Touchy subject

I don't have panic attacks but my older brother does. It shuts him down when they happen. He's learned to mange it for the most part. He recognizes the warning signs and will remove himself from the situation if he needs to. There are times when he can't fully remove himself though and I know it's tough on him. He is a non confrontational type person and is one of the most genuine, kind people I know. He's a real role model for me.

I am on the other side of my family gene pool and blessed/cursed with a temper. My instinct is to fight back, always, at any cost. I think that I have the 'fight' genes and he may have the 'flee' genes. I think my instinct to fight helps in some cases. It's somewhat of a self preservation mode I think. It comes with consequences though. Actions taken in anger are rarely positive. As I've gotten older I've hopefully gotten wiser and realized that there are other ways to deal with things. I need to be more like my Brother.
 
Having a lot experience with mentally ill people, there is a societal stigma on the issue that needs to be overcome. Families of the seriously mentally ill sacrifice a lot to help and it can become overwhelming. i believe if we all put down our devices, turned off the TVs, and found time to reflect and engage, many of us would be miles ahead. And the rest of us should be able to take the meds that help without any judgment.

That we all are talking about our issues is a real step.

p.s. No Phd here so just my personal thoughts.
 
I've had several anxiety issues. Meditation was one of the things that rewired my brain (proven science) and that helped a lot. Next I did a full brain remap using psilocybin (established science) a few years back and anxiety and depression vanished. However, this spring after an endless winter here and a loss in my life it came back. I took a microdose (1/3 gram) of psilocybin during severe anxiety and I felt relief in about 20 minutes. Followed it with another mirodose days later and have had no issues since.
Was your psilocybin therapy conducted at a clinic, or self prescribed? I’ve heard of some amazing results from this therapy.
 
Lola, I haven't suffered from those maladies, so I have no personal experiences to share with you. However, I've been reading about psilocybin therapy and it sure does sound promising if done in a clinical setting. It has helped GIs with their PTSD, alcoholics, drug addicts, and rape victims. It can allow long-buried issues to surface and be dealt with. Also, a question for you - do you journal? Maybe search for correlations between environmental triggers that lead to your heightened anxiety and the panic attacks. I do hope you seek professional help. We're just a bunch of music freaks here (not that there's anything wrong with that) but a good pro in the field that you trust and feel comfortable with would be a great step forward. Best of luck to you.
 
I have in the past. In 2008 after the big crash, my work, doing land surveying just vanished. It was so tied in with the property market. The area I lived in was hard hit by that crash and there were literally no jobs. A school custodian job with the school system came open and the local paper reported the school computer system crashed in the first hour, of applicants, after 1800 tried to apply. In one hour. I was faced with losing everything I had. At the time I was having massive panic attacks. I sold a couple of nice Martin guitars to make mortgage payments. I ended up losing my car, but did eventually save the house. The street I lived on was about half built out with 8 houses. 5 of the 8 houses went into foreclosure over night.

It took time and hard work, but eventually I was able to start to get back on my feet. Once I did find some work, even though it was not good work, that helped with the panic attacks. Eventually I ended up going to truck driving school and that was where I finally got back to normal.

That's not to say I have not had one since, but they were more situational. When one is driving a semi in snow and ice and it begins to slide off the road, that will cause a panic attack. I never cross Wyoming without something about Wyoming trying to kill me. It's become almost like The Old Man and the Sea. I just keep doing it, it keeps trying to kill me ad so far, I've won.
 
My situation is beyond medical intervention. It’s a very personal matter which I can’t share. My GP who I admire and trust will only give me so many benzodiazepines. I know they’re highly addictive. It’s extremely hard for me at times to function “normally”. This situation will hopefully get straightened out sooner then later.

I can’t go to a restaurant and sit down and eat. I can’t be restrained like that. If I go to buy clothes for instance I can’t go into a fitting room because of being restricted into a cubicle with the door shut! I need to get up and wander around, pace or walk 20 k if necessary. I will go to any lengths to ease my extreme discomfort.

I have had this in my life since the age of 13.

This situation is far beyond what you could ever imagine.

And yes, I have been in therapy since my early twenties for this.

I am looking into Ketamine therapy. I have to find out if my work benefits will cover this.

