My band story

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Sorry, WAY too much to post in someone elses thread. (Sorry Aahzz) so I'm copying it over here, and deleting it there.

Oh dang! Sorry, forgot about this.

So, a few years back, a friend of mine calls me and says "how would you like to play in my band?" He knows I won't play bars, so I'm curious enough to ask what "his band" is. Turns out, the pastor at his church has been a "singer songwriter" for years, and has actually performed solo for years. But in putting together music for his church, he got several members to form a band at the church. So my friend (who is a good drummer) and another member who was a good bass player and the pastor decided to start playing their music at other churches, youth activities etc. After playing solo all of his life, the pastor starts liking the idea of having his own real band, but quickly realizes that bass, drums and acoustic guitar is not quite enough. So Matt tells him that he should get me to play lead and rhythm electric guitar to complete the band. Matt says he wants me to come and audition, so I do. This guy has written all his own music for years, so I've never heard any of the songs, so what they decided to do, was their normal practice, but me just jump in as soon as I felt I could.

They were simple songs structurally, and he had written out words and chord chart, so I basically listened to one verse and then jumped in. All I did was play along on electric because he was so used to playing by himself, there was no place built in for solos. So, that practice goes very well, but then it's over. And once it's over, the drummer decides he and I should have some fun. Now, at this point, I've done nothing but strum some clean chords for the songs.

I quickly figured out that my buddy was trying to show them a little more of what I "do" because he immediately started launching into Led Zeppelin, then Rush, then Van Halen etc. Well, the bass player (very good player) jumps in and before you know it we're playing song after song and the leader is not playing, he's just sitting and watching and loving every minute of it. I mean he's yelling and cheering while we're playing and just really getting into it. After about an hour of this, he says "look, I had someone already chosen for this spot but Matt told me I had to hear you first and I want you in the band. Will you play with us?" I told him that I was very interested, just needed a bit more info on what, where and how often they wanted to play out. He said that was great and we'd talk during the week and he'd see me at practice next week.

When I got to practice the next week, the music sheets had all changed. He had put guitar solos in every song, and some times, multiple solos. So we'd play through them and I'd start soloing and a couple times he'd just stop. He said "I didn't expect you to have a solo already, since I just put these in there tonight." He was surprised that I could just jump into a song I barely knew and throw solos on it. But it wasn't long and he was saying "you're holding back. I want you to play more like you did when you guys were jamming." I told him that I was trying to play solos that fit with the original vibe of the songs, which were really like Christian Folk music. He said "put ROCK on the end of that, and play like that." We practiced for a month and every week, the songs became more and more rock, and less folk. He was the one pushing it. He said he wasn't used to playing with a band and never had so much fun in his life playing his songs. He said he loved what we were doing with them and that he had multiple gigs booked for us already.

At two months in for weekly practice, the songs had completely transformed from folk music to rock, blues/rock. Every song had solos, one song had a 2 minute guitar solo intro... I was having a blast. He had a photographer come in a take band photos, printed up posters and flyers, and then one week he had a digital recorder hooked into the mixer and said he was going to record our practice. We had a GREAT practice and we were rocking that night.

The next day... (continued next post)
 
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The next day, I get a call from my friend the drummer. I can tell something is wrong. He kept talking about silly stuff and it was very obvious he was not comfortable. Finally I said "Matt, what the heck is wrong with you?" He said "Gordon (band leader) is freaking out and says you can't be in the band anymore. He can't even tell you himself, he's so disappointed, and he made me do it." I said that didn't make any sense, and why in the world would he want me out of the band.

