...
Allow me to demonstrate what a typical club looks like:
Note the fairway, the green, and the actual clubhouse where they have meetings, and serve drink and food to guests and members of said club.
Here is another type of club. This club of nice young men gets matching leather jackets and shares an interest in motorcycling. They get together for meetings and have a clubhouse of a different type than the one in the other picture.
Your alleged "club" lacks even the most rudimentary features of a club, like meetings, a clubhouse, a golf course, T-shirt, blazer, hat, leather jacket, motorcycles, or members other than yourself.
So it isn't a club.
You could
form a club. That might be a good idea. You could hold meetings. Members could be given the options to join. They could vote on what kind of blazer, T-shirt, hoodie, hat, leather jacket, or other accoutrements of membership they would most like to have.
But you do not yet have a club. You can't just declare a club into existence if you're the only guy in it.
I'm sorry. At this stage, it's a figment of your imagination. I know you've been under a lot of stress lately what with your wife's surgery and all, but believe me, declaring imaginary clubs to exist isn't good for your physical or mental well-being.
Fortunately there is help. The Imaginary Organization Helping People With Imaginary Club Fantasties was formed to get folks like you back to reality, and to help them cope with their illness. You can google this organization, call them, and ask for help.
