Relics? I don't get it

coyote said:
False. If entropy, as commonly grasped, is THE "natural state of the universe", star/planet formation becomes impossible. Evolution becomes impossible. Yet stars and planets are forming right now, as the disorganized and dark interstellar dust coalesces around itself and order emerges from chaos.... And life continues to evolve, to grow more complex over time.

The law states that in any cyclic process, entropy will either increase or remain constant.
Yet there are so many other factors which, in a given moment at a given place, produce results out of line with constant loss of 'working' energy.

Therefore, entropy is not THE state of the universe.
It is but one of many states. A significant one indeed, but not the only.
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o_O
 
Lemon-TEC.png


Lemon Pie
  1. Pick 4 lemons from the tree next to the oak that holds your treehouse. Post-apocalypse, the aliens took all the technology back. We live in trees. We live off the land. Pick the lemons with your hands and feel the sun-baked rind warm in your palm.
  2. Zest the lemons with an old guitar string bent into a circle. Analogue technologies have survived. Look out from the balcony of your Swiss Family Robinson-style treehouse and consider that Disney simulacrums are the dreams of future past. Imagination has become reality. It is so meta that you cut your hand on the guitar string and add three drops of blood to the bowl of zest.
  3. Slice the lemons paper-thin with your Wiccan athame (ritual knife). Remove the seeds with claw-like fingernails. Add them to the bowl. in the global warming jungle you are sweating. Your sweat mixes with the lemons and blood.
  4. Add 1/4 tsp salt on the tip of the knife from your altar.
  5. Cover and let stand for two days on a wooden shelf in the single balconied room of your treehouse.
  6. While you wait, bait a trap. A raccoon falls into it. Slaughter it.
  7. Remove the raccoon fat with a sharp knife.
  8. Mix 2 1/2 cups flour from the canister on a high shelf with 1/4 tsp. of salt in an earthenware bowl. The bowl was cast by your aunt, given in a potlatch.
  9. Mix the 1/4 cup cold raccoon fat with 2 1/2 cups flour from the canister on the wooden pantry shelf.
  10. Add 3 tablespoons butter churned from goat milk.
  11. Add 6 tablespoons of groundwater. Mix the batter with your hands until it forms a cohesive ball.
  12. Rub flour on the plank shelf you are cooking on. Roll out 1/2 of the dough with a floured crowbar.
  13. Run the edge of the knife along the bottom of the pastry. Lift it into a salvaged hubcap. Pat it into crust with your fingertips. Crimp the edges between your finger and your thumb to flute them.
  14. Take out your tattered copy of The Joy of Cooking, handed down from your wife who died in the apocalypse. A 3-inch cockroach crawls from the binding. The roaches are eating what few books we have left.
  15. Climb down the treehouse on a rope ladder to the yard. Light a fire under the metal salvage box that serves as your oven. Let the fire burn in the broiling sun for 10 minutes, judged from the movement of the red sun in the sky.
  16. Gather 4 large eggs from the chicken coop in the yard. Climb back up the rope ladder.
  17. Rinse the bowl clean in groundwater. Use it again to whisk the eggs with a forked stick.
  18. Add 1/4 cup butter melted in the sun. Add 3 tablespoons of flour. You are getting low on flour. Must barter a chicken for more at Saturday market.
  19. Stir the sugary macerated lemons into the eggs and flour. Mix thoroughly with a forked stick.
  20. Pour the filling into the crust. Feel the hubcap warm from the sun against your hands.
  21. With the floured crowbar, roll out the second 1/2 of the dough. Cut it into strips. Place them on a lattice on top of the pie. Crimp the edges with worn fingers.
  22. Carefully, carry the pie down the rope ladder. Place it in the salvage metal oven under the fire which has been reduced to embers. Close the oven door made from a window of a downed plane. Bake the pie for 40 minutes gauged from the sun.
  23. Wearing oven mitts repurposed from the cloth of dresses you wore before the empire fell, remove the pie from the oven. Stomp on the fire with booted feet, putting it out. Carry the pie up the rope ladder. Let cool on a shelf. Watch the cockroaches play on the floor.
  24. When the sun rises on the next day, array yourself in a pre-Empire dress. Carry the pie in your hands to the Ostara celebration of the man you are courting. Soon you will be hand-fasted. Present the pie. Watch his sisters and mother devour it. Smile into the red sun.
 
Hey I bought an old CE and its pretty beat.
At first I had plans to paint it bcs it was such an eye sore, but with the advice of the forum I kept it as it is. Now that I've had it for some time I love the relic look, though I'm trying really hard not to add more damage to the over all guitar o_O
 
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LSchefman said:
You realize that I was joking, right? Check out my last sentence.
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You may have been joking, but you shouldn't have been! Toss a bunch of XLR cables into a bag after a gig and see what greets you the next morning when you try to sort it all out....

Actually, I quite liked your little diatribe.

Regarding relic'ing, I personally don't want one, but I do appreciate the artistry that goes into some of these things. Sure, there are boneheads just randomly hacking guitars, but some of the people that do relics spend months on them. There was a guy here on the forum (haven't seen him around lately) that relics Les Pauls. His projects took forever and what he did was super detail oriented. I'm weird though... I like old stuff that looks new, not the other way around...
 
aristotle said:
You may have been joking, but you shouldn't have been! Toss a bunch of XLR cables into a bag after a gig and see what greets you the next morning when you try to sort it all out...
Click to expand...

