sergiodeblanc
New Member
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2012
- Messages
- 28,593
... When you're not waiting for a guitar.
Two whole days I been waiting at home waiting for this G-d@mn delivery driver. Regular/normal people hours too, not my usual vampire hours, it's excruciating. And it's a beautiful day outside too, I could be going for a walk or washing my car or working or something.
We've been getting a literal ton of packages delivered (daily) since we signed up for our baby shower registry. I'm extremely grateful for all the stuff, and it's been kinda fun to open up all these gifts from all our friends who live in other places but..
There's this one thing my girl put on the registry that I wasn't really down with: An expensive-@ss "glider" chair and ottoman. It's ugly (IMO) and I kinda feel guilty about accepting gifts anyway, but you know, Pampers and onesies, they're cute and they do add up over time... But this chair. It's the price of a new CE or Core PRS.
When I saw that my girl registered for it I'm like "I don't know, babe. Do you really need a specialized chair to breastfeed our baby for a year? I mean, I understand folks are excited for us and I don't wanna not let them share in the joy of a new baby an' all but... this seems like it's more for you than for the baby."
"Well, I want it. Besides nobody will buy that for us anyway." She says.
"Well, I want a guitar. Maybe I should register for one for the baby too? I'll use that for more than one year." Serious side-eye gets sent my way (as expected) and we come to some (un-truthful) agreement that if somebody actually buys it for us, we'll return it.
So, of course some wonderful and generous family member buys it for us... She's beyond geeked about this grey whale of a chair that costs as much as a whale gray PRS. Dammit!!!!!
I get a tracking number from Bye Bye Baby, not a reputable delivery service like FedEx, UPS, Amazon,or USPS that states it was loaded on the truck (about five towns over) and it's "On it's way!" with a delivery date of yesterday. It's very important for me to wait for delivery guys 'cause I don't wanna have a nut shoot out my sack tryin' to carry this behemoth up three flights of stairs by myself, and all my friends that sit around at home all day are old and sh!t. I'm not in the mood to administer CPR or massage a pulled groin muscle on one of these dudes.
Now, nobody except Italian's and school children observe Columbus Day, right? So I chill at home yesterday and never noticed how many delivery trucks pass through our area before. The buzzer goes off at least 13 times over the past two days and none of them are for this frikking chair, but I keep rushing downstairs to grab whatever is left by these seemingly invisible delivery ninjas.
"Screw this" I say, "It's a big chair, somebody will have to buzz me to let them up. I'm gonna stop checking."
2:50-ish pm I hear a huge "thud" and "crash" outside. I look and see a nondescript truck taking off... "Can't be the chair" I think to myself. But just in case I look at the tracking from Bye Bye Baby and it says "Delivered." WTF? No buzzer is buzzed no signature is signed.
I head downstairs and there's this huge f@ckin' box sittin' in the middle of the entrance way with our names on it.
Delivery dude just straight-up bailed!
This whole thing, chair and ottoman, is in one gnarled and beat-up box!
I look around... What am I gonna do? I can't wait for some pregnant chick to come help me. I'm not tryin' to induce early labor here. So I flip this d@mn box that weighs as much as a stove end-over-end up three flights of stairs while other tenants look at me in disgust as I sweat , huff, and block their ascent. I push it all the way down the hallway while sounding like I'm getting double-teamed by crying elephants gang-raping me until I finally get it inside and collapse, clutching my left arm!
Look at this! (guitar added for scale)
It's like somebody packed two 4x12 cabinets in one f@cking box!
You know what I did, dear readers?
I cracked a (piss-water) beer (like your'e supposed to drink after hard work) and I'm registering at Dave's for a guitar. Nobody's gonna buy it for me (just like those Slayer onesies I registered for
) but, dammit! I'm doing it anyway!
Two whole days I been waiting at home waiting for this G-d@mn delivery driver. Regular/normal people hours too, not my usual vampire hours, it's excruciating. And it's a beautiful day outside too, I could be going for a walk or washing my car or working or something.
We've been getting a literal ton of packages delivered (daily) since we signed up for our baby shower registry. I'm extremely grateful for all the stuff, and it's been kinda fun to open up all these gifts from all our friends who live in other places but..
There's this one thing my girl put on the registry that I wasn't really down with: An expensive-@ss "glider" chair and ottoman. It's ugly (IMO) and I kinda feel guilty about accepting gifts anyway, but you know, Pampers and onesies, they're cute and they do add up over time... But this chair. It's the price of a new CE or Core PRS.
When I saw that my girl registered for it I'm like "I don't know, babe. Do you really need a specialized chair to breastfeed our baby for a year? I mean, I understand folks are excited for us and I don't wanna not let them share in the joy of a new baby an' all but... this seems like it's more for you than for the baby."
"Well, I want it. Besides nobody will buy that for us anyway." She says.
"Well, I want a guitar. Maybe I should register for one for the baby too? I'll use that for more than one year." Serious side-eye gets sent my way (as expected) and we come to some (un-truthful) agreement that if somebody actually buys it for us, we'll return it.
So, of course some wonderful and generous family member buys it for us... She's beyond geeked about this grey whale of a chair that costs as much as a whale gray PRS. Dammit!!!!!
I get a tracking number from Bye Bye Baby, not a reputable delivery service like FedEx, UPS, Amazon,or USPS that states it was loaded on the truck (about five towns over) and it's "On it's way!" with a delivery date of yesterday. It's very important for me to wait for delivery guys 'cause I don't wanna have a nut shoot out my sack tryin' to carry this behemoth up three flights of stairs by myself, and all my friends that sit around at home all day are old and sh!t. I'm not in the mood to administer CPR or massage a pulled groin muscle on one of these dudes.
Now, nobody except Italian's and school children observe Columbus Day, right? So I chill at home yesterday and never noticed how many delivery trucks pass through our area before. The buzzer goes off at least 13 times over the past two days and none of them are for this frikking chair, but I keep rushing downstairs to grab whatever is left by these seemingly invisible delivery ninjas.
"Screw this" I say, "It's a big chair, somebody will have to buzz me to let them up. I'm gonna stop checking."
2:50-ish pm I hear a huge "thud" and "crash" outside. I look and see a nondescript truck taking off... "Can't be the chair" I think to myself. But just in case I look at the tracking from Bye Bye Baby and it says "Delivered." WTF? No buzzer is buzzed no signature is signed.
I head downstairs and there's this huge f@ckin' box sittin' in the middle of the entrance way with our names on it.
Delivery dude just straight-up bailed!
This whole thing, chair and ottoman, is in one gnarled and beat-up box!
I look around... What am I gonna do? I can't wait for some pregnant chick to come help me. I'm not tryin' to induce early labor here. So I flip this d@mn box that weighs as much as a stove end-over-end up three flights of stairs while other tenants look at me in disgust as I sweat , huff, and block their ascent. I push it all the way down the hallway while sounding like I'm getting double-teamed by crying elephants gang-raping me until I finally get it inside and collapse, clutching my left arm!
Look at this! (guitar added for scale)
It's like somebody packed two 4x12 cabinets in one f@cking box!
You know what I did, dear readers?
I cracked a (piss-water) beer (like your'e supposed to drink after hard work) and I'm registering at Dave's for a guitar. Nobody's gonna buy it for me (just like those Slayer onesies I registered for
) but, dammit! I'm doing it anyway! 
