Touchy subject

Moondog you know I love anything on 4 or 2 wheels. Tell us about your HD’s. May favourite kind of motorcycle.

We had a turquoise Fat Boy with white walled tires. It was gorgeous. This was before the era of an I Phone. We have pictures in an album somewhere. Got to dig them up.
I will do a write up in your car and truck thread when I locate some photos (been meaning to look for them since you started that thread). I will also detail the love/hate of my 10 year ownership of a 1960 Cadillac and put some pictures up of that! In short, the HD's are 2000 FLSTS (Heritage Springer Softail) and 2003 FXSTDSEI (100th Anniversary CVO Screamin' Eagle Deuce). I've always loved the Fat Boy, but if I were to ever get another bike, it would be what Jason E has, a really nice Street Glide (I hate the look of the fairing on the Ultra, no offense Gush and others) or a Honda Gold Wing (no, that is not a typo).
 
I had an Ultra until 3 years ago. Mine was a 2016. I also had a 2019 Sport Glide. I traded both of them in on a CVO Street Glide in 2020. I really like this bike and can't see myself buying another one unless something happens to this one. It really fits my needs and likes. It basically combined the two bikes I had into one. I got tired of storing paying the upkeep on two bikes as well as keeping both of them out and moving so things don't go wrong with them.

This particular group that I was with this last weekend is a fun group to be with. I don't mind coordinating the group. We sort of have a process worked out after all of these years to figure out where we are going each day and coordinating getting food and hitting the road. Also as stated below, my Wife loves to ride with me so I have a passenger frequently.


My Wife loves to ride on the back so if I leave her behind she would be sad. She tells me to go ride more all the time and that she doesn't always have to go. I do ride by myself as well but I take her a lot since she loves it too.
My wife sleeps on the back of our ultra.
 
My wife sleeps on the back of our ultra.
This scares me because one of my best friends ever got in an accident in the 80's because the passenger on his bike fell asleep and when he changed lanes, passenger fell off and bike went down. Passenger ended up with one leg shorter than the other, my friend ended up missing two toes on one of his feet! I know the Ultra has restraints and all (arm rests), but I would personally discourage napping on a motorcycle because of how the lives of my friends were forever changed due to such action. Safe and sane, happy trails and shiny side up Brother!!
 
This scares me because one of my best friends ever got in an accident in the 80's because the passenger on his bike fell asleep and when he changed lanes, passenger fell off and bike went down. Passenger ended up with one leg shorter than the other, my friend ended up missing two toes on one of his feet! I know the Ultra has restraints and all (arm rests), but I would personally discourage napping on a motorcycle because of how the lives of my friends were forever changed due to such action. Safe and sane, happy trails and shiny side up Brother!!
I absolutely get that.

I watch my wife pretty close and as long as she is laying back and sleeping i don't mind. I always have my eye on her.

Sometimes she will fall against me and I immediately wake her up. Can't have that.

It is crazy though, as soon as we hit the road she's out!
 
Lola, I wish you(and everyone else here) my heartfelt best in dealing with these issues.
I can’t say I have anxiety. Maybe a slight amount of depression although I don’t treat that other than with with music. I decided pretty early on that I wouldn’t give a sh!t what others thought of me. I looked and acted how I wanted without worrying about other’s thoughts. Luckily my parents raised me to be kind and respectful to others and to treat people how I wanted to be treated. I think I’ve abided by that for the most part. I do my best not to judge people.
I also focus on not worrying about things I can’t control. I try to look at the big picture and not all the small things that don’t have dramatic impact.
 
Do any of you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks?

We all have problems but sometimes an outsiders perception of the situation can be enlightening.
I'm diagnosed and treated Bipolar 2 so I can have all the anxiety, depression and panic attacks you'd ever want if the meds aren't working!
Thank you, Caplyta (new to me), Lithium CR (with a tiny night time side of Seroquel for easy sleeping).
Take all my stuff at night because good sleep is a key to my condition. Thank the Lord for the peace those meds have helped with!
 
