Man, finding tone... 15+years, more money than I should even consider adding up, for the sake of my sanity! I like your guys' thoughts on this though - you know what you like. One thing I've learned is to not waste time on gear that just won't give me what I want, you guys sound like you've done the same, especially Mark. I'll give something a fair shake, but if it's clear that I just can't get what I want after that, I've learned to get over it, return or sell the gear, and move on. I've had some amps and pedals that I just fought with forever and, while I mostly liked them, they couldn't fully give me what I wanted - for a while it was fear of not being able to find something better, but with the wide range of gear available, I've learned not to worry as much about letting something go.
For me, the sound is a full bodied tone, has to have a little top end grind but not harsh, and low end punch, and fairly evenly centered mids. Don't care for tubescreamers very much, in general, although certainly useful at times, but a Tumnus as a boost or alone has been making me very happy lately. Likewise, I've been back and forth, and back, and forth again on V30's and their mid character. I've found that they're application dependent - depends on the amp pushing them, as well as using them for leads vs rhythm, and even just the feel of the song. I recently recorded 2 songs with V30's in my 2x12, and I think that was a good choice - the songs had a fair amount of lead work, and the rhythm parts had lots of movement in the midrange, which the V30's brought out nicely. But, when it comes to a chest thumping rhythm tone, the V30's are a little squishy on the bottom and short on top end bite. I should mention, this is all through my PRS Custom 50 - the amp has a character that enhances the characteristics of a V30 and at times can almost make it too much of a good thing. The other speakers I use are Eminence OEM, I estimate they sound something like a Lead 80 or G12T75, although that's just going by how I've heard those latter speakers described, not because I've actually used them. They have a little more top end bite, bottom end content, and that bottom is punchier. I would like to try a set of Celestion V Type speakers in it as well, by description they sound like a more modern take on a V30, with a little "less of that good thing" vibe. Lately I would say speakers have been my main point of uncertainty - they can make such a huge difference because they're the last thing in the chain, EVERYTHING goes through them.
Dirt boxes (the ones I've tried) have gotten better by leaps and bounds in probably the last 3 years. I've been through a lot and had always been tweaking them to get a missing something to come out, until I got a Bogner Wessex, Friedman Dirty Shirley, and Wampler Dracarys. They all do a different thing, but they do it well, EQ is right for matching my amps, and the gain structure pleases me. The nice thing about the Friedman is that the mid knob and treble/presence are focused on frequencies that I can use to get that V30 EQ curve, without actually having to use the V30's all the time. I also plan to grab the new dual BE-OD, with the mid control, I liked everything about the BE-OD except the missing mid content and it having excess gain, and the new dual addresses both areas, and I think it's gonna be awesome.
I like Fender style reverb - I'm not picky about where it comes from, but I like it bright and springy. The spring setting on the new MXR reverb is my go-to, so I can get it out of any amp, but I also have a TC reverb and the "Spring Fever" toneprint by Robben Ford is excellent too. Stacked delay, like Andy Timmons does - he used to use a pair of DMM units set to different times, he uses something else now but the idea is the same. Not big on modulation, just have never gotten that into it. I should dabble more, but I'm afraid to rely on effects to make my playing interesting.
Guitars, again application dependent. I've not had many I didn't like after I discovered their strengths, tweaked them with different strings, pickups, wiring - some need more than others, but I like having a range of character.
Technique - I'm a straightforward player. I'm not going to find an obscure modal lick, just hit you with something melodic, meaningful, emotional, and not fitting too many notes in. This isn't really tone related, but my approach is not to do everything, just do what I do well. I've learned that no one wants to hear a "meh" rendition of an awesome riff, but they'll appreciate something that's done well, even if it's less complex.