His reply: He took the practice recordings home last night and was so excited to show his wife how good we were sounding and how excited he was about the band. He played two songs and his wife was just staring at him and said "that doesn't even sound like your music anymore." He was so crushed that he decided he needed to regroup and go back to just the 3 of them and no electric guitar. I told Matt that I was very disappointed after all the time I put in, and all the fun we were having, but the worst part was, all I EVER did, was what he asked me to do. I didn't ask to play solos or to add more and more. I didn't ask to pick the tempo of the songs up. I didn't ask for a Van Halen-ish guitar solo leading into one of the songs... he pushed me to play more and more, and to rock more and more, and I just did what he ask. Matt said he agreed 100% and so did the leader, but he was so excited that when his wife was completely disappointed he just kind of threw up his hands and almost said "no more band" at all. But, he figured with just bass and drums, they could go back to the original arrangements.

Story not over: After playing for a few week without an electric guitar in the band, he didn't like it anymore, so he went and found a country/folk player and the band stayed with that lineup for over a year.

Then I get the call: "Gordon wants you back in the band. We've been playing for 2 years without you and he's never been happy. He wants you back right now and we will go back to playing the songs the way we ended up playing them. He's been telling his wife for a year now that he could always do his solo stuff but this band was special and what he'd always wanted. So I got to a rehearsal. After the first rehearsal, I had to leave quickly, but they all said they had to stay around to discuss plans. I didn't know what plans...

By second rehearsal, we were 100% back to where we'd left off. Rockin and tight. After the third rehearsal, the leader says "ok we need to discuss plans for this gig because it's only a month away now." I didn't know what they were talking about so I sat down to listen. Turns out, there is a HUGE festival that happens out west somewhere (big time, I can't remember it now but had heard of it before) and it's like some Woodstock type thing. Outdoors, band after band after band, for like 3 days! A BIG deal. I said "wait guys, I didn't know anything about this and I can't take a week of work for that with this short of notice." The band leader said "we all talked about this a few weeks ago" but then I pointed out it was the night I had to rush out right after practice. He goes into panic mode... "we can't go to our biggest gig ever with no guitar player" and I just don't know what to say. I told them that I simply could not get off work for a week, had my vacations already planned, and offered that they were going to have to find another guitar player and do that gig.

They quickly got the country guy back in the band and they actually did the gig. After it was over, we were to resume with me in the band, but...Turns out, I found out the whole truth. This pastor had done that huge festival before, as a solo act. But he was requesting to get them in as a group and the lineup was pretty full. They said he'd have to send them a demo tape of at least a couple songs and they'd let him know. The word he got back (Matt showed me the email) was "if that is your current band, we'll get you in for a full set, main stage and in the evening prime time."

The problem was, the demo tape he sent was from when I was playing with the band. That's why he so urgently wanted me back in the band. When Matt told me this, I left the band. I was flattered that he wanted me back so badly and said those things, but now wasn't trusting that he wasn't only wanting me back for that one big gig, and because he'd sent demo's of us and figured he'd better deliver that band lineup.
 
The drummer is one of my good friends. He and I wanted to play music together for years, and when he first asked me I was only thinking I'd go check it out but it wasn't going to be something I wanted to commit a lot of time too. Then, like I said, the leader kept rocking things up more and more and it was REALLY getting fun. My story was already to long so I left out a lot of details, but the idea was, we'll have a "really toned down" way we play songs if we're playing at a church that wants that. A mid level way of playing them, where that was more appropriate, and a rocking out way of playing them for whatever gigs we could do that. By the end of one months practice, the leader was so into it that he was saying he wasn't even going to take more than a couple gigs a year unless they were gigs we could rock out with. I mean, his whole mindset changed in just a few weeks. He was ALL ABOUT playing at places that would let us rock out. And I guess the whole time, his wife didn't really know anything about it. When she heard it, after years of hearing him and his Martin playing his songs folkie style and then hearing them turned into rock and roll freaked her out. He was into it, totally, until that. Then she freaked him out. And... DTR out. LOL

When he sent me an email, it was very remorseful and honestly, he was sort of crushed that this band he had that he thought was great one minute, was suddenly something his wife didn't approve of the next. I know that the second time, after I left the band, I really didn't feel good about it and wasn't sure it was the right thing to do, but they had a major gig and needed to find someone else quick, and I was under the impression that I was only invited back because he had sent them a demo tape of me playing and the band had changed dramatically from what it was when that demo was made... and that he feared getting a bad rep for showing up with a very different band. So I got spooked and this time I left.

