper Band Situation (Not A Weekend Warrior Thing) Is Far More Than Simply A Band. It Is A Business. It Is A Marriage With A Strong Pre-Nup And Of Course It Is A Band (Which Takes Up Less Space Than The Other Things I Listed). When These Things I Mentioned Are Neglected It Is A Downhill Spiral In Some Way, Somehow Down The Line. All That Aside...The Members Needs To Gel In Many Ways Or It Simply Will Not Work. The Band Members Need To Have The Same Desired Outcome At Their Core. They Need To Be Heading In The Same Direction or It Is A Waste Of Time Long Term....(Short Term Wastes Of Time Are Still Wastes Of Time As Well). Everything Has TO Come Together Personally, Financially And Musically. There Are More Moving Parts Than A Traditional Marriage In Most Cases...Management, Labels, Etc. Etc. Etc. If It All Lines Up Beautifully You Are Onto Something. If Any Of These Scenarios Go Sideways Or Multiples Go Sideways It Is A Tough Road And Can be A Disastrous One On Many Levels.
Click to expand...
Umm… sorry, but this is unreadable.
 
veinbuster said:
I always got along with everybody, but didn’t socialize with them outside of band activity. At least the real bands that generated some income.
I played with friends from time to time, but never considered it a band, it was just having fun.
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stone cold.
Bogner said:
Try Harder...I have Faith In You. You Can Do It! ;)
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i know it's a ransom note but still figuring out the rest, trick is to not read the first letter of any articles.
 
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