My situation is beyond medical intervention. It’s a very personal matter which I can’t share. My GP who I admire and trust will only give me so many benzodiazepines. I know they’re highly addictive. It’s extremely hard for me at times to function “normally”. This situation will hopefully get straightened out sooner then later.

I can’t go to a restaurant and sit down and eat. I can’t be restrained like that. If I go to buy clothes for instance I can’t go into a fitting room because of being restricted into a cubicle with the door shut! I need to get up and wander around, pace or walk 20 k if necessary. I will go to any lengths to ease my extreme discomfort.

I have had this in my life since the age of 13.

This situation is far beyond what you could ever imagine.

And yes, I have been in therapy since my early twenties for this.

I am looking into Ketamine therapy. I have to find out if my work benefits will cover this.

I have had to get the police involved in this matter. I couldn’t take this anymore and just walked into the local police station and told them of my situation. I had a lengthy interview which is to be followed up with a detective getting touch with me within the next 48 hours. I was told if this gets too dicey for me to handle, they will come to my house or meet me at a designated spot to talk with me until I can think clearly and rationally. They were amazing and treated me with great kindness and so much respect. Great thanks to Durham Regional police for helping me with this mess at hand!

Just sitting there and talking with an officer was a huge relief. They realized how serious this situation was. Just to be heard and acknowledged was a true blessing!

Just your kind words and acknowledgment are more then enough. A genuine thank you!

As of right now I am my hubby’s caregiver. He has had 3 major surgeries in the past 2 years. He has one more to go in September. He has been a challenge only because of the morphine he is currently taking. It has seriously been a lot of work physically and mentally. Very draining!

My best friend at work had a heart attack at work two weeks ago. She is off on medical leave and I talk to her everyday to make sure things are going more or less smoothly for her.

I have given all my life! This is “me” time. I need to look after me and NOT everyone else. I am not being selfish but I need to put me first. I need to make me a priority and that is why I decided to get the help of the police involved. I am so proud of myself for taking the first step! That was a huge step in the right direction!

I love reading all the responses. Thank you one and all.

Things are just spiralling out of control for me. If I have to go to the washroom for instance I have to sit and count all the flowers on the shower curtains because my anxiety is at such a high level when I’m a confined space. This is just getting this side of crazy.

Help will arrive at 2 pm Monday. My first appt with a new psychologist! I keep reminding myself that help is just two days away and it can only get better as time goes on!

Playing guitar and focusing on an intense practice session helps too but I have to be careful with my fretting hand. Not to go so hard as to re-injure my hand again. Most of the time this can help me greatly but sometimes nothing works except for me grabbing my coat and going on a really long walk. Fight or flight. I am caught in a two dimensional world. I absolutely hate every waking minute.

I am so happy to be at work. But even sometimes I have a few intense moments but then I hop on the computer and get really busy. My productivity rate has gone through the ceiling since this relentless monster rose out of the deep again and is trying to literally eat me alive. No one at work except my best friend knows about this. There’s just somethings that are better left unsaid.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

You are a wonderful and very supportive group.
I have not been cast aside like in some instances because of this. Ppl make too many assumptions. They don’t know the truth, only I and my supportive police team know the gravity of the situation. Police get so many bad raps but in this situation they are the superstars battling for me, evil against justice. I couldn’t ask for anything anymore.

I couldn’t ask for a better group to hang out with!

I really thank you for your kind and inspirational words. Having your support means getting a piece of my sanity back.

I am not a drama Queen and I am sorry if any of you might gravitate towards this type of thinking but this is not drama, it’s reality. Shite happens and you have to deal with it the best way you can. It’s been a long haul but now I finally have the fighting spirit and your positive thoughts to be the Muhammad Ali of all of this!

Just to be able to tell you all without judgement is extremely cathartic for me.

I do love motorcycles but unfortunately we had to sell ours when the kids needed financial support for post secondary education.