They did the big gig out west. Got to play all three days. When they got back, I waited to see if they called me to ask me to reconsider, because the original plan was for me to be back in after that gig, but when I left I told them I felt bad about leaving them hanging for this gig and it wasn't fair to get someone else to learn all the songs etc only to be a temporary gig, and them be out after a few weeks. When they got the guy that replaced me the first time, he already knew the songs. He left the band once (for a country band gig). So I thought maybe since he was officially just a fill in and wasn't leaving his country band, they would ask me to reconsider. They did.

But I decided not too. The thing that hurt me the worst about being "kicked out" the first time, was that we had a youth festival booked that was a pretty big deal. I was going go be on a bill with Jacob's Dream and even Disciple! (Both of whom I've seen often). I viewed it as my chance to be "heard" and to play with bands I really liked and went to see many times, and now I was going to be on the same stage as them! That gig was only two months away when I was removed. Even though I understood what happened, I was really hurt by it, and hurt by what I perceived as "missing my big chance" to be on a bill with some really well known bands. A chance at this point, I'm pretty sure I'll never have again.

So, enough of my stories. After I didn't rejoin the band, my friend the drummer and the bass player both left the band. Band, over. I THINK I may have a recording of one of the bands songs when done with the country guy... and maybe a video of the band when I played it. If I can find both tonight, I'll link them so you can see some of the contrasts in the band as it progressed.
 
Sounds like so many experiences. I've been there, it's not a great feeling but we have to live for those awesome musical moments. That's the spice and win. It's when the band isn't playing that these weird situations happen. Good you had the chance to do...something!
 
I have a whole CD of the bands music “after DTR.” The song I have the video of, is not on that CD though. I wanted to kind of show the differences to support the story some, but it looks like I don’t have the same song on both. I’m hesitant to put one of the CD songs on sound cloud or something, since it’s not my music.
 
Then again, I realize that this story is probably only interesting or meaningful to one person and he wrote it so, mostly boring and long winded to everyone else. :)
(Probably should be deleted)
 
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Then again, I realize that this story is probably only interesting or meaningful to one person and he wrote it so, mostly boring and long winded to everyone else. :)
(Probably should be deleted)
I found it amusing as I have had some really interesting situations as well.

For instance...............I was in a traveling band a whole bunch of years ago. We had a really good drummer, freaky good. The problem was he was a complete flake.

This is no joke..........he had a major hemorrhoid issue but he would go to local ER to get pain meds to deal with it. Serious pain meds. So he was always messed up plus he would sell some. It happened over and over and over.

Long after that band was done, he was arrested and convicted of altering prescriptions. Surprise surprise. He was weird and always said inappropriate things at the drop of a hat.
 
Great story DTR, but I sure wish it had a happier ending! At least you had a chance to have some fun and I am sure learned a lesson or two along the way!! Incredible that a man of God is letting his wife dictate his musical choices, she obviously is not a music lover (and I would question the love of her husband as well)!!!
 
I found it amusing as I have had some really interesting situations as well.

For instance...............I was in a traveling band a whole bunch of years ago. We had a really good drummer, freaky good. The problem was he was a complete flake.

This is no joke..........he had a major hemorrhoid issue but he would go to local ER to get pain meds to deal with it. Serious pain meds. So he was always messed up plus he would sell some. It happened over and over and over.

Long after that band was done, he was arrested and convicted of altering prescriptions. Surprise surprise. He was weird and always said inappropriate things at the drop of a hat.

