Notes From "Mr. Pathetic"

Joined
Nov 21, 2012
Messages
242
Hi All;

Well, like in your worse nightmares I'm back. I was very surprised by some of the guys that offered support after my last ill-advised post. Mucho appreciated.
I will likely be banned and deleted after this one if I'm not drawn and quartered first.

Interesting nite.
We had a band meeting at a local pub and it looks like were going on "hiatus" for a while. I'm 63, by far the oldest in the band, but interestingly the only one that still has his own hair ... and it grows, right now about half way down my back with no signs of white or gray.
Anyway, we're all old guys and the "hiatus" has nothing to do with personality conflicts or any such ********. All the other guys are experiencing the trials and tribulations of getting older ... one guy had a heart attack, one is getting separated after a million years, one has a couple of teens that are going down the wrong path ... yada, yada, yada. We are all friends and support each other as best we can, unfortunately a "hiatus" generally means that it is done. So, I'm at loose ends.

I would love to be able to start a band that plays some country, some country rock like the Eagles, Burrito Bros., Emmylou, Clarence White, Rodney Crowell, Rosanne Cash, Commander Cody, New Riders of The Purple Sage and of course some Bluegrass. Ain't going to happen ... first of all, there isn't any viable market for it, second no-one can play such a wide variety of stuff well ... it's much more difficult than it appears. I would relate a story but it would be arrogant and self-serving.

So, after the band meeting, I went to my favourite country dive ... actually the only one. As usual, all the 20 something guys were looking for an excuse to hassle and harass me. Couple of minor incidents but nothing that a well placed hold couldn't solve. I've lived a hard life and have played in every kind of dive bar that you can think of ... a lot before any of you were born. You literally had to learn some defensive and offensive defence skills or die. I'm actually very patient, I remember what it's like to be young and full of piss and vinegar. On the other hand, as a man, there is a line that no-one crosses with me without a response.

But, I think I've cracked the code. My Mom passed away at 93, but everyone said she looked no older than 60 even after the dementia and strokes. I've inherited some of that. Every time I go into a pub/bar, people want to guess my age. They know I'm old but can't figure it out. The oldest guess I got tonite was 36. I think the problems arise when the young women that these guys are chasing are more interested in me than them. Oooh, the burdens I bear (lol). I won't go into what happened tonite, it wouln't be appropriate for this forum, but it was pretty good. As Merle Haggard would say ... "It Ain't Love, But It Ain't Bad". I'm never going to let anyone run me out of a pub that I enjoy.

Enough BS. Time to hit the sack.
I tried to respond in my last post to Rango, but I don't think it came thru. Apologize man for being a dick. Learned a good lesson from that and I try to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Not trying to be a jerk.
I'm not American, but I remember Daniel Monyihan? (wrong spelling, I know) at one time opined that " everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts". Smart guy was he.

Cheers All!!!
 
Last edited:
are you Chuck Norris??

Chuck_Norris.jpg
 
Sorry about the hiatus...but it doesn't always mean the end. Never say never is pretty damn true, especially when it comes to musicians(such a wishy-washy bunch). The other thing I've learned in my relatively short musical existence is that it's almost impossible to have EVERYTHING you want in one band. I'm sure you could find some guys to jam with, that would be fun, even if it only covers a portion of what you WANT to do. With the range of music I like, I'd never be able to do it all. So I've realized that the group of guys I write with, I'm pretty "blessed" to be on the same wave length, even if it only covers a portion of my interests.

Take every situation for what it is and enjoy what it has to offer. - That pretty goes for anything in life.

are you Chuck Norris??

Chuck_Norris.jpg
Amazing that he's 73, right?? Dude stopped aging like 25-30 years ago. It's weird.
 
Commander Cody... and the Lost Planet Airmen? Damn... you are old. Just kidding. SERIOUSLY! "Hot Rod Lincoln" was the first lead i tried to play. Sadly my fingers have never recovered. It was on a 45 I had as a kid. You yungins can ask your parents what a 45 is. (no, it is not a gun).

