The importance of being able to play with friends

Big Eric Bee

New Member
Dec 29, 2016
This past weekend, realized again how much fun it can be to really spend time playing music with friends. As some folks have seen through my other posts, have been going through a very rough period with my band. (We're actually a duet which made it more difficult.) Long and short of it is my musical partner for the past 5 years has decided to take a different direction and I'm not included in this venture. And she did not go about this the best way. Will not say more because there are other folks that are being hurt by this change.

So while I have been in a deep funk thinking about what I could have done to change this course, (quick answer - nothing) have started to re-immerse myself in the old time stringband music tradition that I've been playing for the past 20 years. Got back to regular attendance at the local weekly jam. And this past weekend went to a local festival where I spent quite a bit of time playing and talking with my friends. It was a fun experience, because even though I hadn't been a regular, was able to sync my rhythm playing up quick quickly with the fiddlers and banjo players I know well. In fact, am pretty sure I played better than I had in quite some time. Really helped restore the confidence in my playing that had been lacking for the past 6 months or so.

Overall, realized what I had missed in not keeping in closer touch with my friends the past couple of years. With some luck, this is going to get me going back on a good musical journey where I can be proud of what I'm doing again. So make sure you keep in touch with you friends and enjoy making music together when and where you can. Never know when things will change.

All I can tell you is that I am very sympathetic with what you are going through, as I am going through something very close to what you are going through, although I am more of the initiator of the dissension in this case, because at least in my mind, I have been carrying more than my share of the "band" workload up till now. There are 2 sides to the equation. The 1st is what is going through your head and the second is what is going though their head(s).

In any case, the best thing you can do is learn from what did not go right with your present situation (assuming relationship can not be fixed). When I form I new band or team with someone, what is going to make it work? Not work? Are our goals for the band the same?? Who is willing to do what with respect to documenting arrangements, bringing new songs t the party etc. Do we need to add others to the band?? As long as you are on the same page before you get too deep into things, it should work out (I am an optimist at heart :))

I wish you all the best.
CVS - thanks for the reminder and advice. I wonder about her side of the story (we were a duo.) Unfortunately, that seems to be the problem. She and her new partner want very little to do with me. Mainly due to a musical path they are trying which has been deemed too complicated for me to learn. Possibly a legitimate concern. However, I was not told this until a number of months after our last show, when I pressed the issue about booking more shows.

EDIT - removed the rumor and innuendo. Doesn't belong here or anyplace else.

Will add that my former bandmate is not willing to play the tunes we used to play with me alone, but has started a large jam session so she can play those tunes (possibly with me) in a very public space with many others around. Doesn't make sense.
Last edited: