Washington State Covid-19 update

[Davey]

3/16. I just spent the weekend foraging to support my family. The surrounding area is a vast wasteland of humanity. All stores are still out of TP, but I am warrior smart and stocked up on Depends. One pair should last a couple of days before I have to change.

The only food I found was a can of mushrooms and a box of Lucky Charms. Who the $%#@ eats Lucky Charms? There must have been a 100 boxes of the &^%$. I'd give my left n*t for a box of Captain Crunch.

On the way home, I stopped at the local food mart and gained access to the men's room. I wrapped my torso with about 25 yards of TP and made my exit. I did leave 4 squares for the next needy person. I'm not heartless you know.

My wife, bless her heart, made a meatloaf last night for dinner. When I inventoried our dwindling supplies this morning, I noticed 3 missing cans of Alpo. Dogs gonna be pissed.
Stay safe people and be warrior smart...

Disclaimer-
Before anyone is offended, I do realize there is a serious side to this and people have lost loved ones and that is terrible and I am sorry for what you may be going thru. I am one of those people that try and see the lighter side of things, so I hope this gave you a chuckle.

 

[alantig]

The only food I found was a can of mushrooms and a box of Lucky Charms. Who the $%#@ eats Lucky Charms?

Um...

 

[sergiodeblanc]

But, but... They’re magically delicious!!!!

 

[CandidPicker]

I looked out my window to see old people crouched over their walkers, making their way to their mailboxes. We received notice from apartment management that every precaution was being taken inside our community room building to protect seniors against contracting COVID-19.

It's partly cloudy, cool, and no rain in the immediate forecast outdoors. I had planned on making some BBQ this past weekend, but it was too cool to be comfortable leaning over a grill.

Our local grocers offered a full-size-pre-packaged boneless pork loin for $2.49/lb. I've seen cheaper, but this will do until the freezer might need restocking again...Might need to invest in veggies once the stores have restocked, but the larger chain stores have cut back on open hours in order for employees to be able to restock shelves while customers are consistently buying groceries...

 

[AP515]

I went to lunch, like I always do, from work. There were 5 people in the local Indian food restaurant I frequent. I don't know how the local small businesses will make it through a couple months of this. There is no TP in town (except for the year's supply in my basement). I'm fine but I worry for others.

 

[alantig]

My dearest Celeste,

I fear I must tell you that things here on the front of the battle against the coronavirus have turned grim. General Tucker has done what he can to keep spirits up, but alas, there is only so much one man can do. Quarantine has nerves on edge - fights have broken out as tempers are short, and more and more men are fighting hysteria at the thought of not being allowed to play rounders or to gather around the campfires to sing. Not that there is much to sing about - we have burned through the guitars of the Michigan and California brigades, and today, the first guitar from the Maryland platoon met the flames. Spirits sunk at the sight of the flames. Men who could not bear the sight tried to keep themselves warm beneath their quilts, but it's growing more and more clear that those, too, are fire-bound.

Our supply chain has been cut off. All 'non-essential' shipments have been stopped by the authorities. We can no longer muster in the mess tent for our food, and supplies have dwindled to the point that - dare I say it? My love, I have tried to shield you from the horrors of the situation, but I am sorely afraid that if I do not record what has happened, that the events will be lost to history. Men and women of the future must know what has happened here lo they be doomed to repeat our mistakes. Our heinous, heinous mistakes.

We killed and ate Corporal Thompson today. Food supplies have grown so short that we could not round up enough rations for each man. As distasteful as it was, I must confess that I partook in the evil act of supping on his flesh. I hope and pray that you can forgive me, and can still bear the sight of my face know what evils I have been forced to be a part of.

My love, I must end this missive now, as our luncheon recess is being called to an end. I can only hope that day two of this ordeal is better.

Your beloved,

Lieutenant Alan Beauregard
Pennsylvania Regiment 69

 

[Tucson Thump]

3/16. I just spent the weekend foraging to support my family. The surrounding area is a vast wasteland of humanity. All stores are still out of TP, but I am warrior smart and stocked up on Depends. One pair should last a couple of days before I have to change.

The only food I found was a can of mushrooms and a box of Lucky Charms. Who the $%#@ eats Lucky Charms? There must have been a 100 boxes of the &^%$. I'd give my left n*t for a box of Captain Crunch.

On the way home, I stopped at the local food mart and gained access to the men's room. I wrapped my torso with about 25 yards of TP and made my exit. I did leave 4 squares for the next needy person. I'm not heartless you know.

My wife, bless her heart, made a meatloaf last night for dinner. When I inventoried our dwindling supplies this morning, I noticed 3 missing cans of Alpo. Dogs gonna be pissed.
Stay safe people and be warrior smart...

Disclaimer-
Before anyone is offended, I do realize there is a serious side to this and people have lost loved ones and that is terrible and I am sorry for what you may be going thru. I am one of those people that try and see the lighter side of things, so I hope this gave you a chuckle.

But never lose your sense of civilization! Splash a little vodka over that "meatloaf" and have it flambé style