Yet another etiquette thread or eh this forum is cool...

[rugerpc]

I didn't watch to hijack Hans' EVH prototype thread any further, but I did want to comment on this....

I'm not so sure that the world isn't full of haters frankly. I try to stay positive when people post their things on the forums. If I don't like it, I just go on to the next thread. Why are so many so negative? What happened to "the golden rule?"

My wife made an interesting point at dinner last evening. She said the internet has empowered people to make statements that they wouldn't make in a face to face conversation. It allows for comments and assertions to be made that don't have to be valid, verified, or for which one can be held accountable. And, it's turning us into a less personalized and civilized society.

I'm totally in agreement with your wife, Steve. I was shocked and appalled at the level of discourse that pervades the internet when I first started visiting forums long ago (in the CompUServe age). I quickly realized that because people are relatively anonymous on the 'net, they realized that they could be crass and ugly and there was almost certain immunity from consequence since it was likely they would never meet the object of their spew face to face.

It is a sad comment on society that people feel free to indulge themselves in behavior they would never even contemplate person to person.

I don't have any suggestions on how to eliminate this behavior other than what we all try to do here. We walk the line between calling out bad behavior and ignoring true trolls. We are fortunate that we have moderators with both brains and sentiment and that our forum is constructed to head off most nastiness from the outset with its rules against political or religious threads.

But it still boils down to your wife's observation. One should never post anything they would not be willing to say to another person if they were standing nose to nose with you..

 

[László]

My wife pointed the same thing out recently.

Some anonymous hater made fun of my friend's daughter's looks on her Facebook page. What's really odd is that my friend's daughter is not only very pretty, she just won a freaking gold medal skating at the most recent Olympics for our country!

But some anonymous hater had to mess with her. Why? Some person who probably never accomplished a thing in her life had to hate on this accomplished young woman. And I think that's your answer right there: Jealousy. If you can't do it, and are jealous of the limelight, just post something obnoxious and get some attention.

I use my actual name in my handle, so if I've got something to say (which really means 'when I have too much to say'), at least I can be held accountable for it.

 

[John Beef]

I also use my actual name in my handle. At least, part of it any way. And if you know me, then you know how much beef I can put away at a sitting. Seriously, it's like Ron Burgundy's dog eating a whole wheel of cheese - it's impressive. You shouldn't even be hatin on it. Anyway, I just try to stay cool about things. I let the slow people in the left lane stay there without ramming them out of the way.

 

[László]

I let the slow people in the left lane stay there without ramming them out of the way.

I don't ram them, either.

I simply shoot them with the imaginary missile launchers that were built into my front fenders by Q.

 

[]-[@n$0Ma☩!©]

I use my actual name in my handle, so if I've got something to say (which really means 'when I have too much to say'), at least I can be held accountable for it.

I also use my actual name in my handle. At least, part of it any way. And if you know me, then you know how much beef I can put away at a sitting.

Me too. Many more people know me as Hans O'Matic than my given name. :tongue:

I simply shoot them with the imaginary missile launchers that were built into my front fenders by Q.

Sometimes they aren't so imaginary.

 

[alantig]

I read a Kiss usenet group twice a week. It's about all I can take, because there's one guy on there who's pretty much made it his mission to p!ss al over one guy in particular - if that guy posts, this guy turns it into a personal attack with no regard for the content of the post. Now, I'll plead guilty to occasionally poking at someone on a forum a) if I feel like I know them well enough; b) if I feel like they know me well enough; and c) if I believe they can take it in fun. This ain't that, not by a long shot. And I'd bet if the two of them met face to face, either the roles would be reversed or neither of them would say boo to each other. But it's gone on - for YEARS. I get bored with the joke in a couple days - I can't imagine how miserable a person you must be to make it your life mission to do something like that for years.

And we won't even talk about the sports forums. I love hockey - I won't post on nhl.com, and will only very rarely post on The Hockey News.

There are three forums I participate in regularly, and a fourth I read a lot but don't post much in. Those four (and this is probably my favorite because of the people I've met here) are light-years ahead of some of the others I've looked at.

Now, who knows an orthopedist in case we injure our shoulders patting ourselves on the back?

 

[Mikegarveyblues]

My wife pointed the same thing out recently.

Some anonymous hater made fun of my friend's daughter's looks on her Facebook page. What's really odd is that my friend's daughter is not only very pretty, she just won a freaking gold medal skating at the most recent Olympics for our country!

But some anonymous hater had to mess with her. Why? Some person who probably never accomplished a thing in her life had to hate on this accomplished young woman. And I think that's your answer right there: Jealousy. If you can't do it, and are jealous of the limelight, just post something obnoxious and get some attention.

I use my actual name in my handle, so if I've got something to say (which really means 'when I have too much to say'), at least I can be held accountable for it.

Bingo!

