How about some humor?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 11top, Mar 27, 2020.

  1. 11top

    11top Cousin Eddie's cousin

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2012
    Messages:
    7,731
    Likes Received:
    19,960
  2. CandidPicker

    CandidPicker Open-Ears / Zippered Lips

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2019
    Messages:
    2,324
    Likes Received:
    2,197

    Yep. This was the precursor to a little "snip-snip" a couple weeks back...
     
  3. CandidPicker

    CandidPicker Open-Ears / Zippered Lips

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2019
    Messages:
    2,324
    Likes Received:
    2,197
  4. Tucson Thump

    Tucson Thump Mint Heavy Relic

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2017
    Messages:
    1,898
    Likes Received:
    3,202
  5. CandidPicker

    CandidPicker Open-Ears / Zippered Lips

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2019
    Messages:
    2,324
    Likes Received:
    2,197
    ScottR likes this.
  6. Alnus Rubra

    Alnus Rubra Loving nature’s wonders

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2017
    Messages:
    10,885
    Likes Received:
    18,875
    A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
    "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
    He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
    pulls back the covers.
    She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
    She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
    The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
    "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
    very, closely:
    "Are - my - test - results - back?"
     
  7. CandidPicker

    CandidPicker Open-Ears / Zippered Lips

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2019
    Messages:
    2,324
    Likes Received:
    2,197
    Yes. I'm positive you're a healthy male. That grin is a sure tell. And, no, I ain't touching your junk.
     
    ScottR likes this.
  8. alantig

    alantig Zombie Four, DFZ

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2012
    Messages:
    10,096
    Likes Received:
    15,088
  9. Black Plaid

    Black Plaid just another Alan

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2019
    Messages:
    1,641
    Likes Received:
    3,447
    This one works better spoken, but it's my favorite for some reason.

    Man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but cellophane underwear.
    The doctor takes one look at him, and says "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts!"
     
    Alnus Rubra and ScottR like this.
  10. QuiltTop319

    QuiltTop319 New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2013
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    125
    Finally figured out why people are hoarding toilet paper: Every time someone sneezes, 25 people $hit their pants.
     
    Alnus Rubra, veinbuster and ScottR like this.
  11. DreamTheaterRules

    DreamTheaterRules I'm sailing

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2013
    Messages:
    6,688
    Likes Received:
    10,763
    Well this just took an unexpected turn. not that there's anything wrong with it.
     
    Alnus Rubra and ScottR like this.
  12. alantig

    alantig Zombie Four, DFZ

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2012
    Messages:
    10,096
    Likes Received:
    15,088
    Right down the crapper?
     
    ScottR likes this.
  13. bodia

    bodia Authorities said.....best leave it.....unsolved

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    20,520
    Likes Received:
    30,213
    Ok, just for the record, Scotch through the nose burns like a b!tch. Thanks for that :D:eek:
     
  14. dmatthews

    dmatthews Dave's not here...

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2012
    Messages:
    6,838
    Likes Received:
    11,980
    Good and neat vodka does the same.:oops:
     
    Alnus Rubra, bodia and ScottR like this.
  15. 11top

    11top Cousin Eddie's cousin

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2012
    Messages:
    7,731
    Likes Received:
    19,960
  16. Alan Manning

    Alan Manning Well Love a Duck Mary Poppins.!!!

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2015
    Messages:
    1,759
    Likes Received:
    1,353
    I'm back on the Naughty Step. Our Fridge Freezer wen't to freezer heaven on thursday.
    New one has just been delivered. I told the driver not to struggle " that's what the wife's for"
    He found it funny anyway.!!! :D:D:D
     
  17. 11top

    11top Cousin Eddie's cousin

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2012
    Messages:
    7,731
    Likes Received:
    19,960
  18. Alnus Rubra

    Alnus Rubra Loving nature’s wonders

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2017
    Messages:
    10,885
    Likes Received:
    18,875
    Do you remember a few weeks ago when we used to cough to cover a fart?!

    :oops:
     
    RickP, bodia, alantig and 3 others like this.
  19. 11top

    11top Cousin Eddie's cousin

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2012
    Messages:
    7,731
    Likes Received:
    19,960
    Not Markie.

    [​IMG]
     
    #59 11top, Mar 29, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2020
  20. bodia

    bodia Authorities said.....best leave it.....unsolved

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    20,520
    Likes Received:
    30,213
    I wonder what @alantig has to say.......
     
    RickP likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice