Where do I put this energy?

[sergiodeblanc]

I basically put myself in between a neighbor kid (college aged I think) and her sexual assaulter today.

I took her into the house until the cops came, told her she’s always safe here, and did everything I think was right but... I still feel... I dunno, angry and helpless I guess.

I mean, I’d play some guitar and write a song but... writing a smooth R&B jam about double castrations doesn’t seem like a good idea...And my HOA frowns upon digging tiger pits in my front lawn.

What should I do?

 

[walrus]

You already did the right thing by helping her, but if there's anything else to do regarding her situation, she has to do it. Hopefully your support will give her strength.

 

[ElrytNamrogo]

Sounds like you did a lot more than a lot of other people would do. So many people will turn a blind eye in scary situations like this, whether it's fear for their own safety or just not wanting to get involved. Major props for putting yourself out there, your neighbor is very lucky to have had you near by and not somebody more hesitant or less willing to act.

In terms of further action, I'd say discreetly (to preserve your neighbor's privacy, of course) notify other neighbors in the area of the situation and make yourself available to local police, should they have any questions.

I hate hearing about stuff like this....it's so disheartening to think that these kinds of things are still happening so often. I hope your neighbor finds some comfort in knowing you're a good dude, willing to help and that she can recover both physically and mentally....and that her attacker gets caught and his due punishment.

Props, man....I know a situation like this has gotta shake you a bit.

 

[sergiodeblanc]

You already did the right thing by helping her, but if there's anything else to do regarding her situation, she has to do it. Hopefully your support will give her strength.

Oh, for sure!

I just mean I’m still all wound up and feel awful. I don’t even know her, so I’m not trying to get in her space

I need suggestions for a non-masculine activity that doesn’t involve anything illegal or unsavoury in case I have to talk to the cops again.

 

[bodia]

Good job, my man. I get the "feeling I should have done more" thing. It's just the frustration that it could happen again, if she lets it. You want to slam the d.b. in the gut with a bat, give him a knee in the chin while he's doubled over, and kick him in the sack while he's lying on his back.

Maybe make up some mashed potatoes and recreate the scene from Close Encounters. That should burn off some of that adrenaline.

 

[alantig]

Good job, man. It's not easy to take that step to get involved, but it's better than seeing her picture on the news later and wondering if you could have done something.

Give that little man an extra hug and know that you did something to make his world a little better.

 

[sergiodeblanc]

..I know a situation like this has gotta shake you a bit.

Yeah! That’s where I’m at. I mean, nothing happened to me I’m totally fine. I’m not a victim or a hero or anything, but.... I’ve got crazy energy levels right now and don’t know what to do with them.

Maybe I’ll make Paco a no rape mobile to put above his crib.

 

[sergiodeblanc]

Good job, man. It's not easy to take that step to get involved, but it's better than seeing her picture on the news later and wondering if you could have done something.

Give that little man an extra hug and know that you did something to make his world a little better.

It happened right across the street from me... there was no way I could do nothing.

Maybe make up some mashed potatoes and recreate the scene from Close Encounters. That should burn off some of that adrenaline.

That might be a good idea.

I’m just struggling with how inappropriate most of my go-to activities are after this situation.

 

[bodia]

It happened right across the street from me... there was no way I could do nothing.



That might be a good idea.

I’m just struggling with how inappropriate most of my go-to activities are after this situation.

I'm with ya. If it were me, I'd pour a big glass of some adult beverage, and fire up the p0rn.

 

[veinbuster]

We had a punching bag in the basement for a while. It’s a good way to burn off adrenaline.

 

[sergiodeblanc]

I'm with ya. If it were me, I'd pour a big glass of some adult beverage, and fire up the p0rn.

We had a punching bag in the basement for a while. It’s a good way to burn off adrenaline.

Yeah, but see, all three of those things seem kinda... wrong. At the moment, I mean.

 

[dmatthews]

We had a punching bag in the basement for a while. It’s a good way to burn off adrenaline.

A drumkit is awesome too.

 

[11top]

I like the tiger pit idea, except I’d be afraid that Bernice, my not so wild wild turkey might fall in.

 

[veinbuster]

Yeah, but see, all three of those things seem kinda... wrong. At the moment, I mean.

Venting on an inanimate object designed specifically for that purpose is rarely wrong, but I can see that an violent outburst might feel misdirected. My daughter and I both tend to respond by getting on our bikes and riding our legs off - hard to do with a little kid strapped to your back.

