Metal guitar skills and mating probabilities: a study

[László]

When you say "I met my wife at the Seriously, This Really IS Hell Experience" do you mean you literally met her at an Experience PRS event? How did that happen?

Actually, I met her in high school.

The hell thing was me kidding around. We both love a mutual state of perpetual war.

 

[DreamTheaterRules]

I don't know about this articles theory. While I don't just shred, and I"m not "extreme metal," and I'm not claiming to be great or anything, but as a counterpoint to this article:

1- I can shred.
2- I've been married for 35 years, and
3- my wife is a babe

Am I an outlier? A pretend shredder? A complete hack with delusions of grandeur? A Sergio de Blanc wannabe? Or, am I just lucky enough to have all the right moves to make this equation work (like, in fact, my idol Mr. de Blanc)?

 

[Tosca]

As the gain knob goes up, the number of ladies in the audience decreases.

 

[alantig]

As the gain knob goes up, the number of ladies in the audience decreases.

What about chicks and broads and dames? Some of us don't aspire to attain ladies.

 

[DreamTheaterRules]

As the gain knob goes up, the number of ladies in the audience decreases.

hmm, tell Eddie Van Halen that.

 

[Tosca]

What about chicks and broads and dames? Some of us don't aspire to attain ladies.

Using those words to describe them will only amplify the effects of the gain knob.

 

[Tosca]

hmm, tell Eddie Van Halen that.

They were probably more excited by DLR’s spandex than Eddie’s tapping technique.

 

[DreamTheaterRules]

Using those words to describe them will only amplify the effects of the gain knob.

So true...

 

[DreamTheaterRules]

They were probably more excited by DLR’s spandex than Eddie’s tapping technique.

Maybe, but Eddie did OK too. (much better than he should have, actually...)

 

[Tosca]

Maybe, but Eddie did OK too. (much better than he should have, actually...)

If only he used a Klon instead of a Variac…he might have done as well as John Mayer.

 

[DreamTheaterRules]

If only he used a Klon instead of a Variac…he might have done as well as John Mayer.

I was thinking along the lines of, he should have had less because he was married. But yeah, if he had used a Klon... wow... just imagine the babes!

 

[DISTORT6]

As the gain knob goes up, the number of ladies in the audience decreases.

Rush isn’t that “gainy”.

 

[Juan Luis Vidal]

As the gain knob goes up, the number of ladies in the audience decreases.

15 years ago I was playing in this melo-death band (think of In Flames or Dark Tranquillity) and my 2nd guitarist, a very handsome womanizer guy, had this non-written-rule for live performances: if we did not reach at least 1 third of female audience we were not making it right. Most of the times we passed the test with flying colors

 

[Alnus Rubra]

Using those words to describe them will only amplify the effects of the gain knob.

Mini-toggled for her pleasure

 

[Tosca]

Mini-toggled for her pleasure

if you know how to handle a minitoggle…she knows you mean business.

 

[Victor Vector]

Oh no, Ive been writing a lot of heavy stuff lately. Never knew I was doing it for you guys.

 

[RossF]

15 years ago I was playing in this melo-death band (think of In Flames or Dark Tranquillity) and my 2nd guitarist, a very handsome womanizer guy, had this non-written-rule for live performances: if we did not reach at least 1 third of female audience we were not making it right. Most of the times we passed the test with flying colors

Is the word "reach" an euphemism in this case?

 

[sergiodeblanc]

I don't know about this articles theory. While I don't just shred, and I"m not "extreme metal," and I'm not claiming to be great or anything, but as a counterpoint to this article:

1- I can shred.
2- I've been married for 35 years, and
3- my wife is a babe

Am I an outlier? A pretend shredder? A complete hack with delusions of grandeur? A Sergio de Blanc wannabe? Or, am I just lucky enough to have all the right moves to make this equation work (like, in fact, my idol Mr. de Blanc)?

Word!

I’ve also always done pretty well for myself. I was never really in a “metal” band but, I played solos in Post-Hardcore bands, a Skate Rock band, funk bands, a Mexican Emo band, reggae bands, R&B bands, and even a Hip Hop band.

I mean, y’all know my personality sucks, I look like Jerry Seinfeld and Ali G, and playing guitar is really the only other personality trait I have so… I have to assume these guy’s solos aren’t nearly as amazing as mine.

 

[gush]

Every time - and I mean every single time - we watch a music doc or bio and a guitarist says, "I started playing guitar for the same reason we all do - to get girls," my wife leans forward and looks at me and says, "How's that working for you?"

I got married late in life.....my wife does not want to hear anything about my life as a guitar player pre marriage.

 

[gush]

I was going to post something funny, but I will be serious for a change. I will agree to an extent. Most people I ever played music with did it for a *****. These guys no longer play music. I started playing music partially due to this reason but mainly because the music was giving me shivers—an actual physical reaction. I'm 43 today, happily married for 18 years, and no longer chasing skirts, yet I'm still obsessed with a guitar and blasting Slipknot or Meshuggah more often than I don't

I have to agree here. In all honesty, I play music to satisfy me.

I took my McCarty and my spark amp to air bnb for Xmas with our kids this past December.

My SIL said he's been in the family for 8 years and he's just now finding out that I'm a dedicated player???

He was kind of shocked. Again, I play to satisfy me.

I'd like to think I have one more band left in me but I just don't know. I live in discomfort 24/7 and the thought of moving gear is not appealing to me.

It really bums me out.