I used to use boiled linseed oil on the butcher’s block insert in the counter in my old house. Worked great.
On the chair thing, I’d just buy a new chair.
I think I've got some Homer Formby's stashed away somewhere that was used when first moving into this apartment.
Was able to swap my study room chair for the living room one. Smaller armrests, but sturdier seat. Will use the living room chair in the study room where I'd likely be leaning forward to write, pay bills, or read somewhat perched forward.
Coincidence: My wife made incredible shredded chicken burritos with fresh cilantro, fresh peppers, a terrific salsa, and guacamole for dinner tonight! It was as good as Xoco, my new favorite Mexican restaurant when we visit Chicago to see our daughters. But I had a Hendricks Gin martini (not my usual Monkey 47).
I’m very bad at cooking. Very bad. I don’t even want to learn how to do it, it’s too messy.
If you know how to handle fire, operate an outdoor grill, or smoke meat, you're halfway there. Every red-blooded male typically enjoys cooking outdoors, especially during warm evenings with cool breezes wafting over their patio/deck.
Learning how to cook should be a life skill: some recipes you can copy from online sources, some recipes you can "borrow" from watching cooking shows, and if the mood strikes, you can read a variety of recipes from library books or invest in your own library of recipes.
My Dad voraciously collected newspaper clippings or recipes every week or so from our local newspaper and various magazines we subscribed to. Our local grocer offers their own monthly recipe magazine free-of-charge.
The first recipe I ever learned to cook was "Sullivan's Island Shrimp Bog,' that my Mom presented me with the year my Dad passed. Mom felt that with her being away most of the time during the day, cooking for the family would be something we might both benefit from. At first it was a chore, then a challenge, then a pleasure. The Sullivan's Island recipe holds its own special place in my small 3x5 card file that is home to some of my Gram and Dad's recipes.
Gradually, cooking in various scenarios became a way of life for me. Sometimes while sitting in my own room I'd imagine grilling outdoors, or BBQ smoking a brisket, or being indoors and chopping onions while putting a grilled chicken or steak salad together. Other times it would be visualizing myself at a bar and grill across town, cooking up meals for guests who visited the place. (An active imagination is sometimes a healthy thing.)
Regards messy, if one follows safe food handling procedures and cleans up afterwards (instead of letting dirty dishes sit in the sink overnight), their chances of being sickened by improperly handled or cooked food is decreased significantly. Especially as warmer weather makes its way toward early summer, one should know the rules of food safety (Chief of the Food Police speaking here). Seriously, your home kitchen doesn't need to have a restaurant inspection rating, but every family should strive to keep their kitchen clean and free of anything that could cause sickness. (Kitchen cleaning solutions and sink cleaners under the sink not withstanding in supervised homes)
Think of it, Les, what if someday your wife caught a cold or needed someone to cook for her. Could you do it? Not wishing it on you, but it will happen someday. Could you make a batch of homemade chicken & rice soup? Nothing fancy, just something basic. Might you wish to impress your wife on her anniversary with a home cooked meal you cooked by yourself? These are the first steps towards entertaining your family (and guests, eventually) as you "widen out" socially.
I think you'd be a wonderful host to guests who are close friends of yours. And instead of being inept in the kitchen because you think it's too messy, your wife might well praise your efforts, and you could grow stronger together as a family. Think of it as a learning experience, and your wife would be a good one to teach you.
