WTF Gig Stories...

[sergiodeblanc]

Actually yes. During a guitar solo she did that so people knew what was happening.

It was wild watching people come up and put their hands on the subs under the stage to feel everything. Rather fulfilling seeing them enjoy that.

Yeah! My mom worked for like, a park district type place that offered programs and events for people with various disabilities (or I guess we just say abilities now).

She asked me one day if I wanted to go to a concert for deaf people they were putting on, and like the snide, privileged, little s**t I was, I said “hell yeah”.

Wow! Awesome! One of the coolest most mind opening experiences! There were varying degrees of deafness in the audience, but every single one of those people were gettin’ down! The dance floor was packed for hours and their moves were as on time and as on point as any white wedding dance floor.

I remembered that experience when she took me to go see soccer for the blind. That sh!t was so hardcore, and not at all what I expected either.

 

[Boogie]

Best worst gig ever: The Hacienda in Columbus, Indiana.

Here’s an old post to prep the story…

Vintage red vinyl booths.
Asbestos-based flooring from the 50s
Small-ish stage w/ crime scene-esque mystery stains in carpet.
All the drinks we could drink (only the singer drank)
Chicken wire had been removed only months before.

All the makings for a kick @ss night at a place that appreciates a tight cover band!

First set was awesome. Not a full house at all, about 40%. People were eating dinner and getting tanked-up for the evening. The calm before the storm.

Set 2: still no dancers but gained a heckler. Apparently I repeated a verse in Just Got Paid, this guy’s fav song, and I ruined it. Hey, the guitar work KILLED and Mr. Clean sounded awesome, but did that count for anything? No. Then, at break, this dude confronts our singer on his way to the bar for a refresh. First, don’t get between Jeremy and his double Crown and Coke. Second, he’s 6’ 6” and, well, thirsty. They exchanged words, though Jeremy was quite restrained and avoided a real confrontation and walked briskly to the bar.

Back story: after the rest of the went down, we found out this “Dude” was fresh out of the pokey. He was there with his girlfriend, drinking it up, and wanted to fight. Didn’t matter with whom, just needed to do the hillbilly shuffle on someone’s face.

Set 3: If I do say so myself, we were on fire. Dance floor filled up, drinks were flowing and the manager gave us the thumbs up from the bar. Great time. Then, it happened. We didn’t know what ‘it’ was but the place emptied like they were giving out free meth and Mountain Dew in the parking lot. We decided to go find the reason for the commotion.

Dude picked a fight with some poor guy there with his pregnant girlfriend. Dude hits on the girlfriend and that kicked off the fight. Dude pulls out brass knuckles and the rest of the crowd jumps him! In the ruckus, Dude elbows the pregnant girlfriend in the stomach. Boyfriend goes bat sh@t crazy on Dude while the crowd held him down. Then the cops came. Correction, ALL the cops came.

Ambulance took preggo girlfriend to hospital, freshly sprung Dude headed back to jail, and we went back inside to finish set 4 to an empty bar.

Moral: if a drunk excon starts a fight before you finish set 4, the cops will scare off the dancing girls. Playing to an empty dance floor is way less entertaining.

 

[Permanent Waves]

My WTF experiences usually relate to dealings with management at venues. We got a booking at a large local pub that frequently had bands, and were told they had sound, lights, and technician included. On the night before the gig, they called us to let us know they don't have a soundman or mics, so we scramble to get them last minute. We show up and turns out they have no PA or lights either - just a 12-channel console (with 4 bad channels) plugged into the wall speakers in the venue, and no monitors. The soundman did a great job salvaging this mess with what he had so I gave him my cut and we managed to have a good night and turnout. At the end, the owner paid up and asked if we wanted to come back the next night. I told him no before he even finished his sentence. He actually seemed surprised. This is how I learned the difference between a "live venue" and "a pub that has bands".

 

[Deleted member 5962]

Actually yes. During a guitar solo she did that so people knew what was happening.