I roller skate, bike ride and love to skip rope. I absolutely love walking and hiking. I have been hiking recently with my youngest son. We have some of the most amazing and thought provoking conversations. He has been a rock in my life. He is a very thoughtful and respectful young man! He is amazing and very compassionate. I am not only his mom but we are best friends!

But the stress never leaves my head. It may die for a few fleeting moments or give me a few hours of relief but then my brain reverts back to reality.
Okay, quote fest, but it's easier to see it all in one place!

Didn't mention in my previous post that the Doc and I weaned me off of my Klonopin to reduce down (that crap
gives me horrible hand tremors the more meds it's mixed with, and it was not really doing much other than that).
The Caplyta seems to mix well with the other two meds I'm on (lithium CR, Seroquel 25mg).

No judgement in this corner, and obviously this great group of people I love hanging out with on the web don't have
any going on either!!!

Lola, to you (and others that have brought their stories, and those not wanting to talk about theirs yet), my heartfelt prayers
go out that you won't have the down in a hole times as much! I had some bad ones on and off since 2006 when my
Bipolar journey began with it showing it's ugly @$$ when I was in my prime! In a way, it has at least helped me cherish
every good moment, every breath of God's air, every moment with my infinitely patient and loving wife, and my other
family and friends! It tugs my heart strings majorly anytime I hear someone's heartfelt struggle storyline! Even though
none of us have the same issues and causes and remedies, anyone who has had anxiety/depression (and even manic) episodes
can at least relate to how it can all paralyze you and ruin many parts of your life!!! For some, it ends with them taking their
own lives or an overdose! So I take this stuff really really really seriously, and with much love and compassion for those that suffer
from it as if they have terminal cancer or one that's tough to beat!

So other than a brief version of my story, I leave prayers, love, and hugs for all who are hurting!

Will (aka GLiDE) :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
 
My wife sleeps on the back of our ultra.
Mine has fallen asleep on the back as well. She is pretty good about going with the flow of the bike, even when she is out.

My ultra is a 2004. I blew a wad on the upgrades it should of had from the factory.

I'm committed for the time being plus we paid cash so no payments.
I did tons of work to the two bikes I traded in on the one I have now. That is why it had to be a CVO that I got. I was not going to do all of that over again on a new bike. I try not to think about how much I actually had in my Ultra after all of the work, full exhaust, bars, stage 2 in motor, stage 2 stereo, chrome... I did the motor on the Sport Glide too. That had a stage 3 114 kit in it with a big cam. I try to look at it like I didn't lose any of that because this bike has almost everything done to it that I would have done. I did do a few things but nowhere near the cost of what I did to the other two.
 
Mine has fallen asleep on the back as well. She is pretty good about going with the flow of the bike, even when she is out.


I did tons of work to the two bikes I traded in on the one I have now. That is why it had to be a CVO that I got. I was not going to do all of that over again on a new bike. I try not to think about how much I actually had in my Ultra after all of the work, full exhaust, bars, stage 2 in motor, stage 2 stereo, chrome... I did the motor on the Sport Glide too. That had a stage 3 114 kit in it with a big cam. I try to look at it like I didn't lose any of that because this bike has almost everything done to it that I would have done. I did do a few things but nowhere near the cost of what I did to the other two.
The last ultra i rented was 2019 and that was the first HD I've ridden that had decent suspension.

I've had my 04 for quite a while and suspension was the first mod I did. Absolutely necessary.

Kit to move tour pak back 4 inches, ditch the rubber handlebar bushings ( vague steering), steel braided brake lines and sintered pads (worst brakes I've ever used), cam plate failure, tuner and full exhaust.

Mine is essentially a stock 88 TC so tuner and full exhaust was much needed.

Lots of minor things I dislike about our ultra but it is ridiculous comfortable. Wife and I can do 600 mile days without feeling wore out.

It took a while but I finally located wheels for it. It currently has spoke wheels and I really want to get away from tube tires. I always carried a tire plug kit on all my other bikes and if I get a flat on our current bike I'm dead in the water. I want to be able to get somewhere safe if possible.

