Frustrated as h*ll sometimes

danktat

Award winning tattoo artist ... Amateur guitarist
Joined
Nov 5, 2018
Messages
1,668
Location
PA, USA
Sometimes I get so horribly frustrated, and even angry with myself for not practicing enough that I'm ready to put this thing down. But, I'm kind of realizing that it's not that I need more practice (well, yes I do, but that's neither here nor there). It is more like when I DO actually sit down to practice I have no direction. There's no real structure to my practice. Sure, if I have an upcoming gig, I will learn the songs that I need to learn in order to be able to play them. Or if I'm going in to record, I will have my parts together to the point where I can work my way through them. But as far as practicing in general, TO BE A BETTER PLAYER/MUSICIAN, I am realizing I have no idea how to do that. If I am studying a song, technique or a bit of theory, i might get halfway or 3/4 of the way through it, and then not attempt to play it again for another month or two. Or I will start warming up with the intention on doing something specific, then, my mind wanders, and sends me off noodling on things that aren't necessarily improving my playing or my understanding of music. And by the time I'm done messing around with that, I don't feel like practicing anymore. For the amount of time that I've had guitars in my possession, I should be good. But I'm not. Perhaps serviceable, but not good. I got to figure out a way to put this thing together. I'm not getting any younger. Not a whole lot of time left in life for my claim to get better.

(pic for attention, and because this was all part of the same facebook post....sorry it is my cheap guitar that I keep in the shop)

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My Music teacher was very strict about the line between playing and practicing. She would ask .. did you practice ? I'd replied I played 3 hours ... That doesn't answer the question !

Real practice has to be focused on the repititon of a passage until you can't fail ( Suzuki method) Many practice only until they get it "right". BIG difference , especially when it comes to performance. In my Orchestra days we would take it measure by measure .. slow , tedious and effective.

I learned to set aside an hour for real practice and then reward myself with just playing for the joy when complete
 
Man this resonates with me. I’ve just picked the instrument back up after many years and, while I am getting close to back to where I was, I don’t feel like I have the tools to surpass it. I have been considering taking some lessons again, just to get “unstuck” and branch out with soloing. I need to re-learn how to practice, and some lessons to help provide that scaffolding would be really helpful.

That said, this (hobby/profession/vocation/passtime) is supposed to be fun and enjoyable! I can understand the stress and frustration of wanting to get better and being unsure of how, but even time spent “meandering” with the instrument is making you a better player, and it is probably pretty enjoyable … if you can let go of the self-applied pressure to improve at some arbitrary rate!

Good luck to you, I can identify with how you’re feeling!
 
I'm pretty much in same situation as direwolf08. But I didn't just stop playing, I sold all my gear to focus on photography. Then the pandemic hit and that came to screeching halt. When my son started lessons about a year and a half ago I started back in playing, and buying the gear needed. At this point, I'm back to the state I was before stepping away, but haven't moved further skill-wise. I was talking to my son's instructor and I think I'll be starting a few months of lessons with him to give me something new from a technique perspective that will both push me in new direction, but also force me to practice what he gives me. Hopefully that carries on overall with a more disciplined and structure "practice" rather than just playing what I can remember I used to play.
 
I have always found it easier to practice when the work I’m putting in is going to a specific goal. Whether it’s playing a specific solo or song or learning a key I want to write a new song in, that will keep me practicing more than just knowing that I should. For instance, I told myself I wanted to improve my sweep picking just because it seems like a technique a lot of “good” guitarists have nailed down nowadays…yeah, I still haven’t gotten as far with it as I originally “wanted”. I came to the conclusion that it’s because my aptitude for sweep picking is already more than enough for the musical ideas I want to express. So because getting better at sweep picking didn’t have a creative end goal, I failed to keep my attention on it.
 
I have always found it easier to practice when the work I’m putting in is going to a specific goal
That is kind of what I was saying in the OP. If I am practicing the songs we will be playing out, I will learn them. If we are in the studio, I know what "specific" parts I need to have down before we go in and can learn them. But, if it is "just to get better", there is almost a mental block to anything that will systematically push me forward into making progress.
 
You are not alone. Lots of writer's block and limits on improvement to endure in this. Don't be too hard on yourself and try to enjoy.
What I want most for myself and others is not a demand that we catch up to everyone ahead of us, but just to improve what we can, learn in ways that work for us, and of course enjoy.
 
That is kind of what I was saying in the OP. If I am practicing the songs we will be playing out, I will learn them. If we are in the studio, I know what "specific" parts I need to have down before we go in and can learn them. But, if it is "just to get better", there is almost a mental block to anything that will systematically push me forward into making progress.
I do the same, I am not inspired by the abstract goal of being "better" to do the kind of practice that it takes to improve technique or knowledge. I fall into the same ruts and noodle aimlessly when left to my own devices. I get the most mileage out of learning new songs, but it's been 20-odd years since I was in a band to push me to do it! I can certainly do it, but I'm lazy as hell when I have no one one answer to but myself!
 
So Danktat please don’t take this wrong are you dyslexic? I am and it took me 60 years to figure out why everyone around me got it and I didn’t. Almost wreaked me in school but oddly enough dyslexic people find a way to learn how to learn. And believe me it has almost nothing to do with what we all thought dyslexia was/is change letters backwards etc. It’s how we process information that is different. There are many great books on the subject and the one that gave me that ah ha moment was “The Dyslexic Advantage” by Brock L Eide. Good luck and I’m sure you’ll get a lot of suggestions and support here! Ken
 
Danktat please don’t take this wrong are you dyslexic?
No, in fact, I was that kid with the rest of the "Gifted and talented" nerds in school based on IQ and and cognitive skill set. I learned to read when I was 2. Passed SATs in the sixth grade. Who's Who Of America's High School Students two years in a row.