It was wild watching people come up and put their hands on the subs under the stage to feel everything. Rather fulfilling seeing them enjoy that.

I’ve seen that happen. We used to have a van full of people who were deaf who came to our church, and a sign language interpreter would stand in front of them and sign everything. During congregational hymns and choir specials, she’d sign the words to the songs, but during orchestra specials, she’d play air violin.

 

[László]

"I want more drums," said the ad agency's producer during a session. So I had the drummer get hand percussion, and we recorded that. Takes some time, and we mix them in. How's that?

"More drums!" demanded the producer. So had had the drummer play a busier part, doubling his first take. "How's that?"

"I need more drums," the producer said again.

By this time, I'm frustrated. I'm also blowing up studio time on the clock like it's water. And studio charges come out of my budget, not the agency's.

"We pulled out every drum in the place, man, we played the busiest parts we could. There are so many drums on this recording that it's almost crazy."

"I really need more drums," said the producer. I'm thinking, f#ck, the dude wants kettle drums and we haven't got any. I mean, he's right there in the control room with me, there isn't much I can complain to the engineer about in front of the guy.

Then a lightbulb went on in my tiny brain. I pushed the faders up on the drum bus, making the drums...louder.

"Is that what you meant by 'more drums'," I asked?

"Oh yeah, that's working for me now."



This little lesson in client communication cost me a grand in studio time. WTF.

 

[aphantomvaper]

"I want more drums," said the ad agency's producer during a session. So I had the drummer get hand percussion, and we recorded that. Takes some time, and we mix them in. How's that?

"More drums!" demanded the producer. So had had the drummer play a busier part, doubling his first take. "How's that?"

"I need more drums," the producer said again.

By this time, I'm frustrated. I'm also blowing up studio time on the clock like it's water. And studio charges come out of my budget, not the agency's.

"We pulled out every drum in the place, man, we played the busiest parts we could. There are so many drums on this recording that it's almost crazy."

"I really need more drums," said the producer. I'm thinking, f#ck, the dude wants kettle drums and we haven't got any. I mean, he's right there in the control room with me, there isn't much I can complain to the engineer about in front of the guy.

Then a lightbulb went on in my tiny brain. I pushed the faders up on the drum bus, making the drums...louder.

"Is that what you meant by 'more drums'," I asked?

"Oh yeah, that's working for me now."



This little lesson in client communication cost me a grand in studio time. WTF.

Shoot Les, I've has that type of stuff happen so many times its not funny. IT support though not music production. I've learn to gently interrogate before taking action because invariably the problem they are having and what's actually going on are very different.

You came out looking good and sounding better! Well done!

 

[dogrocketp]

I’m playing a club in Massachusetts in a band with stud musicians, faculty from Berklee and New England Conservatory. I notice a lot of people coming in and disappearing. Three women are on the dance floor. Middle of the first set, we’re told to pack up and go right away. It seems there was a very large illegal gambling club in the back. We were the front. We got out of there in a damn big hurry. Then the cops came.

 

[László]

Shoot Les, I've has that type of stuff happen so many times its not funny. IT support though not music production. I've learn to gently interrogate before taking action because invariably the problem they are having and what's actually going on are very different.

You came out looking good and sounding better! Well done!

Well, it was kind of a weird situation; as the composer and music producer, I was pretty happy with what I was hearing.

But speaking of gentle interrogation, here's one:

An agency creative director said, "We want the 450 cubic inch engine with the hemi and the solid lifters."

I said, "Can you maybe give me a genre so I can get started."

"I just did! I want the 450 cubic inch engine with the hemi and the solid lifters. Don't keep asking! You know what that is!"

I just winged it. WTF. Clients were happy. Many years later, I still have no idea what he really wanted, but whatever I sent worked, so all ended well.

 

[Alnus Rubra]

A bikers club house. I should have known when we pulled up and it was a private residential house that had been turned into a club. Metal railings on the windows.

We played the gig in what was the lounge of this house. It went well and the club were happy with our performance, thankfully!

