Metal guitar skills and mating probabilities: a study

Juan Luis Vidal

Juan Luis Vidal

Not so new member
Joined
Jul 18, 2023
Messages
150
Location
Santander, Spain
- We academics tend to poke our noses everywhere
- Certain academics have a lot of spare time
- Now I'm hesitant to keep practicing those Benth lessons on YouTube. Back to Nirvana / Sex Pistols...


www.psypost.org

Extreme metal guitar skills linked to intrasexual competition, but not mating success

New research reveals that guitar skills in extreme metal music are more linked to male competition and status than to attracting mates. The study, focusing on heterosexual male guitarists, suggests that technical proficiency in guitar playing serves more as a display of dominance among peers.
www.psypost.org www.psypost.org
 
There's some stuff at the end of the article that should have been in the beginning. Things like not having professional musicians in the study and primarily recruiting participants from Internet forums.

So extreme metal guitarists who spend a lot of time practicing don't have as much success with casual sex as they would like? There's not a lot to be surprised at there.
 
RC Mike said:
There's some stuff at the end of the article that should have been in the beginning. Things like not having professional musicians in the study and primarily recruiting participants from Internet forums.

So extreme metal guitarists who spend a lot of time practicing don't have as much success with casual sex as they would like? There's not a lot to be surprised at there.
Click to expand...
What do you expect from the lead author of the oxford handbook of infidelity
 
RC Mike said:
So extreme metal guitarists who spend a lot of time practicing don't have as much success with casual sex as they would like? There's not a lot to be surprised at there.
Click to expand...

Before I go on, I'd like to mention that I am not a metal guitarist...BUT, really now, who among us has as much success with casual sex as we would like? Be honest now ;) Not sure this correlates to any particular genre.
 
Every time - and I mean every single time - we watch a music doc or bio and a guitarist says, "I started playing guitar for the same reason we all do - to get girls," my wife leans forward and looks at me and says, "How's that working for you?"
 
alantig said:
Every time - and I mean every single time - we watch a music doc or bio and a guitarist says, "I started playing guitar for the same reason we all do - to get girls," my wife leans forward and looks at me and says, "How's that working for you?"
Click to expand...
You Can Always Respond By Saying It Landed Me You Baby! What More Could A Man Ask For? ;) That'll Learn Her...LOL.
 
I was going to post something funny, but I will be serious for a change. I will agree to an extent. Most people I ever played music with did it for a *****. These guys no longer play music. I started playing music partially due to this reason but mainly because the music was giving me shivers—an actual physical reaction. I'm 43 today, happily married for 18 years, and no longer chasing skirts, yet I'm still obsessed with a guitar and blasting Slipknot or Meshuggah more often than I don't
 
Get good enough at any genre of music, good enough to make millions, and you will do just fine! Even with the money though, I would conjecture that some women would still shy away from the extreme metal guys because they don't want to be a sacrifice 6 months from now (I know, not all extreme metalists are into Satan, but it was fun for me to type it) ;~))
 
Take this test. Correct answers are below:

1.What percentage of the members of this or any guitar forum do you estimate are women?

2. What musical instrument is more phallic in playing position than a guitar (OK, the cello is kind of phallic, I'll grant you, but it sits on the floor and doesn't count).

3. How many women do you know personally who want to spend their time watching you playing with your junk (BTW, if you know more than one or two, you really ought to share their contact info)?

4. How many male piano players go onstage without a shirt wearing goofy makeup (again, if you know any female piano players who do this, you have the obligation to share contact info)?

5. What percentage of women are turned on watching you engage in ambiguously sexual poses with the lead singer and bass player?

6. How many women get horny seeing guitar faces?

7. How many women want to go out on the street with you in your metal-studded leather pants, no shirt, and makeup?

Correct answers:

1. Less than one percent

2. None.

3. You don't know any, ya big liar.

4. None.

5. Less than one percent.

6. None.

7. A couple, if you're lucky, and are into women with nose rings and tattoos that say, "Born to raise hell." Come to think of it, you oughta share that contact info, too.

How many did you get right?

So. You want to know who gets the girls? We, the subtle, the irresistible; we, the piano players get the girls. It's always been this way, and it will be this way until a better device that attracts the opposite sex is invented.

We don't know why this is the case (there is a theory that a piano is catnip for women, but it's largely anecdotal); we just know it's true, largely from many generations of experience.

Hint: A synthesizer ain't it. An organ? It only worked for Gregg Allman, and it obviously killed him. No, gentlemen, it's the piano. ;)
 
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László said:
Take this test. Correct answers are below:

2. What musical instrument is more phallic in playing position than a guitar (OK, the cello is kind of phallic, I'll grant you, but it sits on the floor and doesn't count).

Correct answers:

2. None.
Click to expand...

I dunno...can we talk about the bassoon here? Phallic, AND it looks like you're....umm, never mind. :oops:
 
FragileThunder said:
I dunno...can we talk about the bassoon here? Phallic, AND it looks like you're....umm, never mind. :oops:
Click to expand...
But the bassoon has that fish-hook shaped attachment for the mouthpiece. So I'd say nah.

I suppose you could go with clarinet, but it's really too far detached from the applicable position relative to the body for serious consideration.

Then, too, you don't find very many metal clarinetists.
 
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