Musician Jokes-post yours

[Kiwi]

How do you get a guitar player to stop playing?

Hand him sheet music.

Usually paired with:

How do you get a classical musician to stop playing?

Take it away.

 

[WA Paul]

Love all the responses to Rush - legit LOLs! Thankfully I was only drinking water at the time!

 

[Alnus Rubra]

That’s because both those bands are awesome.

Seeing the Erasure cover brought back memories of a gig from about 2002.

My wife and I gigged together and we were playing a club in a town called Peterborough.

One of the audience kept being addressed as Mr Bell. He was a really nice guy and complimentary about our set.

At the end of the night, the club owner told us:

“Mr Bell’s son is in a band, you might know him, his name is Andy”

I asked him if he meant Erasure and sure enough it was!

 

[sergiodeblanc]

Seeing the Erasure cover brought back memories of a gig from about 2002.

My wife and I gigged together and we were playing a club in a town called Peterborough.

One of the audience kept being addressed as Mr Bell. He was a really nice guy and complimentary about our set.

At the end of the night, the club owner told us:

“Mr Bell’s son is in a band, you might know him, his name is Andy”

I asked him if he meant Erasure and sure enough it was!

Awesome!

 

[Alnus Rubra]

Anyway, back on topic!

Q - What’s the definition of perfect pitch?

A - When you toss a Banjo in the trash and it hits an accordion.

 

[Clashcityrocker]

I thought we were making musician jokes.

I'm not an R. Kelly fan he sounds like a real bag. I did make up the joke I had to include it.

 

[jxe]

i have been calling bags ‘bag’ for years!

I'm not an R. Kelly fan he sounds like a real bag. I did make up the joke I had to include it.

 

[Wakester]

A beautiful young lady asked me to pluck her G String


Then handed me her guitar and said "I think the neck needs adjustment, it's buzzing."

 

[andy474x]

*Ahem*

Drummers.

 

[Black Plaid]

How do you get to a million dollars as a Jazz guitarist?

Start out with two.

 

[Deleted member 21959]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greta_Van_Fleet_discography

 

[Deleted member 21959]

 

[Deleted member 21959]

 

[Deleted member 21959]

 

[Clashcityrocker]

A guy walks in a music store and says do you have any PRS amps?

The salesman says no we just have the Boss Katana

The guy comes back a week later and asks for some PRS amps.

The salesman says we still just have the Katana

Frustrated the guy goes back in a week and looks the salesman in the eye. "any PRS amps yet?

He says We got an Orange!

Orange you glad I didn't say Katana???