After we’d packed up, we went up to the office at the end of the night to get paid.

A rather large dude in a leather waistcoat and tattoos handed the drummer our cash. He turned to me and said:

“Do you want a light?”

I replied politely:

“No thanks, I don’t smoke”

And we left.

Out in the car park, the drummer started laughing at me. I asked him what was so funny. He told me that I hadn’t heard what the guy in the waistcoat had said to me.

The drummer told me:

“He said, do you want a line?”

I was still not getting it. He told me that the guy was offering me cocaine. He also said there was a large bag of powder on the desk. I was so naïve!

I just got my money and got the heck out of there. I’m pretty sure we never played there again.

 

[alantig]

Shoot Les, I've has that type of stuff happen so many times its not funny. IT support though not music production. I've learn to gently interrogate before taking action because invariably the problem they are having and what's actually going on are very different.

This, exactly. I think the best advice I ever got in my career was after I'd worked a project for someone and they requested more changes. I kind of complained to my boss that they didn't ask for this stuff the first time around, and he said, "Don't give them what they ask for, give them what they want." I said they should have told me what they wanted, and he said, "The problem is they don't know what they want. They think they do, but they don't understand what they're really asking for. That's where you come in." Man, since then, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard, "I didn't think about that..." when discussing a change, I could retire.

 

[Tony M.]

"Can you make it sound like a washing machine?"

"Yes, I can do that."

 

[JasonE]

I had a gig about 5 years ago in a restaurant that had a bar. They have an area where they remove the tables and the bands setup there. Out in front of this area, once the tables are moved, is a small bar area that people will sit at. In the middle of the gig a woman walks up and sets on a stool right at the end of the bar facing us. She pulls her dress up and positions herself with her crotch pointing at us. She didn't have anything on under the dress. The bass player and I noticed it but our singer didn't. He finished the song and turned around to drink some water. I walked up next to him and told him to lower his mic. I then told him to check out the chick in front of us when he turned back around. We started the next song and he started singing while facing the drummer. When he turned around and saw the beaver shot he got tongue tied and started tripping on the lyrics and couldn't get the words to come out of his mouth correctly. We just kept playing and started laughing at him. It was freaking hilarious.

 

[sergiodeblanc]

I was running sound for a hardcore band named Murphy’s Law (arf arf arf) in the basement of a record store, when someone dropped a .22 on the floor right in the middle of a pit (slam dancing).

People were straight up kicking it around! I had to stop the show and pick it up, nobody claimed it.

 

[Texas_minor_blues]

"I want more drums," said the ad agency's producer during a session. So I had the drummer get hand percussion, and we recorded that. Takes some time, and we mix them in. How's that?

"More drums!" demanded the producer. So had had the drummer play a busier part, doubling his first take. "How's that?"

"I need more drums," the producer said again.

By this time, I'm frustrated. I'm also blowing up studio time on the clock like it's water. And studio charges come out of my budget, not the agency's.

"We pulled out every drum in the place, man, we played the busiest parts we could. There are so many drums on this recording that it's almost crazy."

"I really need more drums," said the producer. I'm thinking, f#ck, the dude wants kettle drums and we haven't got any. I mean, he's right there in the control room with me, there isn't much I can complain to the engineer about in front of the guy.

Then a lightbulb went on in my tiny brain. I pushed the faders up on the drum bus, making the drums...louder.

"Is that what you meant by 'more drums'," I asked?

"Oh yeah, that's working for me now."



This little lesson in client communication cost me a grand in studio time. WTF.

This honestly made me laugh out loud communication is such a funny thing

 

[jak3af3r]

Here's another downtown Nashville story:

Our load in time used to be 3:30 in the afternoon for a 6-10 show. Downtown parking is terrible so you either park at a meter or get gouged in a garage.

We always loaded in the back and parked at a meter on Gay St. The maximum time you could do was 2 hours so after soundcheck, I'd walk back up the street and get long enough to get to 6 when the parking was free.