I learned not to do that when I gigged a lot in my college band days. When your principal band gig is being the organ player, and you're schlepping around a Hammond, an amp, and associated connector cables it's just too much to also have to untangle a bag o'cables. You're beat from just dragging in the organ. The drummer and I were always the last ones to load out. He had his drums, cases, stands, cymbals, and I had that damned Hammond, the amp, and my volume pedal, cables and even some effects.

For a while I even played a Key Bass in the band, a la The Doors, that would sit on top of my organ...and it had to have its own amp, too. Sweaty stuff, being a keyboard player back in the day... ;)
 
LSchefman said:
I learned not to do that when I gigged a lot in my college band days. When your principal band gig is being the organ player, and you're schlepping around a Hammond, an amp, and associated connector cables it's just too much to also have to untangle a bag o'cables. You're beat from just dragging in the organ. The drummer and I were always the last ones to load out. He had his drums, cases, stands, cymbals, and I had that damned Hammond, the amp, and my volume pedal, cables and even some effects.

For a while I even played a Key Bass in the band, a la The Doors, that would sit on top of my organ...and it had to have its own amp, too. Sweaty stuff, being a keyboard player back in the day... ;)
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I have an A100 in my studio, and it was just a few years ago that I was dragging it around. I even learned how to get it up and down stairs by myself lol (it's about leverage, not strength). I used to run it thru a MotionSound Pro3T, with a Marshall half stack for the low rotor sim.
 
Someone mentioned Fano, I had been trying to remember them for a couple of days now to post my comment. I only wish that they would offer some of their fine gits WITH a brand new looking finish...
 
Parralax view said:
Someone mentioned Fano, I had been trying to remember them for a couple of days now to post my comment. I only wish that they would offer some of their fine gits WITH a brand new looking finish...
Click to expand...

As I said in my post, they do, you just pay extra.
 
coyote said:
I have an A100 in my studio, and it was just a few years ago that I was dragging it around. I even learned how to get it up and down stairs by myself lol (it's about leverage, not strength). I used to run it thru a MotionSound Pro3T, with a Marshall half stack for the low rotor sim.
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Oh man, it sure is about leverage.

My leverage was that I wasn't going to play unless someone helped me with the damned thing on stairs. ;)
 
Remember how this relicing thing started? Keef Richards went to the Fender custom shop and said make me a few guitars for touring. He saw them as was pissed that they did not look old and beaten up so out came the saws, chains, screw drivers and chisels. Obviously there is a market for this type of stuff. The guy at g - Tom Murphy is a master at it. They really look old, lacquer checked and not excessively warn. Very broken in. n a very nice way and not lets just drag it behind the car until it looks like do-do.

read n previous threads my first encounter with a well worn 80's PRS. Would kill to have that guitar regardless of the condition.
 
I'll just say... when I go buy a new car, I'll be dam if I'm going to pay the dealer extra to take it to the nearest demolition derby and go three rounds, barely missing the finals, before I drive it off the lot. (YMMV. Consult your physician for erections lasting over 4 hours, or if you think it's a good idea to spend extra to have your new guitar abused. Yes, they do have meds for that. :D:D Or, if they don't, they SHOULD!)

(Edit: This is TOTALLY tongue in cheek! No, I'd NEVER buy one, but I have NO issue with anyone who wants and likes them. I was just having fun. But totally teasing about this! Not meaning to insult anyone. Please accept my apologies).
 
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rat rods, not my thing, but that doesn't matter.
i'm really struggling to understand why people are so intense about relicing.
u don't like it, don't buy it. u like it, buy it. really it's just another fashion. it may fade, or it may stay (kinda like mullets).
lot more important things to stress over than this.
 
No stress here. I agree, it is just another finish, that's been done with with furniture, flooring, violins, etc, etc, etc...

Is is a fad? If it is, it's been going on for over 20 years. The first commonly available commercial relic guitars were the Cunetto Fenders, which came out in 1995. Tom Murphy started doing the Les Pauls around the same time...

If you're struggling to understand, don't worry about it. They're simply not for you. And that's cool...

If you get it, no explanation is necessary, If you don't, none will suffice...
 
Please see my post edit. I was joking. Didn't mean to offend anyone and I apologize. :oops:

The whole "demolition derby, barely missing the finals" thing was my attempt a humor.

Swing, and a miss...
 
I admit it.

I'm actually 22. I paid a plastic surgeon to turn me into a relic.

But I'm thinking of going full-zombie...
 
i love the relics u posted. fabulous guitars, really done right and look great.
actually, I'm not struggling to understand, but guess my post didn't reflect that which is cool.
relics aren't "my thing", but i do "get" why they are popular and sell.

JMintzer said:
No stress here. I agree, it is just another finish, that's been done with with furniture, flooring, violins, etc, etc, etc...

Is is a fad? If it is, it's been going on for over 20 years. The first commonly available commercial relic guitars were the Cunetto Fenders, which came out in 1995. Tom Murphy started doing the Les Pauls around the same time...

If you're struggling to understand, don't worry about it. They're simply not for you. And that's cool...

If you get it, no explanation is necessary, If you don't, none will suffice...
Click to expand...
 
My '08 DGT looks pretty rough. Once the nitro started going haywire, it was game on - play like I stole it.

By the way, it's eight years old and the nitro STILL hasn't cured. It's all gummy and just falls off.
 
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