I would probably just talk through it with Lady J. Then fuss about it much of the night while pretending to sleep. There is no easy way out when confronted with these kinds of offenses, even if the outcome was OK.

 

[Ovibos]

Tune something to Drop A and unleash the beast.

 

[Boogie]

I find those times to be ripe writing environments. It’s either that or go to the shooting range or go for a drive (horrible idea) on the back roads, or...my favorite...sit on the couch with my cats - who always know when something is wrong - and watch Galaxy Quest for the 5000th time. You don’t strike me as the shooting range kinda guy...cats otoh...

 

[sergiodeblanc]

A drumkit is awesome too.

I’ve got one! But it’s stacked sadly in the corner or my “Room of Broken Dreams”.

I like the tiger pit idea, except I’d be afraid that Bernice, my not so wild wild turkey might fall in.

A couple of neighbor kids and I used to build mini versions of those in our backyard by shoveling back a sliver of grass (like sod) and putting twigs across the opening to support it.... it was all fun-n-games until Mr. Cirillo broke his ankle mowing the lawn one day (I blame Rambo and Predator for twisting our impressionable young minds).

Venting on an inanimate object designed specifically for that purpose is rarely wrong, but I can see that an violent outburst might feel misdirected. My daughter and I both tend to respond by getting on our bikes and riding our legs off - hard to do with a little kid strapped to your back.

A bike would be great, I should get one again.

You guys distracted me enough until my wife came home, so thank you again PRS Forum. Tacos, Tecate, and Tequila took care of the rest, I figured I waited long enough.

I would probably just talk through it with Lady J. Then fuss about it much of the night while pretending to sleep. There is no easy way out when confronted with these kinds of offenses, even if the outcome was OK.

She was actually working from home when I brought the girl over and the cops came, and I’m glad she was, as I think it made it feel a little more safe coming into our house.

Lady J. Is out for street justice. The minute the cops left she wanted us to jump in the car and go look for the dude... I obviously squashed that idea immediately.

 

[CandidPicker]

Serg,

You're doing the right thing about just now...writing to people about it and expressing your feelings the best way possible.

Sometimes negative energy that is produced from an occurrence like the one you experienced doesn't have a creative outlet, but it does need a way for you to help calm yourself now that the incident is over with. Once you're at peace with yourself, you can begin to go about your life again.

FTR, this counts as a traumatic experience that can produce nightmares and disturbed thinking patterns if you dwell on it. It might be wise to get outdoors in some fresh air where you can do some activity that will take your thoughts off of your experience. It may take a few days, though you'll feel better once the original stressors have decreased. Perhaps some bike time, or a good walk some miles away from civilization for an hour.

From personal experience, when things get too stressful, I'm usually proactive in this department and find ways of getting out of my head and doing some occupational activities, including home improvement, gardening, cooking, woodworking, hands-on craftwork, etc. Otherwise, if I've been exceptionally busy during the day, a good walk after dinner or sitting on the patio with a beer as the sunsets helps me feel better.

Many of these will work, try a couple instead of adding to a negative cycle that may not help you feel better.

 

[andy474x]

Nicely done brother. Those kinds of things often do get us all hyped up, not always in a good way. Usually a good sleep gets me past that energy... if you can sleep.

There are a few versions of this parable floating around, but they all get at the same thing:

One day, an old man was walking along a beach that was littered with thousands of starfish that had been washed ashore by the high tide. As he walked he came upon a young boy who was eagerly throwing the starfish back into the ocean, one by one.

Puzzled, the man looked at the boy and asked what he was doing. Without looking up from his task, the boy simply replied, “I’m saving these starfish, Sir”.

The old man chuckled aloud, “Son, there are thousands of starfish and only one of you. What difference can you make?”

The boy picked up a starfish, gently tossed it into the water and turning to the man, said, “I made a difference to that one!”

You did a very good thing for that young lady today. It took you only a few moments but saved her from days, months, years of emotional trauma.

 

[Herr Squid]

Serge, sounds like you got that incredibly hopped-up thing I got one time when I helped break up a fight in the street in Ottawa. I was there for a business conference, on my way across town to the open-bar social and this altercation broke out right near me. About the time the big guy was starting to pound the little guy's head against the asphalt, I was all "nah. this ain't gonna happen anymore." So I and some other guys broke it up. And as I was walking away, I realized I was vibrating, at the same time I was thinking "WTF did I just do? In a foreign country?" You know you've done the right thing, but all that stuff just goes through your head as you question it all, amirite..? I shook continuously for the next three or so hours. It is such a weird experience.