I'm also thinking about putting a sport bike back in my garage. Miss that performance.

BMW 1000rr is a top contender. I've ridden one and I REALLY liked it.
 
The last ultra i rented was 2019 and that was the first HD I've ridden that had decent suspension.

I've had my 04 for quite a while and suspension was the first mod I did. Absolutely necessary.

Kit to move tour pak back 4 inches, ditch the rubber handlebar bushings ( vague steering), steel braided brake lines and sintered pads (worst brakes I've ever used), cam plate failure, tuner and full exhaust.

Mine is essentially a stock 88 TC so tuner and full exhaust was much needed.

Lots of minor things I dislike about our ultra but it is ridiculous comfortable. Wife and I can do 600 mile days without feeling wore out.

It took a while but I finally located wheels for it. It currently has spoke wheels and I really want to get away from tube tires. I always carried a tire plug kit on all my other bikes and if I get a flat on our current bike I'm dead in the water. I want to be able to get somewhere safe if possible.

I'm also thinking about putting a sport bike back in my garage. Miss that performance.

BMW 1000rr is a top contender. I've ridden one and I REALLY liked it.
I learned the suspension lesson last year. My Ultra and Sport Glide had decent suspensions on them. This new bike was beating my wife and I up pretty good on long rides. It had the stock HD low shocks on the back. I went to a bike event in Daytona and stopped by and talked to the Legend suspension guys. I had them put Legend Revo Arc shocks with remote resivours on the back of the bike. Holy cow what a difference. This would be the first upgrade I would do on any HD I ever buy from this point forward. Although, I won't have to as long as I stick with a touring model because these shocks are guaranteed for life to me no matter how many bikes I use them on. They were expensive but the difference in how the bike rides is worth every single penny. My wife agrees.

Performance is also another reason I had to have the CVO. It has the 117 engine on it. It is enough power to get the bike moving pretty quickly with both of us on it. I had to do the cams in the 103 on the Ultra to get it moving and it wasn't as quick as this 117 is.
 
I know Sergio has his tail between his legs after leaving a comment! I know it was meant as a joke!

I want to thank you personally Sergio. Your comment although inappropriate lit a fire under my a$$. It got me moving on this 45 year old trauma in my life finally. If it weren’t for you none of this stuff would be happening!

❤️L
 
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I know Sergio has his tail between his legs after leaving a comment! I know it was meant as a joke!

I want to thank you personally Sergio. Your comment although inappropriate lit a fire under my a$$. It got me moving on this 45 year old trauma in my life finally. If it weren’t for you none of this stuff would be happening!

❤️L
It IS Sergio....... :rolleyes::oops:o_O:D:D:D:p:cool:;)
 
I learned the suspension lesson last year. My Ultra and Sport Glide had decent suspensions on them. This new bike was beating my wife and I up pretty good on long rides. It had the stock HD low shocks on the back. I went to a bike event in Daytona and stopped by and talked to the Legend suspension guys. I had them put Legend Revo Arc shocks with remote resivours on the back of the bike. Holy cow what a difference. This would be the first upgrade I would do on any HD I ever buy from this point forward. Although, I won't have to as long as I stick with a touring model because these shocks are guaranteed for life to me no matter how many bikes I use them on. They were expensive but the difference in how the bike rides is worth every single penny. My wife agrees.

Performance is also another reason I had to have the CVO. It has the 117 engine on it. It is enough power to get the bike moving pretty quickly with both of us on it. I had to do the cams in the 103 on the Ultra to get it moving and it wasn't as quick as this 117 is.
I put progressive 970 remote reservoir shocks on mine. Wife pitched a fit when I told her how much I spent but after the first ride with the new shocks not a word.

Mine with 88 is pretty sad.

And it just occurred to me I'm hijacking a thread............sorry OP.
 
Just saw this. Let's agree that I don't know you or anything about you, except that you love PRS guitars, and that's awesome. So whatever I type here is nothing personal to you, but it comes to mind when reading this thread, and maybe when fully understood, it could help. I am not a licensed professional regarding this topic.