Sorry to hear about the "hiatus". I joined a band 6 months, for the first time... at the age of 48 (and I am second youngest in the band). I LOVE IT! It would kill me if it broke up. We play for the joy of playing... with dreams of playing out. I just like playing. Ain't that what its all about? Keep playing! Keep posting... when the mood strikes you.
 
If you are 63 and twenty-something knuckleheads are still willing to try and give you a beat down? I'd take that as a compliment!

Only the most depraved person would knowingly beat up an "almost senior", so perhaps they look at you as one of their peers. If that's the case, why not take advantage of that and start looking for some younger guys to start a band with? I'm getting close to being 40 and still jam with guys in their 20's, now I'm looked at like an elder statesman with experience. Miles Davis did the same thing you know.
 
:flute:
If you are 63 and twenty-something knuckleheads are still willing to try and give you a beat down? I'd take that as a compliment!

Only the most depraved person would knowingly beat up an "almost senior", so perhaps they look at you as one of their peers. If that's the case, why not take advantage of that and start looking for some younger guys to start a band with? I'm getting close to being 40 and still jam with guys in their 20's, now I'm looked at like an elder statesman with experience. Miles Davis did the same thing you know.

I think you're right. This physical stuff never happens anywhere else, just there. In context, this is a small, narrow, dark, dingy bar with no windows, kinda feels what I imagine solitary would be like. Also, the amount of alcohol served is mind boggling so they are all well litup by midnite and it doesn't close until two. They all seem to think I'm a contemporary of theirs or something. I don't believe any of them think I'm in my twenties, or even thirties, but they must think I'm young enough to be "fair game". I'm sure if any of them met me the next morning in the unforgiving sunlight, they would have a very different opinion about my age.

I go there because I like country music and it's the only bar in town where anything interesting happens. It's not so respectable, particularly early in the week. Reminds me of my wayward and misspent yut. Pub where we had our band meeting is quite large and we were the only people in it. The room across the hall had no-one. This placed was packed on a Monday nite.

One Dog Nite ...

1 is the loneliest number,
3 ain't so bad though :biggrin:.
 
Last edited:
Commander Cody... and the Lost Planet Airmen? Damn... you are old. Just kidding. SERIOUSLY! "Hot Rod Lincoln" was the first lead i tried to play. Sadly my fingers have never recovered. It was on a 45 I had as a kid. You yungins can ask your parents what a 45 is. (no, it is not a gun).

Sorry to hear about the "hiatus". I joined a band 6 months, for the first time... at the age of 48 (and I am second youngest in the band). I LOVE IT! It would kill me if it broke up. We play for the joy of playing... with dreams of playing out. I just like playing. Ain't that what its all about? Keep playing! Keep posting... when the mood strikes you.

Of interest, or maybe not ... Bill Kirtchen taught me that personally one afternoon at the Horseshoe Tavern many, many moons ago.

Still play it. I can be a bit of a sh1t disturber but at my age I just don't give a "rats ass" anymore, so when I get an opportunity to sit in with a band, particularly when their gigging, I make them play it. Way too many of them muck around endlessly between songs (and it's always the lead guitarist and singer) so I just step up to the mic and start ... "my pappy said son, your gonna drive me to drinkin', if you don't stop driving that HOT!, ROD!!, LINCOLN!!!". Hit the riff and away we go. What are they going to do? they have all these people on the dance floor waiting for them to stop feeding their egos and I'm not stoppin' ... other than that I try to behave. Audience always loves it ... SERIOUSLY, who could not love "Hot, Rod Lincoln".

I'm not the biggest fan of the Who but this line from "Substitute" is pretty descriptive, besides has the word "tit" in it :redface:.

"I look pretty young, but I'm just back-dated"
 
Last edited:
Because he sleeps in a coffin during the day.


Chuck Norris counted to infinity...............TWICE!!!

Chuck Norris taught Tiger Woods how to play golf and sleep with women.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

Chuck Norris doesn't like bugs. Thats why the Beatles stopped making music.

