Didn't realize 'pattern' was the modern name for wide fat. That's definitely not going to be my jam. I know it's not that fat, but I like necks on the smaller side. I think that settles it. I can feel the gas slipping away. This guitar will be 'the one that got away' for me for a long time. Aesthetically 11/10, but neck profiles matter a lot. Thanks for the help everyone!