My changing attitude toward PRS

[László]

He he he, very good Les.
But we need pics of the mistress or it did not happen.

 

[DM426]

That's an artist top, for sure.

 

[László]

That's an artist top, for sure.

Yup. Private Stock, if only. LOL

 

[blaren]

I love my PRSs. Sold a '64 ES335 that I never played and thought hey...this might be my chance to try one of those PRSs. I had heard about them and seen them in the magazines but I've always lived in small towns with, if any..only small music stores. No way they'd EVER have a PRS. The first time I heard of them was...

My buddy/co-worker had recently been in Vancouver and he was telling me about a trip to a guitar store. He saw these incredibly beautiful "Paul Reed Smith" electric guitars in a glass showcase. One was a "Dragon" model that had amazing inlays and woods. As he was standing there drooling, a store employee came up to him and asked him if he'd like to try one. George (an Indian guy..Canadian Indian not India Indian..with LONG curly black hair and like me, undoubtedly dressed like a misfit..this woulda been in maybe around '88????..we woulda been 24-ish around then..so it might have been earlier than '88???) replied to the salesman..."uhhh...No THANKS!! I can barely afford to LOOK at a 23 hundred dollar guitar..but MAN are those awesome..are they actually playable guitars?". Store guy says "...ummm you misread the hangtag. That says twenty-three THOUSAND dollars!!!!".

I have never been one to actually sample or test drive gear in stores that are full of 13 year old shredders that blow the doors off me with their eyes closed and ten busted fingers. I've been gigging for $ since I was 12 (for 36 years) and I'm still just a hack. It's kinda like when someone says..oh you speak Spanish? or ..oh you speak French? Say something!? I'm like...uhhhhhhhhhh...ummmmmmmmmmmm.....uhhuh uhhuh what do you want me to say? uhhuh uhhuh..? Just say ANYTHING.
Blank!!!!
So, I suck at playing and I would never really know WHAT TO play to test a guitar. And even when I do get new gear..a new guitar or a new amp or even just a pedal, I use it at home, I try it at rehearsal..and I can love it...but then when I use it at a gig...8/10 times, I'm like...WHAT?? Yeah I dont THINK so!! For some reason, the only way I can REALLY gauge a piece of gear is to gig with it.

Alright so...it's like...mmmm, 2005 or so and I'm thinking to myself, I should sell my ES335. It's worth a pile of dough and all it does is sit under my bed. I take it to the odd gig once in a while but I put it back on the stand after like 2 tunes. It was an awesome guitar but just wasnt really versatile enough for my band. I'd grab a bend on the G string somewhere and it was so sweet and sustainy that I'd nod-out on that note for like a half hour..and that's how long that beast would sustain for...hours!! BUT...I sure can't afford to have maybe around $7-$8K laying around. I should list it on eBay and see what it'll get. I could sell it and buy TWO PRS guitars and have some change left over. I knew I could get PRSs used on eBay for around a grand and I knew that at that price they were pretty liquid. I could buy two and whichever one I didnt like (or both) could be sold for at LEAST what I paid for it..all day.

Well it worked. I got almost $8K for the ES (before the crash..near the peak of guitar investment/speculation days) and I bought a '94 vCE24 for $900 and a 2003 McSoapy Standard for $1000. Of course at that time the US dollar was a lot stronger than the Canadian one so they did cost me substantially more than the USD sticker price..but I also got considerably more than $8K CAD for the ES so it works out I suppose.

The red CE24 arrived first. I had done lots of research but still didnt really know about the factory change and the small heel and the bolt-on and the Alder etc.
With it's WT 24 fret neck it was a perfect fit. This WT is VERY W and VERY T lol. It's actually SO thin and SO long that, like a fighter jet, it's pretty unstable. That and the fact that I'm such a caveman of a hack who possesses NO finesse who clearly cant play without pushing, pulling, twisting, squeezing, strangling that long spaghetti noodle CE neck, it couldnt be used to track rhythm guitar parts in the studio. That became quite evident after about the 3rd.."STOP...can't that thing stay in tune for like one minute??" from the engineer.
I had to use the McSoapy for all the rhythm tracks. The McSoapy that...arrived about a week after the CE. It had taken me a few weeks to finally find and actually WIN the two that I wanted..at the prices I wanted to pay. Evidently it took me a week or so longer to find the McSoapy.