I have had to get the police involved in this matter. I couldn’t take this anymore and just walked into the local police station and told them of my situation. I had a lengthy interview which is to be followed up with a detective getting touch with me within the next 48 hours. I was told if this gets too dicey for me to handle, they will come to my house or meet me at a designated spot to talk with me until I can think clearly and rationally. They were amazing and treated me with great kindness and so much respect. Great thanks to Durham Regional police for helping me with this mess at hand!

Just sitting there and talking with an officer was a huge relief. They realized how serious this situation was. Just to be heard and acknowledged was a true blessing!
 
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Lola, my best wishes to you. We're all hard wired different. Someone posted earlier about how in modern times, we still deal with the fight or flight mechanism from our hunter gatherer days. I believe that is true, but also with modern life and stress, there can be no easy resolution to those situations. In the economic hard times I went through, where I had the problem, my wife, who worked in health care, kept her job and that's what had a lot to do with saving us in the end. And she, who had dealt with panic attacks in the past became my rock and she got through that period better than I did.

I'm rooting for you and sending you my best thoughts. It sounds like to me you are actively dealing with the outside forces that are part of this, and that's the best way to deal with it. Anxiety can be paralyzing but you are taking action. Action can make the difference.
 
I know several local folks who experience this condition. Most also are (or were) psychiatric patients during their lifetime. Although HIPPA laws prevent me from discussing their personal information, two displayed unique speech and personality characteristics. One of these people I speak to regularly, the other passed away several years ago during a routine surgical heart procedure. The third has family health issues he is dealing with and it is this that is the largest contributing factor to his anxiety.

Realizing that anxiety is real and has additional subsequent effects beyond the condition itself, it's important to be discerning when working with a person who displays anxiety to determine if it's not caused by something else. Perception and being able to identify with what is most real to the individual makes a huge difference than sorting through the emotional baggage caused by anxiety.

Although I'm NOT a doctor nor do I treat emotional illnesses, my work is related to a retail health-oriented field which serves the public's OTC and prescription health needs.

The stigma that occurs with any illness is how health conditions can be talked about without generalizations or judgments. My personal feelings is that you might treat others the way you might wish to be treated, and in that sense, there is no subsequent bias or judgment based on protected conditions or status.

Now that I've read somewhat of @Lola's post, my hope is that you realize that each day has its own anxieties. Focus instead on teaching others about what you know to be true, and you may find comfort in looking beyond your own condition and being of support to others who might need it as well. Doing this can be tremendously cathartic, because it removes the focus on self and places it on the individuals you are helping...
 
Now that I've read somewhat of @Lola's post, my hope is that you realize that each day has its own anxieties. Focus instead on teaching others about what you know to be true, and you may find comfort in looking beyond your own condition and being of support to others who might need it as well. Doing this can be tremendously cathartic, because it removes the focus on self and places it on the individuals you are helping...

As of right now I am my hubby’s caregiver. He has had 3 major surgeries in the past 2 years. He has one more to go in September. He has been a challenge only because of the morphine he is currently taking. It has seriously been a lot of work physically and mentally. Very draining!

My best friend at work had a heart attack at work two weeks ago. She is off on medical leave and I talk to her everyday to make sure things are going more or less smoothly for her.

I have given all my life! This is “me” time. I need to look after me and NOT everyone else. I am not being selfish but I need to put me first. I need to make me a priority and that is why I decided to get the help of the police involved. I am so proud of myself for taking the first step! That was a huge step in the right direction!
 
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As of right now I am my hubby’s caregiver. He has had 3 major surgeries in the past 2 years. He has one more to go in September. He has been a challenge only because of the morphine he is currently taking. It has seriously been a lot of work physically and mentally. Very draining!

My best friend at work had a heart attack at work two weeks ago. She is off on medical leave and I talk to her everyday to make sure things are going more or less smoothly for her.

I have given all my life! This is “me” time. I need to look after me and NOT everyone else. I am not being selfish but I need to put me first. I need to make me a priority and that is why I decided to get the help of the police involved. I am so proud of myself for taking the first step! That was a huge step in the right direction!
@Lola,

Just realize that your husband is your "rock" and he will be there for you when you need him. It is important to look after your own health, because it's a gift we're all born with. I could say more, but fewer words says it best.