Once you go Chuck Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

Chuck Norris once ate a skittle and gave birth to EMINEM!

Chuck Norris CAN understand women.

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

A Chuck Norris action figure has slept with more women than you.

Chuck Norris can stain stainless steel.

Genies ask Chuck Norris for wishes.

Chuck Norris could build Rome in one day.

Chuck Norris doesn't spell words wrong. No one else spell them right.

Chuck Norris can breathe underwater.

There's a 99.9% chance, Chuck Norris is your biological father.

If you flip over China its says made by Chuck Norris.

The last time Chuck Norris cooked dinner... Jesus and the disciples had reservations.

Kim Kardashian secretly wishes she had an ass like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Before he forgot to give Chuck Norris a present, Santa Clause was real.

Chuck Norris can punch a hurricane in the eye.

Meat now comes in four grades, Select, Choice, Prime, and Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't !&$% with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris' action figure has slept with more women then most men.

You know whats stronger than a tornado ... a titty twister from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

There is only one known cure for lesbianism, Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

A waitress at a Outback accidentally gave Chuck Norris a rare steak instead of a well-done steak. Chuck proceeded to have sex with her on the table and said "Now that's well-done!"

Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

Chuck Norris can make apple juice with oranges.

America didn't win the American Revolution. Chuck Norris beat the British by himself. Drunk.

Chuck Norris can hit a homerun with a toothpick

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".

Chuck Noris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris cant break the law. Chuck Norris is the law.

Chuck Norris mivrowaves his food by putting it in his pants for a minute.

Light wonders how Chuck Norris moves so fast.

Every time Chuck Norris gets mad at the sun, there's an eclipse until Chuck calms down.

Two calculators are needed to add up Chuck Norris' IQ.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris once sold eBay to eBay on eBay.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down.

The first ten minutes of the film "Saving Private Ryan" was loosley based on a game of dodgeball played by Chuck Norris in the 4th grade.

Most men are OK with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

If you try to introduce your mother to Chuck Norris, she'll introduce you to your biological father.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris can speak in Morse code.

Chuck Norris can grate fresh parmesan cheese with his beard.

Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.

Chuck Norris is the only true white man who can jump. Period.

If Chuck Norris places a black dot from a sharpie on himself for every person that he killed he'd be black.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris can run on a tight rope while he is completey wasted.

Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

Chuck Norris can pee into the wind and not get wet.

Chuck Norris can find the needle in the haystack.

Chuck Norris CAN take the foot out of Joe Biden's mouth.

CNN was once called CN ... Chuck Norris didn't like this...

Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.

Orion admires Chuck Norris' belt.

Chuck Norris won the tour de france, on a stationary bike.

The Guinness Book of World Records was originally titled "Chuck Norris facts".

Chuck Norris' favorite candy are jaw breakers.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.

If you come home to find Chuck Norris doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Chuck gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.

Chuck Norris uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.

If Chuck Norris were an Olympic athlete, the Olympics would be canceled. Every four years they would just mail Chuck Norris his 237 gold medals.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

There was only one man ever to outsmart Chuck Norris, Steven Hawking, he got what he deserved.

Although it is not common knowledge, there three sides of the force, the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing
around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his
own head.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Once upon a time there was a magical kingdom. Then Chuck Norris came, and it wasnt so magical.

Chuck Norris never misspells a word. If he does, he simply changes the spelling.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
 
So glad you stuck around. :rofl:

Thx man. Appreciate it, just tryin' to have a bit of fun.

Last nite at the country bar, I was talking to a guy, he looked at me ... and I quote said ...
"I didn't know a rectum could talk".

Man, I thought I pissed myself laughing, in the middle of it this guy let go one of the loudest, most obnoxious beer farts I've ever heard. We went into spasms laughing, I honestly thought I was going to suffocate and then I started getting the dry heaves.
The people around us who heard the whole thing were doubled up also. Everyone else thought we were nuts. Haven't had a good belly laugh like that in a long time ... laughter, the best medicine.
 
Last edited:
Back
Top