Again, I didnt know about the heels and factories...or even the different switching, what "Standard" meant, or the neck carves.
The BLACK McSoapy is a heavy beast (one solid thick slab of hog) with a very beefy neck relative to the CE's. I was kind of disapointed that neither of my PRSs had that signature faux binding. Both were opaque but I could see the line that proved that the CE actually did have a maple top on it. When I swapped the bridge pup I looked at both cavities and saw that it had originally been a burst. That was crossed-out and Crimson Red (iirc) was written-in.
So I had 2 very different PRSs, neither of which had any visible figuring or that aesome faux binding. The McCarty Soapbar wasn't comfortable for me to play and I really, at that time, had no use for the soapbars. I liked it's bird inlays but thought I'd probably just sell it. I knew I'd have NO trouble getting the grand I paid for it back. Maybe I'd use that $ and some of the hunk of change from the sale of the ES to buy a "real" PRS. A CU24 with a WT neck and some flame on the top and that binding I loved so much.

Well here it is 2013. I still have both of those guitars. The CE was still my #1 gigger until my Wife bought me the Studio LAST Christmas (2011). It is now #1 and the CE is the back-up. The McCarty, a slide monster with it's nasty P90s.

I actually wish I played uglier guitars onstage..well not ugly but just not so sexy. Even though the Stood is the only one with the cool faux binding and some figuring, I almost feel "guilty" for playing guitars that have Paul's signature on the headstocks.
A few months ago I snagged a big BLACK hollow Gretsch with major sex appeal and was thinking mannnn...if I could play these instead of the PRSs...I mean these Gretsches are like costumes almost.
Well it was a little too flashy. Actually loved playing it and it sounded great...until I gigged with it. Nope...buh-bye.

Now I'm looking for a cheap SE cause I dont currently have a beater. My CE is kinda like a road-worn beater but it's still a PRS..and so is an SE. People wont know that it's a "budget" beater guitar. They'll only know that it's beautiful and says PRS on it so it's a Lawyer/Doctor guitar.

I still dress and look like a bum ..on and off stage. the only thing that doesnt match or fit my "brand", is that I play these super shiny and strikingly gorgeous guitars. Plus I'm a hack. I feel guilty playing my PRSs. My playing doesnt deserve PRS guitars.
Oh well. I guess people...and I will just have to get used to them. I've had worse troubles.

Sorry for the rant...only kind of this time though cause this thread was pretty ranty already.
What day is it? Sunday?..nope Monday.
Have a great Monday everyone!

 

[docbennett]

On the flipside, I feel like we're all in on a joke, like a secret that the rest of the guitar playing world doesn't know about. Let the haters hate, we know we're playing guitars of the highest quality, versatility, playability, responsiveness and best value for money.

I'd agree, except for the fact that, if I'm not mistaken, PRS has become the 3rd largest guitar manufactorer in the world. No? Lots of people in on the joke, to make up the volume that PRS produces.

 

[docbennett]

It was a cold Fall Saturday when I stepped out of my Mercedes Gelandewagen beater, and swept into the D&G Fancy & Boutique Guitar Shoppe (my Bentley was on the fritz).

"May I help you?" asked the beautifully dressed, attractive young woman who looked to be about 23, who greeted me at the door.

"Perhaps," I replied, my eyes darting around the lavish, dark mahogany paneling and marble floor, covered in authentic Persian rugs. "I'm looking for a gift...for myself. To celebrate my impossibly successful life, my 40th birthday, to make my partners and clients jealous, and to outdo everyone. I was thinking...instrument. Tell me," I said, "What are all the other very successful lawyers, doctors, dentists and scions of industry buying these days?"

"Well, the doctors are all buying violins. Do you play the violin?" she inquired.

"No, I play piano and guitar."

"Do you have a piano?" said the efficient and lovely hostess.

"Yes, a gloss black 6 foot grand," I answered. "Very impressive for the guests who come over."

"The scions of industry are generally buying Taylors," she said.

"The ones who built their own businesses, or the ones who inherited money," I asked.

"The self-made ones," she answered.

"Not interested," I said. "Johnny come latelys. I only compete with inherited wealth. Or people with professional educations. Better people, better taste."

"OK," she said. "How about a PRS?"

"A what?" I demanded.

"A PRS. It's very pretty, You can hang it on your wall and it will be every bit as impressive as your piano, once you have acquired several."

"Hmmm," I mused. "Show me one."

She opened the case, revealing a nice PRS with a plain top and moons. "Too basic," I said. "Have you got anything with, oh, winged creature inlays on the fingerboard, a fancier top, and perhaps a leather case?"

"I may have something special for you," she said with a wink. As she went back to the storeroom, I couldn't help but notice her stellar figure. I became warm and had to take off my cashmere coat and suede gloves. "Whew," I thought. "That is a very attractive young woman."

She came back holding a black leather presentation case. I was intrigued. When she opened the case, there sat something I could like: a PRS with birds and an Artist top. "Now we're talking," I said. "Tell me, who has one of these?" She reeled off the names of at least a dozen dentists and lawyers I knew. But none of them were as exclusively magnificent, or well bred, as I was. "Do you have anything better than this?" I inquired. I was certainly not going to impress anyone with a guitar that just any lawyer or dentist could afford!

