So this guy's driving down the road, and he sees a sign by the edge of the road in front of a house: "Talking Dog 4 Sale, $15." Intrigued, the guy pulls over, hops out of his car and walks up to the front porch, where an old codger is whittling a stick. "Hey," says the guy, "The sign says you've got a talking dog for sale. Is this real?" "Yep," says the codger, "He's tied up 'round back, at his doghouse. You can go see him if you like." Now the rush of excitement begins. The guy runs around the back of the house, and sees a dog, somewhat of a mongrel mix, chained next to his doghouse. The dog is reading a newspaper. "Say," speaks the guy, "Are you this talking dog your owner has for sale?" "Yep," replies the dog. "Holy carp!" says the guy. "Old dog, how did you happen to come to be here, and what's your backstory?" "It began years ago," says the dog, "I graduated college with a degree in criminal justice, and went on to become a Navy Seal. Then after being honorably discharged from the service, I was employed as a criminal investigator with the FBI. Finally, I was furloughed from that job, and sought employment with the CIA in counter-intelligence. I've since retired and now am a guard dog for this here house." "Holy mackerel!" exclaims the guy, "I'll be right back!" So the guy runs around to the front of the house and says, "Mister, you've got a talking dog back there you're selling for $15. Why, that talking dog is worth $15,000 dollars!" "Nope," says the old codger, "$15." "Then why in tarnation only $15?" asks the guy. "Because," says the old codger, "That dog's a liar. He ain't never done any of what he says at all."