Guitarists say the darndest things

Clashcityrocker

Clashcityrocker

Curve Denier
Joined
Aug 9, 2016
Messages
1,141
This guitar neck is sticky...
If you eat P & J samwiches wash hands with soap and water. Repeat.

This guitar neck is super fast...
I've never seen a guitar neck move on it's own without poltergeist activity.

It has belt buckle rash...
Seek a qualified dermatologist.

For 15 watts this amp is really loud!
Hey Alexa, do you have tubes and a high plate voltage running through you?

This guitar plays like butter..
Have you actually played butter? I once tried and exclaimed "I can't believe it's not a guitar"

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“I could use this guitar as a baking pan for tone!”

“Whaaat?? No one ever says that.”

“I know, I just made It up on the spot. It came to me as a brilliant gift from the guitar gods.”

“It’s stupid, plus there are no guitar gods.”

“That’s the best part! And I follow it up with, ‘My amp is a tone oven!’”

“OK, but...um...what about your pedals?”

“Tone seasoning.”

“And (I’m going to regret asking) your cables?

“Tone spaghetti. Good cables are tone spaghetti of the guitar gods.”

“What about those heavy power cords you use?”

“Riga-tone-y. Get it? :)”
 
“My import guitar was way cheaper than your US, model, and it’s every bit as good if not better.”

Really? Just like that, right out of the box?

“Yep, just like that. All I had to do was swap the nut, change the tuners, level and polish the frets, update the pots, put my favorite bridge on it, and change the pickups. And I had it painted a color I like that wasn’t available.”
 
alantig said:
“My import guitar was way cheaper than your US, model, and it’s every bit as good if not better.”

Really? Just like that, right out of the box?

“Yep, just like that. All I had to do was swap the nut, change the tuners, level and polish the frets, update the pots, put my favorite bridge on it, and change the pickups. And I had it painted a color I like that wasn’t available.”
Click to expand...
LOL!!
 
As Eric Morecambe said to Andre Previn (after the latter was dismayed by Eric's "playing": No sir, I'm playing all the right notes, just not in the right order.

Or, as Alan Alda said in California Suite (paraphrasing, coz he was referring to writing): I found all the notes on the fretboard, now I just got to put them in the right order.
 
LSchefman said:
“I could use this guitar as a baking pan for tone!”

“Whaaat?? No one ever says that.”

“I know, I just made It up on the spot. It came to me as a brilliant gift from the guitar gods.”

“It’s stupid, plus there are no guitar gods.”

“That’s the best part! And I follow it up with, ‘My amp is a tone oven!’”

“OK, but...um...what about your pedals?”

“Tone seasoning.”

“And (I’m going to regret asking) your cables?

“Tone spaghetti. Good cables are tone spaghetti of the guitar gods.”

“What about those heavy power cords you use?”

“Riga-tone-y. Get it? :)”
Click to expand...

Frets = tone-nails

Nut = tone-bone
 
No, dear, this is my gift to myself this year. Yes, dear, you can buy that nice Louis Vitton you've been thinking about. No, dear, my nose is red because I stood outside shoveling the driveway both mine and yours, plus the 3 neighbors' parking spaces for them. Yes, cocoa would be nice. No, please don't bump up the thermostat; it would be more cost-effective to just put on an extra sweatshirt. Yes, I'm just watching my budget. No, we're not poor, dear. Yes, dear, my gift to myself doesn't arrive until late next year. No, dear, I don't see why you can't still buy the Vitton. Yes, dear, I'm serious. Thanks. Yes, dear, I love you too.
 
alantig said:
“My import guitar was way cheaper than your US, model, and it’s every bit as good if not better.”

Really? Just like that, right out of the box?

“Yep, just like that. All I had to do was swap the nut, change the tuners, level and polish the frets, update the pots, put my favorite bridge on it, and change the pickups. And I had it painted a color I like that wasn’t available.”
Click to expand...
And change out the body and neck.
 
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