"I do," she said. "But it's very expensive."

I flashed my American Express Platinum card.

"We don't take American Express," she said. "Only Visa and Mastercard."

"What kind of a place IS this?" I was aghast. I almost walked out. Then she showed me the Pièce de résistance. It was a Private Stock PRS, and in the same case, a matching, bespoke shotgun whose stock was made from the same wood as the PRS. I think they said it was some kind of pernambuco...I opened a special circular accessory case built into the guitar case; in it was a gold Rolex with a paisley face. Then I opened the rectangular accessory box, and inside was a paisley guitar strap, ascot, socks and underwear to match the watch face. To my delight, two Mont Blanc limited edition pens were also in the case, with paisley resin barrels and clips shaped like little...what do they call them on the internet now...oh yes, PRSi. The hoi polloi knows no Latin!

My eyes lit up. This would surely get them in the gut!

"I'll take it," I announced. "I'll take the whole set." My mind reeled; how was I ever going to get the whole case, with its contents, mounted on the wall for display? I realized I'd need a custom-built cabinet, where I could display the opened case, the guitar, the gun, the watch, and the other stuff. My next trip would have to be to Baker Furniture to place a special order! Something in hand rubbed Chippendale, with glass doors, I thought.

"Very good, sir. Shall I have it gift-wrapped and sent to your home?"

"No, I said absently. I'll send my valet around to pick it up at 4PM. I need to make another stop and don't want to leave it in the car. Might I ask...would you like to go out for a drink when your day is over?"

"No thank you," she said, "You're too freaking old, plus you're kind of creepy. But I appreciate your business."

"Ah," I said, disappointed. Later the following year, I guess she needed money, because she became my mistress, which pleased me no end. It's true. One day I got a call from her. "Are you the creepy guy who's around 40 that bought the overpriced guitar/shotgun/watch combination from me?"

"That sounds about right," I said. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I lost my job when I refused to sell something as lowly as Fenders, you see, they lost their PRS dealership. And now I'm broke. And very horny."

"Sounds like you need a sugar daddy," I said.

"Desperately," she answered. "The only skill I have besides selling rich guys overpriced instruments is, you know, in the bedroom." For some reason, I felt sorry for this foundling, and took her in.

"And that, Godfrey, is how I discovered PRS. To this day, my now-burgeoning PRS collection graces the cabinets and walls of my cigar room."

"And do you like playing them, Les?"

"Play them?!? Oh goodness, no, I don't actually...haha...I mean you must be kidding. They're for show. I don't wear the armor in the hallway, either."

"You never just, you know, tried the armor on, just for grins to see what it felt like to be a knight?"

"Godfrey, for goodness' sake. You know I WAS a knight; among other things, I fought in the War of the Roses throughout the 15th Century. That is my old armor. I know how it felt. It was hot. You wore padding and chain mail under it. And we only fought in summer! Can you imagine? One is sweating like a hog in a hot metal case, wearing layers of padding and mail, with almost no ventilation. You close the visor, can hardly see or hear a thing, and can only smell yourself. Ever gotten into a hot car in Florida that sat in the sun all day with the windows rolled up? It was godawful. But at least the wars got me out of the house and away from the wife. Say, would you like another absinthe?"

After Godfrey and I watched the green liquid pour into the glass, followed by the water dripping over the sugar in the spoon, we toasted each others' health with our glasses, and I said, "Godfrey, have I ever shown you my collection of rare hats that were once owned by the Emperor Napoleon? Oh yes, l'Empereur gave them to me himself back in the day when I saved his life after he came down with fever during the retreat from Moscow. I'd be very pleased to show you..."

Les....how much did you shell out in the '70's and '80's in family therapy to ensure that your kids turned out as productive and mentally healthy that they did?


And....how have you commemorated and remembered the hundreds of wives, thousands of mistresses and nation of offspring that you've produced in the the last 500+ years?

One day, I would like you to spend some time writing about what it was like to play one of the Stradavarious that were fresh out of production by Antonio.

Or, were you too busy those days working out the logistics of Da Vinci's inventions? Oh, I forgot....you WERE Da Vinci at that point in time, and you were personally responsible for the Rennaisance.

So is it true that "La Giocanda" was smiling because you cut a fart just after she sat down to model? Or was it that you were talking about your role in the Spanish Inquisition and she was merely being polite???

 

[László]

And....how have you commemorated and remembered the hundreds of wives, thousands of mistresses and nation of offspring that you've produced in the the last 500+ years?

Paintings. And taxidermy.

 

[jfb]

Paintings. And taxidermy.

 

[wilerty]

Classic, Les ... Classic. Always entertaining ...