And Now For Something Completely Different!

[László]

Seriously Terrible Tone? Yes!

I have an Eventide H9 Max, and they've just released a new software version with a distortion algorithm. Now, I love Eventide gear, and I particularly love my H9, but I couldn't imagine how they've got a digital box to do distortion well. Still, my trust in Eventide knows no bounds, so I dutifully downloaded the new version, thinking WTF, it's free for me anyway.

First program up was some kind of gigantic arena rock tone that was so loud, so digital, and so utterly unresponsive to the guitar's volume knob that I nearly screamed in pain and frustration! I went through all of the patches. Not one responded to the volume knob. Turn the knob down and the distortion stays exactly the same, and the only thing that happens is that the sound gets smaller, until, with the guitar at around 2-3, it simply cuts out.

All of these patches sounded about as authentic as a...wait a second, they didn't really sound authentic at all.

Only one was cool, it was a patch that was designed to sound like a broken piece of gear. They did a great job with that one. If you want that broken gear sound, well, you have it now. I dug it.

But for the rest, stick to your analog dirt boxes, boys.

If I was stuck on a desert island with electricity, a guitar, and a single dirt box, and it was this dirt box, I'd play clean for the rest of my life.

 

[Dusty Chalk]

I have yet to hear a decent digital distortion, but this...this I gotta hear, it sounds particularly horrible. Please?

But it can be done, don't you agree? It just hasn't yet. It can be recorded digitally -- we know this. I realize it's a big leap to go from "it can be recorded, and played back" to "put something in the middle to change what comes in to what goes out", but it's not an unrealistic leap. My college professor (computer science) would repeat constantly: treat all problems like a black box, it's just a matter of figuring out the third thing from the other two -- the inputs, the outputs, and the transfer function. If you know two of them, just keep trying things until you get the third. I mean, that's what the Kemperer does, innit?

I haven't yet had a seriously bad tone, but I almost bought a Korg Miku pedal, until I found out it was tracking and playing back (hint hint -- maybe that's what the H9 is doing?), rather than actually modulating the input with formant filters and whatnot...:

 

[Ovibos]

Ow, my ribs hurt.

 

[Ovibos]

And with a PRS:

 

[sergiodeblanc]

Clips or it's a Klon. :tongue:

 

[László]

Clips or it's a Klon. :tongue:

Hahaha!

No. I refuse to hear those sounds again!

 

[László]

I want the miku stomp. It's brilliant! I mean obviously it's just a fun thing,

I don't get the inclusion of the confederate flag song thing in this thread at all! Whaaa?

 

[Tosca]

Clips or it's a Klon. :tongue:

 

[Dusty Chalk]

^

I want the miku stomp. It's brilliant! I mean obviously it's just a fun thing,

Agreed, I do kind of still want one. Just put it first in the chain (because any effects before it are wasted) as if you're running a synthesizer through a guitar chain.

 

[Ovibos]

I always say:

It's funny... is it $130 funny?

 

[László]

I always say:

It's funny... is it $130 funny?

Ah, but there is always a price to be paid for a few laughs, my friend!

This is true of both comedians and hookers.

 

[jfb]

Win.

 

[Huggy Love]

My kid is into the anime phase of life and I thought the Miku pedal would blow her mind. I showed her the vid earlier this year and she was "meh" about it, I thought it was hilarious.