Well that was irritating

Aahzz

Bluebeard Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2012
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I have been trying to find a lead player for a cover band, which has been a struggle. I have a really excellent rhythm section put together, but we do keep having some conflicts causing practice disruptions, so for the heckuvit I went looking to see who else on Craigslist might be looking for a me.

Found a mostly original band looking for a rhythm player and singer - that's me. Listened to their stuff, liked it, reached out. The ad was placed by the drummer, we had a little back-and-forth, and he gave my number to the lead player, who's the band leader. He called me, we had a great chat. Towards the end, he said "also, I want to make sure you look right - most of the guys we talked to have been overweight".

Poop.

I'm overweight. Not gonna lie, so I told him.

It went from "you should come jam on Sunday" to "send me some links, we'll let you know if we're interested".

I sent him some links, and my website, which has pics, but now I'm not sure I even want to go there.
 
The blue beard would have been enough to sway me!

Really, I know it sucks but there will be more. The way I see it is.. you avoided a problem before it's a problem. It would suck to exchange one issue for another. You have talent and soon that will be realized by the right fit. Sorry man but keep your chin up. It'll work out and you'll be the better for it.
 
Heck, I'll go one better than that. I know you're all tired of hearing this, but I grew up in a family of great singers. It's always amazed me how hard it seems to be to find people for a band, who can actually sing. I've seen some bands that were really good musically, but the vocals were poor. And I have a hard time listening to it...

If you really like them, hopefully they'll check your stuff out and see what you bring to the band.
 
Anybody with that kind of criteria is lost in a world of brainwashing and thin pipe dreams! Video killed the radio star, but the world still needs great musicians regardless of their size/shape!! Maybe try an eye patch and pirates hat with the blue beard next time, it could seal the deal (just kidding, F those thintards)!!!
 
You’re not overweight, you’re under tall.

I’m with the others… their loss. That’s not the kind of scales they ought to be looking for in a player.

It's somewhat sad that when folks grow older and gain experience, they're overlooked because they also likely have gained a few pounds. It's the youthful mindset of appeal to a younger crowd, but is prejudiced against people who aren't as concerned about body image.

TBH, everyone as they age typically gains weight because of a slower metabolism. Unless you make it your lifestyle to be conscientious about your intake and output, it's inevitable, you will gain weight.

I carry around some extra weight with me every time I bring my gear to/from or groceries in. That is also exercise. If I carried around a spare tire, yeah, people might think "That belongs in his car, not around his middle." This is why I skip the donut in the morning, and eat nutritious food. :)

Sorry to hear about your band interview. If it meant more to you, would you consider watching your weight or exercising more? If not, no harm done. You're happy with who you are; don't let the Hollywood self-image mindset mold your way of thinking.
 
I was at work earlier, and didn't have time to whip this out. (TWSS)

When I was in college, I was invited to jam with a regularly gigging band. All upper classmen and I was a freshman. I went and watched for a while and then started playing with them some. They knew going in, that I could play some of the stuff they wanted to play but couldn't... The VH and Ozzie and Rush and stuff like that solos, the guy they had couldn't play. They offered on the spot, between songs literally, for me to join the band. Then the band leader said "of course, you'll have to let your hair grow out. We have to look like musicians." I'll never forget those words as long as I live. In two sentences, they said "you're just what we need to go to the next level" and "but you need longer hair if you want to be in the band."

I told them I'd think about it. I didn't. I just wanted to jam with them again because it was fun. So, I'd do it every chance I'd get. And they kept asking. "Come jam with us, we have the theater again and we really want you to play with us." OK, I'll jam, then tell you it's basketball season and I can't have hair down my back. ;)

Side note: The other guitar player is one I may have mentioned in another story here, because he had a Mesa Mark II combo with an EV in it. I didn't know enough then to know if it was a B, or C+ or whatever, but it sounded great, was unbelievably loud, and the story I've told before was him playing the joke on me with "hey, can you move my amp over a few feet to make some more room for yours." I casually grabbed the handle and almost flipped myself over the amp when I gave it a yank. LOL That thing was HEAVY! Had to weigh over 1oo lbs., so 2/3 of what I did back then! LOL I remember him letting me play it though and how I said I wanted to see how loud it was. They all left the stage and then he yelled "go ahead, turn it up to 5 or 6 and hit a chord." I was standing beside the amp and thought my head was going to get blown off! It literally shocked me and they all got a big kick out of my obvious recoil.
 
Damn Aahzz, that's a ridiculous attitude on their part. Just off the top of my head, Aretha Franklin, Meatloaf, Leslie West, John Popper, Martin Barre - all overweight. And that's just scratching the surface. Good thing none of them ever had to audition with the likes of the people in the band you wanted in with.
 
I’m a guy who has a 6-pack… Somewhere under the bag of chips and package of Oreos in my grocery bag of a belly.

I’d suggest skipping any audition offer. Who wants to feel self-conscious or feel like your body is being judged rather than your talent? (Damn… I feel like a woman!) It’s supposed to be fun, right?

At least they were somewhat upfront about it. That’s a bit less impactful than either showing up and getting a weird vibe with an awkward admission, or worse, having a great audition and wondering why they didn’t make an offer.

I can’t think of a time when I cared what people in a live band looked like. My wife certainly isn’t going to shows with me to see the 50-70 year old guys on stage.
 
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