My buddy's band used to have a drummer like that. Stupid good, but complete flake. They were limited in some places they could play because he'd wrapped his kit using a shower curtain that was nothing but naked boobs, so they were stuck in bars that would tolerate the boob drums. One night they were in the middle of Skynyrd's "I Know a Little" and he just stopped playing. They fumbled through the second half of the songs with no drums, and turned to look at him, he just said "I was tired, man".

Found out soon after the tired incident that he'd gotten hooked on morphine, and was also selling it. He had already been replaced as the drummer when he got arrested and sent away for a long time.
 
Then again, I realize that this story is probably only interesting or meaningful to one person and he wrote it so, mostly boring and long winded to everyone else. :)
(Probably should be deleted)
It's not long-winded at all. It's interesting, and it's also a very human story.

While I haven't had a bad band experience, I found that working with a band was a lot like herding cats, and it became more complex after college, when people started having real lives that had to be accommodated.

Still, when a band is working well, it's a great feeling.
 
Great story DTR, but I sure wish it had a happier ending! At least you had a chance to have some fun and I am sure learned a lesson or two along the way!! Incredible that a man of God is letting his wife dictate his musical choices, she obviously is not a music lover (and I would question the love of her husband as well)!!!
Knowing him as well as I did, I don’t thing that was much of the issue. This guy gigged for years as a solo act. So he had many songs he’d written, and his wife had heard him play for years as a guitar/vocal solo act, and most of his songs were either slower ballads, or folk style arrangements. I can see where she’d be more than a little shocked after hearing his solo act for 20 years and then hearing what we did to one of those songs. The one in particular went from folk to rock in 4 weeks. EVERY week it got more and more aggressive. I can see her being surprised when she heard it. It was the reaction to that, that I didn’t like. I didn’t make them rock songs, I just did what I was told. He liked what he heard so he kept pushing for faster tempo, more aggressive strum patterns for me, and the bass, more guitar solos, etc. And told Matt when it happened, that we could back it down some if we needed too, but don’t blame me and kick me out of the band like I’m some bad influence or like I ruined his tunes or something! That too, was part of my reason for bailing the second time. I went in already a bit apprehensive right from the start, so when I found out about the big festival and that the demo he sent was the band with me, I really felt he was just inviting me back because they sounded SO different from the demo he sent and he figured they may not be please if he showed up with a completely different sounding band.

My buddy Matt that I’ve been talking about, is a veteran, and he has had some very serious issue with PTSD the last few years. Kept blacking out and falling and busted his head badly (hit granite countertop once, and bathtub once) and now has some brain damage. A couple years ago, they said he probably only had a couple years to live. He’s developed a terrible stutter, and had to sell all of his (VERY NICE!) drums. He had to quit working and is on disability and all he wants to do now is play music but he can’t play acoustic drums any more. He said he’d hit a drum and it would literally scare him. Once he hit one and panicked. So now he’s gone to quite a big electronic set of drums. He hated them at first, but quickly figured out that, since he could control the volume, this was THE ONLY way he could keep playing. Considering his issues, he still plays really well, but not like he used too. I’m going to ask him if it’s OK to put up a couple of his YouTube videos.

He plays along with songs on cd, and records them. At first I kept noticing his timing was seeming a bit off but found out he had a phone recording the video sitting right next to him, with music playing from a stereo almost 12’ away. So the two sources of sound were 12’ apart. He moved the speakers closer and it seems better now. I’m going to get his OK, then I’ll link up a few of his videos in the thread so whoever wants, can check them out.
 
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Then again, I realize that this story is probably only interesting or meaningful to one person and he wrote it so, mostly boring and long winded to everyone else. :)
(Probably should be deleted)
It read like erotica to me. I’ve daydreamed and prayed to be kicked out of every band I’ve ever been in, and it never happened.
 
My are the run of the mill stories. Man likes woman guitar player so much so that he steps into said studio to start chatting and then the harasses woman into going for a drink. I kept on saying NO means NO but then he got grabby trying to touch me . I had my cowboy boots I let them fly where the sun don’t shine. Picked up my gear and left.
 
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