Let's also agree on some definitions. Anxiety is a feeling of uneasiness, worry, perhaps even dread. A panic attack is a severe episode of anxiety involving the physical sensations of fear, heavy breathing, sweating, confusion, fear of survival, fear of a serious threat, hopelessness; a highly serious situation to find oneself in, and goes beyond anxiety and stress.

There are perfectly good reasons to panic for your survival, say if you were to encounter a mountain lion up close in the wild (frightening!), or when you lean against a guard rail on a cliff and it feels unstable, and so forth. No problem.

Now look at the fear of spiders. Some people see a spider and faint. Others see a spider and kill it. And others see a spider, get close to it, take a picture and go on their merry way, totally unaffected. The difference between these people is they have a higher or lower ability to face spiders and remain in variable control of themselves. All I want to point out here is that the ABILITY to face spiders is no different than any other ability one may have. It is either easy or difficult for a person. But what is amazing about abilities is that they can improve. That is true of every ability, including your ability to remain calm when in a dressing room.

How do you get there? First, you have to understand, acknowledge and believe without question that is true. That you can and will gain control over your anxiety. And I'm telling you, without any question, that you can and you will. You just have to start one step at a time.

There are theories I've learned that help with this stuff. One is LOCATION. Whenever you are confused, the antidote to confusion is CERTAINTY. So no matter what your present problem may be, an easy exercise to do is to LOCATE YOURSELF. The way you do this is put aside your confused feelings for a moment, look at what is just around you, and touch it. Grab onto it. Be steady, and prove to yourself that you can be still. Look around you and identify what is and isn't around you. Is that tree over there? What does it look like? Is it harming you? The answer is no. You can learn that it won't hurt you. Ever. Apply that test to everything in your space, even the dressing room. Touch every wall of the dressing room for as long as you want. It won't move. You are, and have always been, safe.

The other theory here is TIME. You said you started feeling these things or experiencing them when you were 13 years old. That interests me. You eluded to an experience that you can't talk about, and you shouldn't on this forum. However, consider this. There is a theory that most if not all fears, fixed conclusions, or hot button topics we avoid in life are intimately connected to a moment in time where something bad happened to us. It is not a reflection of our character, we just experienced something bad. This happens to everyone.

For example, we go out to eat and you won't order the tuna because three years ago, you ordered tuna and got food poisoning. Your fixed conclusion is that you'll never order tuna again in your life. The only problem is, your problem is not tuna. It's food poisoning. And it could be that the tuna at this restaurant is mind-blowingly good! If you allow yourself to "go back in time" and look at everything that was happening in your life when you ordered the tuna, and can locate the things that were bad, and locate the things that were good, you can acknowledge them for what they are and aren't, see that tuna is not the problem, and allow tuna another chance. Voila! You are now safe from tuna for the rest of your life.

It may take some courage, and I have no idea what I'm referring to, but whatever is connected to your fear of enclosed spaces, is there an event that needs to be looked at? It's OK to look. Look at it. When was it? What was going on then? What did you do? What was done to you if anything? Look at all the details, whatever they might be. NOW, we locate those events and details IN THE PAST. Now locate yourself in your present environment. Are they happening now? NO, they're not. They're gone. You are free from that past experience. You are free to do anything you choose NOW. And you always have been.

Here's another truth about everyone who experiences anxiety: THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. Everyone experiences these things, but some of them get handled and some don't. Those that don't, linger and control an individual. So while ketamine therapy, for example, might help you feel better momentarily and risk you becoming addicted (it is incredibly powerful), you could try the process above and gain control of your anxiety yourself. Because frankly, you can. And you will if you take it at a reasonable pace. Don't fear failure, just never give up.

You can do this. You will prove it to yourself when you try. :)
 
@ViperDoc your advice is definitely worth reading. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.

I am doing this my way not inferring anything. I have my agenda that is working for me or not. It doesn’t matter what ppl tell me. I have to do things in a manner that I am comfortable with so that I can function.