I am glad that you took the steps to talk with someone who could hear you objectively and help you find either a sense of calm or additional outreach help. Sometimes it helps to talk, but like you, "I've gotta rock" myself...
 
The more stressful a situation is, the calmer I get. I wasn’t that way as a child, but by my early teens I’d figured out that the best outcomes to bad situations come with calm clarity of thought. It’s as built into me now as an instinct is. It’s served me well.

My wife had a manic episode in 2017. Stress-induced, from both work and infertility issues. In some ways, she’s been a different person in the time since. I’ve become very aware of the clues I was seeing but not comprehending when her episode began. Trauma has a way of heightening sensitivity.

She started having short panic attacks in 2021, again due to stress from work. She’d be sitting in her car, not able to go into one of the clinics she managed. She went back onto an anti-depressant for a time, and we spent quite a lot of time working through it together. Thankfully the panic attacks ceased. She’s been in a much less stressful role for almost a year. I’m starting to see some of the old “her,” which I’ve dearly missed, re-emerge. Stress is an insidious thing for some people.
 
I love reading all the responses. Thank you one and all.

Things are just spiralling out of control for me. If I have to go to the washroom for instance I have to sit and count all the flowers on the shower curtains because my anxiety is at such a high level when I’m a confined space. This is just getting this side of crazy.

Help will arrive at 2 pm Monday. My first appt with a new psychologist! I keep reminding myself that help is just two days away and it can only get better as time goes on!

Playing guitar and focusing on an intense practice session helps too but I have to be careful with my fretting hand. Not to go so hard as to re-injure my hand again. Most of the time this can help me greatly but sometimes nothing works except for me grabbing my coat and going on a really long walk. Fight or flight. I am caught in a two dimensional world. I absolutely hate every waking minute.

I am so happy to be at work. But even sometimes I have a few intense moments but then I hop on the computer and get really busy. My productivity rate has gone through the ceiling since this relentless monster rose out of the deep again and is trying to literally eat me alive. No one at work except my best friend knows about this. There’s just somethings that are better left unsaid.
 
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I love reading all the responses. Thank you one and all.

Things are just spiralling out of control for me. If I have to go to the washroom for instance I have to sit and count all the flowers on the shower curtains because my anxiety is at such a high level when I’m a confined space. This is just getting this side of crazy.

Help will arrive at 2 pm Monday. My first appt with a new psychologist! I keep reminding myself that help is just two days away and it can only get better as time goes on!

Playing guitar and focusing on an intense practice session helps too but I have to be careful with my fretting hand. Not to go so hard as to re-injure my hand again. Most of the time this can help me greatly but sometimes nothing works except for me grabbing my coat and going on a really long walk. Fight or flight. I am caught in a two dimensional world. I absolutely hate every waking minute.

I am so happy to be at work. But even sometimes I have a few intense moments but then I hop on the computer and get really busy. My productivity rate has gone through the ceiling since this relentless monster rose out of the deep again and is trying to literally eat me alive. No one at work except my best friend knows about this. There’s just somethings that are better left unsaid.
You have friends here, and we’re pulling for you!
 
❤️❤️❤️❤️

You are a wonderful and very supportive group.
I have not been cast aside like in some instances because of this. Ppl make too many assumptions. They don’t know the truth, only I and my supportive police team know the gravity of the situation. Police get so many bad raps but in this situation they are the superstars battling for me, evil against justice. I couldn’t ask for anything anymore.

I couldn’t ask for a better group to hang out with!

I really thank you for your kind and inspirational words. Having your support means getting a piece of my sanity back.
 
I am not being selfish but I need to put me first
This is the best mindset you can have! It's something so simple yet so many fail to see it. There is a reason they tell you to put your mask on before assisting others on an airplane. If you don't take care of yourself, then you won't be there to overflow into others. You got this...FILL YOUR CUP!!
 
I am not a drama Queen and I am sorry if any of you might gravitate towards this type of thinking but this is not drama, it’s reality. Shite happens and you have to deal with it the best way you can. It’s been a long haul but now I finally have the fighting spirit and your positive thoughts to be the Muhammad Ali of all of this!

Just to be able to tell you all without judgement is extremely cathartic for me.
 
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