Need advice. Should I stay or get out of church worship team?

Joined
Dec 13, 2013
Messages
133
Location
Spanish Fort, AL
I need advice. I've been playing guitar for about 25 years and for the last few years I have wanted to be in some kind of band. So last year I started playing in my church worship band and I'm not very happy with some things. I play rhythm electric guitar about once a month for a church of about 5,000 total members and four local campuses. Some of the things that are frustrating to me are as follows:
1) Sometimes there is an obvious unfriendliness, snobbery from some of the team members/musicians, etc. Some of the other musicians will walk right by without even speaking at all. However, there are some who are very friendly.
2) Since January it has become obvious that the church does not want me to play at the main campus which is the largest and my home church. They haven't scheduled me there since January and they predominantly have younger musicians play there. It appears that I am too old to play there. I will say that there are some downsides to playing the main campus- a) we all (guitarists) have to play the same guitar, pedals, amp owned by the church. It is nice equipment but, not what I'd want to play, b) They use a lot of track at this campus and therefore the guitarists and congregation have trouble hearing the guitars-they mainly hear the track, and c) The snobbery people I referred to above serve mostly at this campus.
3) There is quite a bit of disorganization every time I play. Examples are incorrect charts, incorrect mp3 jam tracks, and misinformation such as incorrect practice times. Every time I play I worry a lot that I'm not going to know the songs very well and sometimes worry so much that I lose sleep. Mostly the week leading up to my sunday to play is stressful and tiring to the point that it's not very much fun. Also, sometimes I am given very little time to learn the set.
4) I just haven't bonded with anyone that I have met from the worship team for the whole year. We are friendly to each other when we see each other but, other than that nada.
5) Numerous times they have had me scheduled at one campus and then took me off that campus without asking and then asked me to play another campus.
I will say that despite these shortcomings it has been a rewarding experience. I think I got quite a bit of practice at playing songs in front of people and even if they couldn't hear me very well I still worried and had to do my best. So, I think I grew as a guitar player. Also, it helped me a lot to overcome stage fright. Also, I enjoyed doing it for the obvious religious reasons-doing some good for people. So what do I do? Do I leave the worship band, stay and just deal with the frustrations or voice my opinions in hopes of instigating change? I have recently played at an open mic (played two santana songs-samba pa ti and europa) and did pretty well. Planning to do more open mics soon. Sorry for the long post. Please help!
 
I also have played in P&W for the past 15-20 years. If it was me, and it was my home church, I wouldn't be the one to walk away.

I know it's definitely a secular attitude, but it's the one I would have.

Good luck whatever decision you make.
 
I don't see why you'd do it if you're not being well-treated, and if there are times that people make you uncomfortable. What's the point?

And if people are snotty...wtf.
 
I have a friend that plays in his church band. There are some issues he's had to deal with. One of which is that there is no setting the direction of the band by the band members themselves. It's all set by the pastor. He's in a much smaller church than what you describe. Therefore, the management of the music scene where you are is probably more cumbersome to deal with.

Good luck in your decision.
 
IMHO, a worship band shouldn't tolerate egos, and if it's not fun, I'd just attend services, and make a joyful noise or your own. Something like church music shouldn't bring you down.
 
Praying about things seems to be reasonable. Congratulations on your Santana performances, would have loved to hear them, Those are two of my favorite guitar instrumentals.
 
From your post it seems there's a lot wrong or you're unhappy with many aspects that situation, so that seems simple enough. Where you go from there is the real question, and I think you should use that in the whole equation, not just how attitudes & disorganization are bugging you. You can plan to join another worship group, maybe start your own spiritual music band, or go instrumental until you figure it out. Carlos is a good teacher of how to work a melody, you can build on that and compose your own Samba Pa Ti.

Good luck with it.
 
I've been playing in our P & W band for 18 years. I've seen many musicians/singers come and go, and some come back and go again. It's important to acknowledge that people of faith are still just people. They have unique personalities, some quite irritating, some the opposite. We had a bass player at one time that I simply could not get along with. He really wanted to play guitar, but we already had 2 of us doing that. He would overplay on every song, and eventually had to be asked to leave the platform, and soon after left the church. I don't want to be preachy, but....ultimately you have to decide why you are playing there. Is it for you, or for a greater purpose? If you are playing because you feel it's what you need to do for the church, maybe finding a church that you fit into better would be an option. We are a very small congregation, and in my experience smaller churches tend to be more relaxed and "homey", but lack the talent pool of a larger one. Larger churches have far more going on behind the scenes, and generally more "cliques". Playing at open mic nights may be a way to keep your creative juices flowing, while trying to find a way to fit in with your current situation. Prayer works, I'll mention you in mine.
 
Treat it like it was any secular band situation. Seems like there are some oversized egos floating around in your worship band. I don't think that's what the Lord intended! Sounds like it's time to find a more positive situation. I'm Jewish--we didn't have a band at temple when I was growing up, just (just!) an excellent choir and organist, and of course the cantor, but I've played with some excellent musicians who came out of the gospel tradition, and none of them had ego problems. I was in a gospel big band for a while, so I've played some of that stuff, and playing any kind of music you're supposed to check your ego at the door, but you'd think that would be especially true when playing religious music--you're supposed to be glorifying God, not your own ego. The music should be as good as everyone can possibly make it, but it sounds like the worship team at your church is motivated by something other than praising the Lord. I'd say move on.
 
If this situation is causing you to lose sleep, then I would end it.

