I can relate to a lot of that! With the group I've played with the the last seven or so years, we did a great dual lead thing. The other guitarist and I play together so well. No egos, tight harmony playing, trading solos, playing different chord shapes. Just a ton of fun.
I say "did" because the other group members are full time pros and the gigging market is just crap. Nobody wants to pay much money, so I generally don't get the call unless the other guitarist is away for another gig and they need a sub. These people are feeding their kids and paying bills with their share, while I'm blowing mine on guitar gear I really don't need.
The struggle is real if you're a full-timer. I'm glad to avoid the pressure and just play for enjoyment and the occasional fun money. White collar life has other pressures, of course, but hustling a gig to pay bills isn't one of them.