There's a ton of jealous people on the t'internet. I get it on Youtube quite a lot. Constructive criticism I can handle and indeed encourage, but you get some a'hole who's dripping with jealousy and feels the need to pull you down. Like all of you I've seen it on various forums. Such a waste of energy... It's somewhat normal to get jealous sometimes but you've got to quickly knock it on the head and turn it into a positive emotion. Use it to make yourself better in someway. Sadly some think that by posting something nasty it makes them feel better about themselves but it's much akin to downing the booze to numb the pain.

 

[László]

Now, who knows an orthopedist in case we injure our shoulders patting ourselves on the back?

I'm an orthopostist;. I correct peoples' posts. Close enough?

 

[John Beef]

I don't ram them, either.

I simply shoot them with the imaginary missile launchers that were built into my front fenders by Q.

For me, it's always just been this:

 

[Whitecat]

As a community grows, so grow the problems, unfortunately. Just as a big city is generally less safe and less friendly than a small town...

On one hand, those with level heads and excellent conduct need to continue leading by example. On another hand, those same people are going to have to expect that there is going to be trouble occasionally, and know how to/be willing to get in touch with moderators appropriately who will hopefully have the sense to step in if needed.

It's the nature of the beast unfortunately. You want the community to be as big as possible to get the widest variety of opinions, experiences etc but the bigger it gets the worse the signal to noise ratio gets. It's not "winnable" but it's hopefully "manageable."

 

[helmi]

Actually, most things i would RATHER say in person, good or bad. too many statements get misunderstand because you cant see someone's expression or hear their tone of voice. we've all said things on forum pages that people took totally opposite of the way we meant them, and then it usually turns into a pissing match. i much prefer talking to people face to face!

 

[sergiodeblanc]

I use my actual name in my handle, so if I've got something to say (which really means 'when I have too much to say'), at least I can be held accountable for it.

I also use my actual name in my handle.

Me too.

Me too!!!!

The whole accountability thing doesn't really mean anything in a world with an edit button.

Hating is just a part of life, if you're unprepared for it then disable your comments, fight back, or don't.

 

[HANGAR18]

I saw a lady on TV who wound up tracking down certain online big-mouths who posted some really horrible comments and she conducted interviews with these individuals.
Long story short, what I gathered from the interviews is there are a lot of people in this world who believe "it doesn't count" when you post words on the web (as per the topic of the OP.)
They think "it's not real" and so they have no natural restraint when posting comments and such.
I have invested a great deal of effort over the years to become as friendly, pleasant and personable as I possibly can and today I get along great with most people I encounter.
I do this because I have a genuine care and concern for other people.

But occasionally I do run across certain people who bring out my natural @$$hole tendancies and I find myself speaking to them in a very blunt manner without any softening of my words. For those of you who are familiar with the pro wrestler knows as Stone Cold Steve Austin... that is ME right there in my natural form. A tiny little bit of that came out in a recent thread and I feel pretty confident that I would have said the same words in person to the individual whom I was addressing. I do often times ask myself if I would say the same thing to someone in person as I would type in an online forum and I also try to be positive. Key word there is "try". I wish more people would take their own words seeriously, whether they are written or even spoken.

 

[alantig]

For those of you who are familiar with the pro wrestler knows as Stone Cold Steve Austin... that is ME right there in my natural form.

HOLY SH3@%@&^!!!! You're Stone Cold Steve Austin??? Very cool to have you here - and I know not to screw around with you if we ever meet at Experience.

 

[HANGAR18]

HOLY SH3@%@&^!!!! You're Stone Cold Steve Austin??? Very cool to have you here - and I know not to screw around with you if we ever meet at Experience.

You know that was a figurative reference to the natural tendencies of my personality, right?

 

[cjmwrx]

It's called Keyboard Ninja. Most ALL people who would talk crap over the internet, will cower at you in person with a complete lack of self confidence.

I've always followed the belief of "If you don't have anything good to say, sat nothing"

A few times when I was younger, I have fallen into the trap of trying to call these people out. It doesn't do any good unless you are face to face to be able to "POP" them one.

 

[alantig]

You know that was a figurative reference to the natural tendencies of my personality, right?

Aw, Stone Cold, no reason to be humble - we're a pretty tight-knit bunch here. Sorry if I uncovered your secret identity, but I assumed it was cool with you since you'd made a reference to it. It was not my intention to call attention to your celebrity, and I sincerely apologize if you've been hammered with PMs and e-mails.












Yes, I know what you meant!!!! :tongue:

 

[jfb]

The whole accountability thing doesn't really mean anything in a world with an edit button.

+1

 

[gush]

I remember the fella who purchased the PRS then posted the garbage about the sig on the headstock. I made a joke about it and after seeing how out of control it got I felt bad. I PMd an apology to him and reminded myself why I prefer to not comment on negative posts.

 

[jfb]

I remember the fella who purchased the PRS then posted the garbage about the sig on the headstock. I made a joke about it and after seeing how out of control it got I felt bad. I PMd an apology to him and reminded myself why I prefer to not comment on negative posts.

This also.