I truly appreciate the concern, Howie. You’re a good friend to step up and call me out, and I know you’ve got my best interests at heart.
However... a proper disguise is imperative when you’re a shady @ss Mofo. My last two cars made me look like a cop, or a government employee (I ruffled feathers with some of my more nefarious acquaintances a few times when I pulled up with my first black Mercury Grand Marquis. Some of them are still unconvinced I’m not, not a federal agent).
And to be completely honest, I was at my most prolific point in life with the ladies when I drove my Nissan Quest minivan. My sister had one of those license plate holders emblazoned with “Proud to be a soccer mom” on it and gave it to me as a gift on my 28th birthday... she thought it was hilarious until I promptly installed it, and continued to rock it for the life of the car.
You see, you don’t traffic in narcotics, guns, or guitars in a black Yukon with tinted windows, or a red sports car, or even a white cargo van... it’s too obvious, and you’ll get caught.
No, you do that sh!t in a Sandstorm Metallic CR-V while wearing pleated khakis, a polo, and with a phone holster and those neoprene sunglass croakies. So me getting a vehicle like this is a return to form, and a step towards living my best life again.