"General Discussion?"

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Unlike some parties here, this one is not "invitation only." I love everyone, so I have an open door policy. But you do have to act right once you come in, so straighten up before I have to sic Sergio's cat on you. He's been trained to pee on your your shoes if you act up. You don't want your favorite pair of loafers ruined, now, do you?

She bites, scratches, and barfs too. A complete delight to be around.
 
Now see, THIS is what I call "general discussion." Friday nights are a good time to perhaps move to movie line quotes. People seem particularly jovial on Friday nights.
 
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Does she put it on the cat?:D

Don’t give her any ideas...


When this cat was young, we (and by that I mean she) tried putting a cute pink collar with a bell on her, repeatedly. Each time she would lose her sh!t and nearly crawl up the walls, knocking stuff over, until she’d wind up panting furiously under the sofa.

It was kinda entertaining to watch in an animal cruelty/Micheal Vick kinda awful way, but she’d wind up with her lower jaw and fangs stuck in the collar. A very traumatic experience for both the cat and me, because of course I was the one who had to get my wife’s cat free.
 
She cheats with her Apple Watch fitness app too. :rolleyes::p

My wife has a fitbit. About a year ago, she told me how many steps she had done for the day. I said "honey that's impossible." She insisted that she is on her feet all day and constantly moving. I said, "I understand but you can't possibly have taken that many steps." She insisted it was correct.

I did the math. Divided the steps by the minutes she'd been awake that day. Long story short, the thing must have thought she ran to work (17 miles) and home. The amount of steps PER MINUTE AWAKE was over 120. When I said "that means that from the time you woke up this morning until you got home from work, you were running the whole time at a two steps per second pace." o_O She got so mad she didn't wear it for a couple months.
 
Don’t give her any ideas...


When this cat was young, we (and by that I mean she) tried putting a cute pink collar with a bell on her, repeatedly. Each time she would lose her sh!t and nearly crawl up the walls, knocking stuff over, until she’d wind up panting furiously under the sofa.

It was kinda entertaining to watch in an animal cruelty/Micheal Vick kinda awful way, but she’d wind up with her lower jaw and fangs stuck in the collar. A very traumatic experience for both the cat and me, because of course I was the one who had to get my wife’s cat free.
I say again, lose the cat. Get a dog. ;)
 
My wife has a fitbit. About a year ago, she told me how many steps she had done for the day. I said "honey that's impossible." She insisted that she is on her feet all day and constantly moving. I said, "I understand but you can't possibly have taken that many steps." She insisted it was correct.

I did the math. Divided the steps by the minutes she'd been awake that day. Long story short, the thing must have thought she ran to work (17 miles) and home. The amount of steps PER MINUTE AWAKE was over 120. When I said "that means that from the time you woke up this morning until you got home from work, you were running the whole time at a two steps per second pace." o_O She got so mad she didn't wear it for a couple months.

My mother in law does the same thing with her step count.
 
My wife has a fitbit. About a year ago, she told me how many steps she had done for the day. I said "honey that's impossible." She insisted that she is on her feet all day and constantly moving. I said, "I understand but you can't possibly have taken that many steps." She insisted it was correct.

I did the math. Divided the steps by the minutes she'd been awake that day. Long story short, the thing must have thought she ran to work (17 miles) and home. The amount of steps PER MINUTE AWAKE was over 120. When I said "that means that from the time you woke up this morning until you got home from work, you were running the whole time at a two steps per second pace." o_O She got so mad she didn't wear it for a couple months.
It’s rarely a good idea to math your spouse’s excitement.
 
My mother in law does the same thing with her step count.

"Yeah, I'm a few steps behind for the day. I'm going to drive to the grocery store I can can catch up."

(My wife would SO want to slap me if she read this :p)
 
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