Given how many people are involved you may just have to "go with the flow" if you want to get anything out of playing with this group and lower your expectations.
 
Hey, everyone! Thanks for all the replies. I think everyone confirmed what I already feel in my heart is that the situation is not for me. I think I will get more involved in the open mics and hopefully be able to play in some blues jams. Maybe I'll play p&w again someday, who knows. I really do appreciate everyone's help/thoughts on this. Have a great day!
 
I think you made the right decision, GT. A church's primary purpose is for the glory of God, not to assuage anyone's personal feelings or egos. Helping people to that end is a worthy endeavor. If anyone is there for the wrong reason, it is time for a reevaluation or time to go. It is not, nor was it ever intended to be, a stage for personal edification. Play on and you will eventually find "it".
 
I have played with my church's band for around 4 years now. I’ve experienced a lot of the same frustration as you. Is there a worship pastor or somebody that you can talk to about your thoughts? Maybe he needs to sit down with the entire team and make sure everybody is on the same page about what you guys are supposed to be doing.


I’m certain you’re not the only one who feels the way you do. I was really stressed out with playing at church when I first started doing it – I’d be miserable the week of playing. No time for my at the time GF, parents, friends, activities, etc. I came to the point where I decided that if I was going to continue doing it, I was going to enjoy doing it. So I had to change my attitude about things a bit and just accepted that the things which frustrated me were just part of it all.


Those things still frustrate me from time to time, and occasionally get the better of me. But after 4 years, I’m definitely glad that I’ve done what I’ve done. Learning the songs gets easier and you have more free time, although it is still a big time commitment. You never know who is watching you and whose life you are impacting. I never really saw a live band until I went to my current church as a kid. We started going there in middle school. Seeing people play there is what made me want to learn to play the guitar. I started playing freshmen year of high school. 15 years have gone by and now I’m up there doing the same thing. I may never know whose life I’m impacting. I told the keyboard player a few months back that coming to our church is what made me want to learn to play guitar and she started crying. To me that is far more rewarding than playing in a bar somewhere – I’ve done both. You don’t always get the glory directly, but you will one day and you do make a difference.


Playing there has definitely improved my musicianship. Anytime you play with other people, you are going to get better. If the snobby people are snobby because they are good, try to learn from them and ignore the nonsense (Although I agree it shouldn’t be present). Also, people may just appear snobby because they are introverted. I don’t jump across tables to meet new people, but that doesn’t mean that I have anything against them. It just makes me uncomfortable.


A lot of Christian music is boring to me musically. There are some Christian bands that I love, but they generally aren’t as talented or at least aren’t my style of music. When I started playing, I played AC/DC, Metallica, G&R… all heavy guitar driven music. I think that gives me a different kind of talent to bring to the worship band and people who like rock music might actually enjoy listening to things. You’re always going to have diversity, especially in a congregation of 5000.

Hope that helps.

 
I lead worship at a slightly smaller church of about 1800 people the main sanctuary seats 1100. We have trouble finding new worship team members on a whole as well. We try to be as friendly as possible with all the band members. The drummers are the hardest to find and keep. We only have 6 guitar/bass players all total two of them play mainly bass and guitar every once in a while.

Reading your post makes me think it might be best to step down and find a ministry you can serve in better with out feeling not used or bitter in any way towards the other ministry members. Sometimes playing in a smaller group setting or even at a smaller church maybe best overall. Somewhere where you can be used better. Having a younger presence on stage is becoming common in a lot of large churches. I've noticed at the Hillsong churches once you are above about 45 or so they usually find another place for you to serve. The guitars players at my church range from 27-57.

Another option before stepping down is to meet with the worship leader and let them know the reasons the ministry isn't working for you. Most good ministry leaders want you to be somewhere where you are happy serving.
 
I'm not shocked, but I still am disappointed in the attitudes and treatment you have received. If there ever was a place where people should put in the extra effort to get along and work together, it would be in the church setting. And this is true for the music, administration, services, charity, business office, etc.

1. Peruse other musical outlets while you work on 2 and 3 below.

2. Find a church that understands its total mission better.

3. Explain to someone in a position to make changes at your old church why you left. Maybe you can be a source inspiration for change and improvement.
 
3. Explain to someone in a position to make changes at your old church why you left. Maybe you can be a source inspiration for change and improvement.

You don't need to leave to be a source of inspiration for change and improvement. Imagine if the rest of the world worked this way (marriages, businesses, children)... I guess a lot of times it does work that way. Nothing good comes easy. Nobody is perfect - that's why I go to church in the first place.
 
I'd find some people you really get along with and make some music of your own instead. :) Or at least play what you want when you want with them.

I'd also consider compensation. I'm sure you're not doing it for the money, but with a congregation of 5,000 the people running things are almost certainly paying themselves well. If they want people to help make their services successful and they make the decisions about what you do, they should be paying you enough to make up for all of the time they're taking from you too.

I don't know the details of your church, but some of these guys are millionaires, and I'm not interested in putting in a lot of hours helping to make rich people richer for free/cheap.
 
Hey, everyone! Thanks for all the replies. I think everyone confirmed what I already feel in my heart is that the situation is not for me. I think I will get more involved in the open mics and hopefully be able to play in some blues jams. Maybe I'll play p&w again someday, who knows. I really do appreciate everyone's help/thoughts on this. Have a great day!

Good decision. Doesn't matter whether its church, work, wife, friends, etc. If you are unhappy, you shouldn't be doing it. Period.
 
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