I'm so stupid that I...

dmatthews

Dave's not here
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Apr 26, 2012
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Vancouver, B.C. Canada
OK, here's an opportunity to expose an embarrassing moment. It could be recent, or of some historic significance. It also does not have to have anything to do with guitars, although I'm sure there will be some of that too.
Don't forget you are among friends:D

I'll start...

I just got home from band practice.
Except there WAS NO freakin' band practice!
I drove 50 minutes to the studio, put the car in park, and then it dawned on me... The bass player said last week he was going to be out of town so we canned it for this week.
I spent two nights getting my P22/LR Baggs DI etc dialed in because the new lead player wanted more authentic acoustic sounds for some songs I'd been faking it with the Silver Sky etc.
What a moron... 1.5 hours on the road for no reason at all except to burn gas at these ridiculously inflated prices.
I am idjit number one.
Next:p
 
Once accidentally set fire to a grass field up behind our old house with a branch of dried leaves and a magnifying glass. The 2 neighborhood kids who owned the glass were the ones who tossed the branch into the field.

I took the rap, the desk sergeant knew I was remorseful, and my Dad said, "I think both of us know you learned your lesson." Dad took me home, and I think I was sad for about a week. Dad forgave me as did Mom, but my squeaky clean reputation with my Dad was tarnished. It took quite a while to re-earn his respect again.
 
Two for you, both from a while back...but I can't think of anything more recent. That isn't to say that I've learned my lesson and don't make careless errors, it's to say that I just can't remember them any longer :D

First was back in the late 90s...I started a new job. About a week in, I got up after a long night, tired, and drove to my old job on autopilot. Luckily I caught myself before I walked in. Also luckily, my new employer had a sense of humor when I explained why I was half an hour late after only a week on the job.

Second was in college, so 90-91. I woke up the day of a midterm, glanced at the clock, and realized I woke up late. I threw on clothes, sprinted across campus, and made it just in time, although the professor gave me a strange look. It was a literature class, and I found it weird that I really didn't remember the material on the test, but faked my way through as well as I could - I've always been good at faking tests. The test ended, I got up to leave, and noticed the students coming in looked familiar, and looking around, I didn't recognize the students already in the room...looked at my watch, I had not actually woken up late. I had arrived in the classroom an hour early, and had taken the wrong midterm. So, sheepishly, I sat back down and took the RIGHT midterm.

I got a B on the wrong test, and a B- on the right one. The professor was amused.
 
I missed the same exam twice in University: 3rd year calculus.
The first time I missed it because of a snow storm. The school knew of the storm and planned to set a new exam time. Apparently they announced the new time during the thermodynamics exam, but I had left after finishing the exam about an hour into the 3 hour time slot so didn’t hear the announcement. After I finished my other exams, I called to find out when Calculus was rescheduled to, only to be told it had already taken place. They said I would have to take it up with the prof. I called her, and she was pretty sure I was gaming the system. I nicely suggested she check my academic record. She did, and called back later in the day to invite me to sit the exam in her office. I did make it on time for the 3rd try and she was happy to only have to watch me for 80 minutes or so rather than 3 hours.
 
Well, the list is far too long to list here, but my crowning achievement as far as stupidity goes was...

I re-married my first ex wife (a.k.a. Plaintiff #1) after being divorced for like 6 months. I highly recommend NOT doing that.

I told my dad we were getting re-married. He stopped what he was doing, stared at me in bewilderment, while shaking his head and said..."That's the equivalent of having a "garage sale" then, buying all of your old sh!t back!" Then he told me he really didn't think dropping me on my head as a kid caused permanent damage, but apparently he was badly mistaken, called me a dumb@$$ and walked away.

Hindsight being 20/20 and all, apparently pops knew what he was talking about.
 
Well, the list is far too long to list here, but my crowning achievement as far as stupidity goes was...

I re-married my first ex wife (a.k.a. Plaintiff #1) after being divorced for like 6 months. I highly recommend NOT doing that.

I told my dad we were getting re-married. He stopped what he was doing, stared at me in bewilderment, while shaking his head and said..."That's the equivalent of having a "garage sale" then, buying all of your old sh!t back!" Then he told me he really didn't think dropping me on my head as a kid caused permanent damage, but apparently he was badly mistaken, called me a dumb@$$ and walked away.

Hindsight being 20/20 and all, apparently pops knew what he was talking about.
But...some dumbass ideas are fun enough to give another shot. Perhaps save it for cliff diving or chugging peppermint schnapps though.
 
All I can say is if possible (and I know it's impossible) I wish I could go back in time and talk to my younger self. I would have told younger me "if you want to learn to play bass (as I did) go for it, but don't get into any bands. You're going to end up spending thousands on bass gear and later on, guitar gear and it's not going to get you anywhere." There was a point when I looked back on how much I spent and I came to the realization that all I was doing was trying to fill a void in my life because I had no life. I was working tons of hours and here I was buying gear in the hopes that one day I could put it to use. Never happened. I will say some of it came in handy when I was on a writing roll in 2009, but I could easily have accomplished what I did with about 1/5 of what I had. So I would have told myself "buy the bass, get a nice acoustic, a nice electric, a small amp, a bit of recording gear and discover the songs that are in you. Trust me, you'll be much happier in the long run doing that. And go to this particular CNC machine shop for a job. It's not glamorous, it's long hours but you're going to find it agrees with your skill level and you'll make some great money. Stay the course and you could retire early." I see it all now but back then I couldn't see anything.

This is not a bitter old man talking here. I was in bands, we wrote songs and had the dream. It didn't pan out but at least I can say that I gave it my all. My life turned out okay, I have what I need and compared to some people I'm living like a king. But it was a long, hard road once my band days came to an end. But still, I would have been a lot better off financially and no doubt happier if older Mike could have talked to younger Mike.
 
Another college exam story. I think it was Dynamics, but not sure. Anyway, I was pretty nervous about this test and when I got it back I saw that I got 85%. I was relieved and fairly happy with that. So my friend leaned over and showed me his 50%. Then he asked what I got for the last problem. He turned to the very last page and that was when I realized I had completely missed the last page and didn't do any of the problems on it. When I told him what I had done he just gave me a "I'm gonna kill you" look and I just laughed. I still can't believe I completely missed the last page. I always double and often triple check my tests before handing them in.
 
All I can say is if possible (and I know it's impossible) I wish I could go back in time and talk to my younger self. I would have told younger me "if you want to learn to play bass (as I did) go for it, but don't get into any bands. You're going to end up spending thousands on bass gear and later on, guitar gear and it's not going to get you anywhere."

But still, I would have been a lot better off financially and no doubt happier if older Mike could have talked to younger Mike.

Hey look at the bright side...

At least you didn't spend all that money on hookers and blow. So there is that.
 
Hey look at the bright side...

At least you didn't spend all that money on hookers and blow. So there is that.
Agreed! That's one thing I'll give myself a pat on the back for. I saw the dangers right away with the whole drug thing. Saw what blow was doing to people and in time it took the lives of two friends. Another one got involved in stuff that was much more wicked, a deal went bad and he got killed over it.
 
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