Now, I have been diagnosed with a LOT of other things throughout my youth. But dyslexia wasn't one of them.

Though, I did once have some councilor in rehab tell me that being smart may actually be my downfall. She said that the fact that I never had to struggle to get good at most things would mean that I wouldn't learn how to. Who knows, maybe she was right.
 
Though, I did once have some councilor in rehab tell me that being smart may actually be my downfall. She said that the fact that I never had to struggle to get good at most things would mean that I wouldn't learn how to. Who knows, maybe she was right.

That makes a lot of sense! I’ve felt similar about myself at times with certain things. You might like the book “Hidden Potential” by Adam Grant … it talks a lot about building a tolerance for the discomfort of not being naturally good at something. Dont have to read the whole book (I didn’t) but there were parts that gave me a new outlook on acquiring new skills!
 
I Am Going To Go At This From A Different Angle Because I Have Been In The Place You Mention Several Times In My Life. For Me...The Key Was Inspiration At The Root. The Lack Of Inspiration Is A Bad Thing And We As People Can Be Inspired Many Ways And In Many Different Areas...Sometimes All At The Same Time. Routine Changes...Mixing Things Up A Bit In Life....(No Matter What That Is) Can Be A Wonderful Thing. Go To A New Place To Eat, Try Some New Food. Listen To Some Different Music...It May Be Music You Would Never Even Want To Play But It Is Simply Different. I Could Go On And On But You Most Likely Get What I Am Saying Here. The Other Key For Me Was Simply To Play. Make Yourself Play. Pop In A Band You Like And Play Along With The Record...Improvise If You Have To...Fake It If You Have To...Just Play The Guitar. Record Yourself...Even If It Is On Your Phone And Hear Yourself. This Will Trigger What You Are Hearing And You Will Also Know What You Were Feeling At The Time You Recored It And It Will Bridge Those Two Things Together And That Can Shift You. You Can Study Yourself Into Oblivion But I Am A Firm Believer In A Guitar Player Needs To Play Their Guitar. Play With Other People...Stop Using A Pick And Force Yourself To Play The Stuff You Like And Know Without A Pick. Anything Can Be A Catalyst For Change...Just Don't Ever Get Complacent And Comfortable. Try Playing A Style You Don't Normally Play...Change Things Up A Bit And See Where It Takes You. I know You Are Talking About Practicing And I Am Talking About Playing But For Me, Inside Of What I Am Saying Here This Stuff Led Me To Practicing...Maybe It Can For You As Well. :)
 
Well the closest thing I have read hear to the way I feel about it is what Bogner said above. Why? What is the goal? If you are playing guitar because you want to be able to do x, y and z with theories of a, b and c, then that is what you need to practice until you are able to do it with eyes closed and standing on your head. If you are playing guitar because you want to make music, then focus on that. If you are playing guitar to be able to sit in with any players from any genre at any tempo using any theory, you have a lot of work ahead of you ;~))

Although theory and technique do have their place in the music world, my primary focus is making music. I do not feel that I need to know13 theories and be able to shred like Van Halen to do so. Matter of fact, I am fine creating my music with cowboy chords. It can be done and has been done by many for thousands of years. Long before there was complex symphonic arrangements with theories developed by academics, there was common folk making simple music from their hearts, and that was their reward, being able to express their inner musical soul.

So what do you want to achieve with your musical capabilities? Once you can answer that question (and many can not and that is understandable but a journey you must know the destination of prior to embarking on the other paths) I think you have a path to what needs to be done. If that means you then need to learn scales x, y and z so you can play or play along with a, b and c, then you mind needs to lock in on that and not let go until you have accomplished that.

Best wishes on clearing the hurdles imposed by both self and the world that surrounds you! But it all comes down to what you want to do musically and therein lies your focus IMO ;~))
 
No, in fact, I was that kid with the rest of the "Gifted and talented" nerds in school based on IQ and and cognitive skill set. I learned to read when I was 2. Passed SATs in the sixth grade. Who's Who Of America's High School Students two years in a row.

Now, I have been diagnosed with a LOT of other things throughout my youth. But dyslexia wasn't one of them.

Though, I did once have some councilor in rehab tell me that being smart may actually be my downfall. She said that the fact that I never had to struggle to get good at most things would mean that I wouldn't learn how to. Who knows, maybe she was right.
I was placed in the gifted program too but I wouldn’t beat yourself up over the practice thing. I think it’s more basic psychology that applies to everyone. Our brains think things through to the end even if we don’t. If you’re already playing music you enjoy well then the brain can play tricks on you. Why practice when we’re already doing the things practice helps us achieve? I’m not trying to speak for your experience but offer some perspective that might help you on your musical journey. Discipline for discipline sake doesn’t always work, in my experience.
 
I’m in the same boat, and that, in my case, leads to long periods of not playing :(
It sucks when you feel like that.

Over time it becomes more difficult to hold on to a specific goal and stick to it, practicing something that feels like it's disappointing and the pleasure gives way to dissatisfaction and after the emotion and the pleasure is no longer there
learning becomes almost impossible.

Now I spend about 30 minutes practicing and the rest is just playing to play, like when nothing was more important than holding a guitar and making noise!
 
Some good ideas here for me as well. I know I want to learn and get better, but I don’t really know how. I plan to start “soon” to going back to the “JustinGuitar” stuff. It makes sense and he’s pleasant for me to watch on-line. In addition, I’ll need to set some small and achievable goals around blues and rock knowledge and practice of keys, scales, strumming and picking. Noting that I’m definitely a beginner still. For now, I just want a few skills to make playing more enjoyable.

@danktat after all of that rambling, all I’ve got is that you are not alone! Well, that and that I’ve read your handle as “dankat” for the last 3 years or so.
 
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