I did not expect this response...

[Aahzz]

Trying to put together a new band, have a Craigslist ad posted. I surprisingly have drummers and bass players coming out of the woodwork. I have a few set to come over when I get an email from yet another drummer who lives over an hour away, which is fine but is something of a warning flag to me. Anyway, since I have others already scheduled, I responded to him with "Hey John - have 2 potential drummers coming in soon, but will keep you in mind if they don’t work out."

That didn't strike me as a rude response.

Just got this in my email:
"Well, if you aren't even interested in giving me an audition unless the other two don't work out first, it probably would not be a good fit. I'm not interested in being the last, desperate choice because others didn't work out. Thanx anyway."

I'm feeling like I dodged a bullet with that dude.

 

[toothace]

Big fat bullet!

 

[alantig]

That's okay - maybe you'll find something else.

Like...

 

[bodia]

Good move on your part.

 

[DISTORT6]

Drummers. They ain’t like us.

 

[John Beef]

Eh, you never know. My father in law lives in the middle of nowhere and loves driving, joins bands that practice an hour away and doesn't mind commuting. His kit is 2 kits put together into one massive double kick drum space ship with all these toms including rototoms and all this stuff, and he happily breaks it all down and packs it up into a sedan and drives and drives just to play with people. He's pretty damn good too. A little crazy maybe, but in a good way.

 

[Going Modal]

"Thank you for your concerns. I will take that under advisement." *DELETES EMAIL*

 

[Uncle Bob]

Rude? No. But to be fair to the guy you could have just said that you’d prefer your band mates to be more local...

If I was in his shoes I’d probably have been a little offended too. Just saying.

 

[Aahzz]

Rude? No. But to be fair to the guy you could have just said that you’d prefer your band mates to be more local...

If I was in his shoes I’d probably have been a little offended too. Just saying.

I only mentioned it as a red flag because I don't think he'd stay long. If I didn't have other drummers lined up I'd have happily brought him in - my response, as you noticed, didn't mention the distance, it mentioned I already had drummers lined up. I sent the same response to a couple local drummers as well.

 

[Uncle Bob]

I only mentioned it as a red flag because I don't think he'd stay long. If I didn't have other drummers lined up I'd have happily brought him in - my response, as you noticed, didn't mention the distance, it mentioned I already had drummers lined up. I sent the same response to a couple local drummers as well.

That’s entirely up to you of course. I’m just saying because that was my honest reaction to what you said in your email, based on how I’d feel if it was me. I had to travel 90 minutes to play and rehearse with my last band, and that lasted for about three years.

Either way, I hope you find your drummer!

 

[CandidPicker]

Attitude and positivity. They don't necessarily go hand-in-hand. (I have a similar problem when external factors cause unwanted worries).

The guy may have been having a bad day. We all do. You could keep the door open to him by being compassionate, saying, "Sorry you feel that way. Hope you'll have a good day anyway. If perhaps you have change of heart, we'll connect soon. Take care of yourself."

 

[RallyFanatic]

Being the last, desperate choice worked out well for Ringo!

I don’t think you were rude, but I’d guess performing musicians are a little on edge with the world being what it is these days. I am not a performing musician so I can’t say for sure.

I do really miss live music though...

 

[CandidPicker]

Being the last, desperate choice worked out well for Ringo!

I don’t think you were rude, but I’d guess performing musicians are a little on edge with the world being what it is these days. I am not a performing musician so I can’t say for sure.

I do really miss live music though...

Yup. We could all use some R&R and an attitude adjustment sometimes. Sometimes life has its challenges that you just want to say, "Pffft" to. And we all need forgiveness when we mess up. Maybe the drummer is just really good at screwing up? That means he's trainable and clay to be shaped.

 

[Maxime Bousquet]

you were not disrespectful, but in his interpretation, it is clear that he was simply disappointed, I think times are not easy for many who want to find the scene! anyway we can't please everyone, good luck with your future drummer

 

[Deleted member 5962]

I'd agree with that he sounds more disappointed than just like a jerk. Remember you can't see "tone" online. I'd also probably respond and mention the distance and that others were already set to try out. Some guys don't mind traveling to play if it's fun. Meaning, I wouldn't decide that for a potential bandmate. So, based on info so far, I'm torn between "dodged a bullet" or not. I'd give him a simple reply saying that you already had others lined up, but were also concerned about the distance for his sake. If others don't work out, maybe he would. Depends on what you want from the band I suppose.

And, if one of the first guys pans out well, don't bother responding. No need too.

 

[Dirty_Boogie]

You should reply with “You’ll be the first to know when I’m looking for a third tier drummer for my other band.”

 

[Wakester]

For where I live, an hours drive for a gig is not out of the ordinary. So, an hours drive for an audition is a doable thing, and pretty much a necessity. I say give the guy a chance to prove himself. If he's late, you make it clear that being on time is a condition of employment. If he sucks, then send him on his way. The other option is to have him either send some videos of him working with a band, or do a skype/zoom audition with an agreed upon song. The live stream thing could work as a practice solution. I know Marillion has been practicing and recording new music that way.

 

[Rhythmisking]

"..the last desperate choice..."

???

Whoa! That's a really odd remark to make. If one of the two drummers is a great fit, why wouldn't you just go with that person? And if not wouldn't you be willing to give him a shot? How is that a "desperate" choice? Does he expect you to blow off two already scheduled tryouts to get him in first?
Maybe he was just having a bad day, but seems like a bullet dodged to me.

 

[Warmart]

I'm just a bit po'd that you didn't ask me? Sheesh

 

[gush]

Sounds like you dodged an agonizing bullet.

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