This particular day I was walking back down the hill towards town and I hear running behind me. Naturally, I move off to the sidewalk to let the runner pass. However, this time, the footsteps slowed as they got closer.

I hear "Hi!" very enthusiastically and turn around to find a man wearing a football jersey of no team affiliation, super tight pants, and running shoes.

The guy is of Asian descent with a very thick German accent and says he has moved here recently from Germany and is looking to find "fun guys."

I'm trying to figure out if he means what I think he means or if it's a translation thing. And he eventually says "well this IS gay street, right?"

So I direct him towards a nearby club he may be interested in hoping he'd be excited and leave.

Nope.

I get invited multiple times to go back to the car and "just talk."

I think I ended up just walking away.


Fast forward a month or two later. Same gig. We're playing and it's getting towards the end of the night and the dude comes in and stands right up on the edge of the stage where I am.

The singer comes on the TalkBack during a guitar solo to ask if I know the guy so I briefly explain the story and he left before we were done, thankfully.

Later on I find out from a local musicians FB group he had been arrested for prostitution.

 

[Alnus Rubra]

Here's another downtown Nashville story:

Our load in time used to be 3:30 in the afternoon for a 6-10 show. Downtown parking is terrible so you either park at a meter or get gouged in a garage.

We always loaded in the back and parked at a meter on Gay St. The maximum time you could do was 2 hours so after soundcheck, I'd walk back up the street and get long enough to get to 6 when the parking was free.


This particular day I was walking back down the hill towards town and I hear running behind me. Naturally, I move off to the sidewalk to let the runner pass. However, this time, the footsteps slowed as they got closer.

I hear "Hi!" very enthusiastically and turn around to find a man wearing a football jersey of no team affiliation, super tight pants, and running shoes.

The guy is of Asian descent with a very thick German accent and says he has moved here recently from Germany and is looking to find "fun guys."

I'm trying to figure out if he means what I think he means or if it's a translation thing. And he eventually says "well this IS gay street, right?"

So I direct him towards a nearby club he may be interested in hoping he'd be excited and leave.

Nope.

I get invited multiple times to go back to the car and "just talk."

I think I ended up just walking away.


Fast forward a month or two later. Same gig. We're playing and it's getting towards the end of the night and the dude comes in and stands right up on the edge of the stage where I am.

The singer comes on the TalkBack during a guitar solo to ask if I know the guy so I briefly explain the story and he left before we were done, thankfully.

Later on I find out from a local musicians FB group he had been arrested for prostitution.

Always get paid up front!

 

[Sybo]

Here's another downtown Nashville story:

Our load in time used to be 3:30 in the afternoon for a 6-10 show. Downtown parking is terrible so you either park at a meter or get gouged in a garage.

We always loaded in the back and parked at a meter on Gay St. The maximum time you could do was 2 hours so after soundcheck, I'd walk back up the street and get long enough to get to 6 when the parking was free.


This particular day I was walking back down the hill towards town and I hear running behind me. Naturally, I move off to the sidewalk to let the runner pass. However, this time, the footsteps slowed as they got closer.

I hear "Hi!" very enthusiastically and turn around to find a man wearing a football jersey of no team affiliation, super tight pants, and running shoes.

The guy is of Asian descent with a very thick German accent and says he has moved here recently from Germany and is looking to find "fun guys."

I'm trying to figure out if he means what I think he means or if it's a translation thing. And he eventually says "well this IS gay street, right?"

So I direct him towards a nearby club he may be interested in hoping he'd be excited and leave.

Nope.

I get invited multiple times to go back to the car and "just talk."

I think I ended up just walking away.


Fast forward a month or two later. Same gig. We're playing and it's getting towards the end of the night and the dude comes in and stands right up on the edge of the stage where I am.

The singer comes on the TalkBack during a guitar solo to ask if I know the guy so I briefly explain the story and he left before we were done, thankfully.

Later on I find out from a local musicians FB group he had been arrested for prostitution.