I know me and I know how I function in whatever given situation may be presented to me.

Btw. There is no Ketamine addiction in this scenario. You go 6 times and it forever erases those memories.

Using Ketamine to treat PTSD stimulates the brain to release glutamate, which is a hormone that is associated with regrowth and regeneration within these critical neural synapses.

You can read about results all day long. Up to 90% of these PTSD patients received 100% relief from these memories. They have followed this one particular trial group for years. They’re memories have abated 100%. That is my goal.

And if I could of done this by myself over all these years I would of. Who the hell wants to suffer like this?? Welcome to my nightmare!
 
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@ViperDoc your advice is definitely worth reading. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.

I am doing this my way not inferring anything. I have my agenda that is working for me or not. It doesn’t matter what ppl tell me. I have to do things in a manner that I am comfortable with so that I can function.

I know me and I know how I function in whatever given situation may be presented to me.

Btw. There is no Ketamine addiction in this scenario. You go 6 times and it forever erases those memories.

Using Ketamine to treat PTSD stimulates the brain to release glutamate, which is a hormone that is associated with regrowth and regeneration within these critical neural synapses.

You can read about results all day long. Up to 90% of these PTSD patients received 100% relief from these memories. They have followed this one particular trial group for years. They’re memories have abated 100%. That is my goal.

And if I could of done this by myself over all these years I would of. Who the hell wants to suffer like this?? Welcome to my nightmare!
I support you in your journey. Ultimately, whatever works for you is what you should pursue. Especially if it means playing some guitar. :cool:
 
Lola, I sort of know what you deal with from my own personal demons. I was too proud to share my affliction with anyone until it almost destroyed me. But I managed to get through it. Maybe not the prescribed way, but I did it. It was a highly personal battle and I will leave it at that.

Some/many of you know that I ride and race motorcycles. That has been a part of me since I was in my early teens, as soon as I was legally able to do so. Much to the chagrin of my parents. Fortunately they had both passed on when I crashed on the racetrack almost 6 years ago. I consider it a minor track occurrence since I suffered no long term disfigurement or disability from it. My wife sort of disagrees with my assessment on the matter, but she doesn't forbid me my addiction to that part of my life. And she does enjoy riding with me to distant destinations on the Goldwing. And yes, I've caught her studying the inside of her eyelids on the pillion seat. I have armrests on the back so she can't (easily anyway) fall off if she nods. I also caught her reading a book while we rode through the Redwoods in California. Now that I took issue with, and it nearly put her on a bus or an airplane home I was so pi$$ed. I can see reading in southern Saskatchewan or maybe Iowa or North Dakota, but not when there are monumental sights to behold. Some things should be sacred should they not? ;)

She hated the two Harleys I owned (and I hated one of them as it was a POS), along with the sport tourer I had for a couple years. And she has never ridden (or asked to) on the back of any of my sport bikes. Neither HD was an Ultra, but I did have a Roadking which was a superb bike, but it got totaled in Arizona on a solo trip. I did have a very customized Japanese cruiser that I loved to bits for 10 years, but she hated that too, I think it might have had something to do with the shotgun duals and the "dicier" crowd that I rode with during that time... which coincided with my personal problem I mentioned.

I didn't turn fanatically religious in the aftermath, although I did seek help in that realm with some friends as well as a local Pastor. But I also had the support of a very dear and close friend, who I will always be eternally grateful to for her assistance and unconditional love. I also took my martial arts training in a more introspective and philosophical way, which I think taught me more about my inner self than anything else I have ever done on my own. My students in the dojo were a huge influence in that part, even though they didn't know they were helping me out of a personal crisis.
This is something that no one other than the select few I've mentioned, and those of you that read this, have I ever spoken to on the subject. Not even my two brothers. And I still have music, which I believe gave me a sense of worth and inner peace. Now when I feel incomplete, I can find comfort in the beauty of a song, or the struggle to nail a new riff or lead line that has previously vexed me.
 
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