Guitar Limericks

[rugerpc]

Mikegarveyblues won the haiku contest. There were some really good entries and the final decision was really difficult.

But, I'm a glutton for punishment. So, against my better judgement (and my accountant's advice), I announce the guitar limerick contest.

I'll start you off...

My ax has a nut made from bone
It gives it superior tone
Cheap ones of plastic
Aren't quit as fantastic
Only bone puts you into the zone


I'm looking for the David Abercrombie version of limericks. From Wiki:
"Lines one, two, and five have three feet, that is to say three stressed syllables, while lines three and four have two stressed syllables. The number and placement of the unstressed syllables is rather flexible. There is at least one unstressed syllable between the stresses but there may be more – as long as there are not so many as to make it impossible to keep the equal spacing of the stresses."
Ryhming, of course needs to be AABBA (not to be confused with the group ABBA).

Posts without a proper limerick subject to deletion...
The best limerick posted as judged by me will get up to $100 in PRS factory store swag. I'll know it when I see it.

 

[sergiodeblanc]

I once had a guitar that was blue
That I spray painted and dried in the loo
So I say to my friends
With a dimebag and some ends
If I can do it so can you

 

[rugerpc]

Serge bought a guitar from Nantucket
But couldn't quit a manage to pluck it
You see it was blue
And that's just not his hue
"It's rattle can makeover or f@ck it!"

 

[sergiodeblanc]

Paul used to throw parties at work
Allowing all the fanboys to lurk
Then I tried to steal his car
Didn't make it very far
Experience is canceled cause I'm a jerk

 

[rugerpc]

Doc bought a guitar on a guess
The color started to depress
You see it was green
A color obscene
And now it belongs to Bill SAS

 

[rugerpc]

P S F is giving me GAS
I GA... those pics and I spaz
I'm filled with envy
But my wallet is empty
I cry because I have to pass

 

[László]

If I was marooned on Mars,
I'd really miss my guitars.
I'd wish for a craft
not just for a laugh,
to fashion one out of the stars.

 

[John Beef]

GAS is an incurable disease
'specially when you're easy to please
"I just need one more"
said the ill guitar whore
while his wallet is feeling the squeeze

 

[László]

Pete Thorn's demos are best
they give me more GAS than the rest.
I tell you it's true
he plays better than you,
though he really should play PRS.

 

[John Beef]

When I'm bored, guitars fill my brain
and sometimes I mount a campaign
to buy something new
when the novelty's through
I'll play my black PRS again

When I'm bored, guitars fill my brain
and amplifiers cranking their gain
I'll read all the forums
which removes some boredom
But only playing relieves the pain

 

[László]

If I was a guy with a plan
I'd buy semi-hollow again.
I'd play only blues,
and wear two-tone shoes.
Then only play shows in Japan.

 

[Tosca]

There once was a dude who by chance
Had a Les Paul fall straight down his pants
The policeman called in
Had to fight back a grin
As the Bot tuners twirled the dude's lance

 

[László]

There once was a dude who by chance
Had a Les Paul fall straight down his pants
The policeman called in
Had to fight back a grin
As the Bot tuners twirled the dude's lance

Hahaha! He must have had a very long lance, 'cos those tuners are pretty far down his pant leg...

 

[Tosca]

Hahaha! He must have had a very long lance, 'cos those tuners are pretty far down his pant leg...

I had no idea my silly limerick submission would be subject to such "rigid analysis".

 

[László]

I had no idea my silly limerick submission would be subject to such "rigid analysis".

You just started my morning off with a good laugh! Thanks Tosca!

 

[Bill SAS 513]

Doc needed to dump a guitar
it did not go very far
of course , it was green,
which some find obscene,
If, blue, Serg would most likely char!!!!

 

[Bill SAS 513]

My wife says too many PRS
I rarely ever confess
in my man cave,
or on a small stage,
When PRS, there's no second guess.

 

[Bill SAS 513]

BTW...Serg and Tosca already won!!!!

 

[Bill SAS 513]

Sorry guys...just one more...

There's a guitar for which I dream,
If owned, I'd certainly cream,
maple with swamp back,
3 90's no tonal lack,
For now, its just but a gleam!!

 

[rugerpc]

Six strings some metal and wood
An action so smooth and fluid
I know if I try it
I'll just have to buy it
'Cause Paul makes guitars that good