Got banned from TGP, have no idea why...
- Thread starter phillybri
- Start date
alantig
Zombie Four, DFZ
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2012
- Messages
- 15,091
Replaced by General Abuse.
Ovibos
Naughty Wood Librarian
Yeah, you were in the wrong. Doesn’t matter if it’s your friend or “most people were OK with it.”
In high school, people threw quarters at my feet, daring me to pick them up and prove the stereotype correct.
D
Deleted member 5962
Guest
There is a difference between what is a good-natured joke and what is a main spirited jerk. I wasn’t there, but I don’t know how anyone who did that to you could claim it was a joke unless they were pretty close friends and you knew it was. If I got offended or got my feelings hurt every time someone made a redheaded or freckle face joke when I was growing up I would be a serial killer by now. Or an extremely poorly adjusted adult who is offended by everything. A friend joking with you is very different than someone picking on you
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Ovibos
Naughty Wood Librarian
If your friend is ok with that joke, you could make it with him. You can’t do it on a public forum - it’s not just your space.
Gtrbldr
Not a new member
- Joined
- May 21, 2021
- Messages
- 1,240
Which in turn was overruled bij president %@#*! (Make your pick)
I could write down a name, but that would mean a breach of rules about politics and result in a ban
.
JasonE
New Member
Let it go for a week. I think that is the typical temporary ban, especially if they haven't notified you. If it was something more serious it could be a 30 day ban. They banned Cliff from Fractal but it was temporary. I think he visits there much less often now due to that.Day two: Still no explanation and no access...
DISTORT6
NJ Devil
shinksma
What? I get a title?
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2014
- Messages
- 5,324
I used to hang out at, and post occasionally on, TGP. Especially the Effect pedals area, because there is a lot of territory to cover there, and it is, or at least was, the best resource for such opinions and news.
Over time I found I wasn't going back very often (part of that was when I couldn't access the site suddenly on my lunch break because a former place of work blacklisted it for some reason), and my GAS for pedals sort of diminished. Now I will browse around on rare occasions there as a guest if I have a specific pedal or type of pedal I want to research, but otherwise it is just not somewhere I want to hang out. Waaay too much stupid drama and bizarre behavior.
Over time I found I wasn't going back very often (part of that was when I couldn't access the site suddenly on my lunch break because a former place of work blacklisted it for some reason), and my GAS for pedals sort of diminished. Now I will browse around on rare occasions there as a guest if I have a specific pedal or type of pedal I want to research, but otherwise it is just not somewhere I want to hang out. Waaay too much stupid drama and bizarre behavior.
D
Deleted member 5962
Guest
I understand that tone of voice, the expression on your face, etc., are not conveyed on the internet. But if one of you makes red head jokes, I won't get offended. If you make freckle face jokes, I won't get offended. Even if you tease me about it not even being red anymore, I won't get offended. If you tell me I suck on guitar, I will only get a little bit offended!
Ok, maybe more than a little. But if you can't joke with friends without other people getting offended, and I"m not talking about mean spirited insults, I'm talking about teasing/joking amongst friends, then you're right. It's not my space. I wouldn't truly talk down or insult another person for anything. THAT'S my heart. But if it's wrong to say something that mild, to a friend, and clearly it's a joke, but it's not OK to do in a public forum, then yeah, I'm in the wrong place. Again, it was not bullying, insulting or picking on someone, it was a MILD joke made directly to a friend.
I mean, if you really think that what I said to my friend was that offensive... Guess that means I need to stop talking in forums on the internet then, huh?
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markie
Zombie 27 - DFZ
Because you’re an Eagles Fan
Bogner
Redwood Original - Pure Blood
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2016
- Messages
- 4,288
Too many people getting offended now a days. This tip toe around everybody lifestyle is nonsense IMO. Life wasn't meant to be lived on eggshells. No matter how hard a person may try to NOT offend somebody there will always be somebody who chooses to get offended over anything and everything. I have had enough of it and refuse to cater to the Karen's. YMMV
Ovibos
Naughty Wood Librarian
We’re past the point where this is appropriate for this forum, where we’re really good at staying away from stuff like this.
So my parting contribution is:
Be Kind.
So my parting contribution is:
Be Kind.
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Tucson Thump
Mint Heavy Relic
That reminded me. I had the issue where I couldn't sign in with a VPN and was told that if I wanted to use a VPN it was better to use it with Canada rather than the US. He didn't know why but that was his experience.
Tucson Thump
Mint Heavy Relic
which leads to Major embarrassment.
Tucson Thump
Mint Heavy Relic
If I may, since we've had a number of PM conversations so you and I are familiar with each other ....I understand that tone of voice, the expression on your face, etc., are not conveyed on the internet. But if one of you makes red head jokes, I won't get offended. If you make freckle face jokes, I won't get offended. Even if you tease me about it not even being red anymore, I won't get offended. If you tell me I suck on guitar, I will only get a little bit offended!
But if you can't joke with friends without other people getting offended, and I"m not talking about mean spirited insults, I'm talking about teasing/joking amongst friends, then you're right. It's not my space. I wouldn't truly talk down or insult another person for anything. THAT'S my heart. But I guess I come off as more of a big mouth jerk than a fun loving joker.
I mean, if you really think that what I said to my friend was that offensive... Guess that means I need to stop talking in forums on the internet then, huh?
I'll add something on this public forum rather than a PM not to slam anyone but to clarify my take on the issue.
What you say among friends is one thing. You know them, they know you; what is said in just is taken in the context that you intend no harm. There have been instances where I've seen this not to be the case and friends relationships have changed a bit.
However, as noted, on a public forum or in a public setting no matter how friendly you are with the recipient of your joke, it can easily come across to others as a statement of B or R stereotypes. While you may be joking, other people who have suffered embarrassment or humiliation from others who repeatedly refer to those stereotypes are justifiably sensitive, and just because you are saying it to a friend doesn't mean it is any less of an issue for them as they've heard it much of their lives.
All of this doesn't mean one can't joke, it merely means that perhaps one should put themselves in others' shoes before using stereotypes as a humorous method.
Howie, I'm not laying any $--t on you, simply trying to explain the situation as I see it. I hope we're still good.
Mark
veinbuster
Zombie Three, DFZ
Good on you mate.
D
Deleted member 5962
Guest
Hey Mark, of course we are! Always! I agree with what you said. I was simply saying that mild jokes are different than harsh insults. You probably know that a couple years ago here, I got blasted pretty good for using a slang word that I've heard a million times, and not one time has anyone ever used it in my presence to mean anything other than the exact way I meant it. But apparently in some other areas, it has a different meaning. When I got blasted for using it, I apologized profusely and tried over and over to say both that this is not what it means where I'm from and I'd NEVER say anything in public or private, that meant what others were saying is how that word was used where they are from. I even PM'd several people to personally apologize and make sure they know that is NOT how the word is used where I'm from, and I'd never ever say it if that's what it meant. I apologized in public and in private, and NOT for doing something wrong, but for doing something that could even be perceived as wrong. I even noted that a month after that happened, that same word was used in a thread at The Gear Page and guys were laughing about it. Not one single person took issue with that slang word, or said that in some places it was a gay slur. So in the biggest music forum on the net, nobody had an issue with it, but several guys here did. I never said the word again here and apologized repeatedly, just that ANYONE could take what I said as a real insult. I WOULD NOT in public, or in private with my closest friends EVER issue a gay slur.
A joke about negotiating prices is nowhere near as serious of an offense as the meaning some people attach to the slang term I used. If I had said something that had that universal meaning and knew it, I should be banned for life from the forum, and ostracized by the members . But the term I used has never in 60 years meant what some said it meant and I'd never even heard of that until I said it here. Not where I'm from. That's not what it means. It's a slang term and apparently some people assign a different meaning to it than any I'd ever used or heard. Their meaning, was lifetime ban material, 100%. But even after I explained it over and over, there were still some here saying that I was wrong for saying it. Ha, still one PMing me calling me every name in the book for saying it, and no amount of saying "It doesn't mean that where I"m from and I'll never say it again if it means something different to you, but you can't say I meant it the way you do" would change his mind.
I thought comparatively that joking with a friend that he's willing to negotiate was very mild. Heck, the mod there didn't even delete it, he just asked me to change it so nobody would be offended. But I saw a post there the other day where one guy teased another about not being able to get into his 34" waist jeans since he was 34 years old. Someone launched into a tirade about weight bashing and some others piled on. A guy joking with his friend about his friends waistline turned into a big deal about weight shaming. I read it in the evening and clearly the guy hadn't checked back in since he posted it. These guys clearly know each other, the other guy responded laughing, the bashing went on for hours before the mods caught it. If this forum is our "pub" this would be like one of us saying that to another of us at our table, and some guy 3 tables away hears it and starts crap with you for joking that your friend has gained weight. Yes, you said it "in public" but too a friend who knew it was a joke." And again, I'm not talking crude or harsh jokes that others might overhear. I totally agree that those things should not be put on the net.
I just think there's a clear difference between bashing and insulting, and joking, and moreso, between mild jokes and harsh insults or even harsher jokes. But judging by the "likes" in this thread, I'm wrong again and even mild jokes, made directly to someone who knows it's a joke and laughs, are wrong, because someone else may get offended. And if that mild stuff is offensive, I'd rather leave and deprive myself of the fun I get here, than to offend people. Again, that remark at TGP was made over 10 years ago and I only brought it up as an example. But if my joking around is offensive, I don't have to be here.
Last edit: I guess the issue is, I thought what I said was very mild, and so did he and even the mod. That is not the same as just flinging harsher comments amongst friends, that nobody else should hear. ANd I'm not saying AT ALL that just because someone is a friend, you can say ANYTHING to them on the internet like you might in person. I know better. But It appears that others feel my comment was not mild. That "willing to negotiate" could be taken as a harsher insulting/bashing in some context. I guess I never considered that something like that could be construed into a serious insult. Guess I'm wrong on that too. I'll shut up now.
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